“Thank you. I’m scared out of my mind, but I figure if Rule can do it so can I.” I laughed, remembering the absolute look of terror on Rule’s face when he couldn’t fix whatever was wrong with his little boy.
“You’ll be fine. I’ll absolutely make sure the new house has room for you guys and a baby.”
We chatted for a little while longer. I think she desperately needed someone to talk to about the baby besides Jet. I couldn’t get enough of hearing the nervous excitement in her voice. Ever since I had woken up in that hospital bed in Louisville, all I had ever wanted was for Ayden to have the best kind of life—just like she wanted for me. I wanted her to be truly and fully happy. It was just one more way in which my entire life felt almost complete to know that she was there. She was happy and where she was always meant to be. It twisted my insides up a little to know that I would never get that with Royal.
It was the following weekend that I finally found my dream house. It was a little farther away from the Bar than I initially wanted, just a few blocks away from Phil Milstein Park and the Platte River. It was totally a family home. Big and sprawling with a massive backyard that had a deck, a hot tub, and a privacy fence. There was a two-car garage and a media room complete with a popcorn machine. The house had an impressive, tricked-out chef’s kitchen, which was hilarious considering I didn’t own a single pot or pan, and it came equipped with more rooms than a single guy with no family could ever possibly need. But I loved it. It felt right, and the idea of needing to buy a lawn mower to care for grass that was all mine somehow appealed to me on a deeper level more than any of the other places I had looked at closer to the city had.
I told the realtor I was working with, a smoking-hot blonde that was more interested in getting me into bed than she was in getting her commission, to put in an offer at asking price. She balked and told me the place had been on the market long enough to negotiate a better price. I didn’t want to gamble or play games. I just wanted the house. I wanted to be present, wide-awake in the here and now. I reiterated my wishes and turned down her offer to go out for a celebratory drink when of course the homeowners accepted. Eventually I was going to have to shake off the haze of Royal that clouded my mind whenever another lady showed some interest in me, but I wasn’t ready for that part of moving on with my life just yet.
I went into my shift at the Bar a little stunned. I couldn’t believe I had just bought a house. For the very first time since I started working for Rome, I needed a drink before my shift instead of downing one when it was over. Dixie squealed in delight for me and Church just gave me a solemn head nod, which I assumed was his badass seal of approval. Darcy wasn’t really talking much ever since the debacle with Avett and Jared, but she managed to scrounge up a smile for me and a hug. She told me Brite would be so proud once he found out, and I had to admit that I liked making the gruff ex-Marine proud of me. He was the closest thing to a father figure I had ever had, so any kind of approval from him was always welcome.
The shift flew by. Mostly because I was thinking about how different my life looked as spring bounced happily into summer this year versus last year. Last year it had been an endless string of pretty girls to keep me company in the dark because I couldn’t face them in the harsh light of day. It had been just trying to keep my nose clean and prove to Rome he could trust me. I had been getting shoved in the back of a police cruiser for a crime I didn’t commit and I had been willing to sit my ass behind bars because I really thought that was what I deserved.
This year my family was happy, healthy, and growing. I didn’t need to wonder if Rome trusted me or about keeping my nose clean. Both of those things were just part of my every day now. I had a home, a job that was both fulfilling and exciting, with all kinds of potential. Quite possibly the biggest change was that I no longer worried about whether I had earned all the good things at my fingertips or not. Regardless if I had changed enough or given up enough in order to be worthy of all this good fortune, it was mine and I wasn’t going to squander it away like I had been doing before. I wasn’t going to sit my ass in a cell ever again trying to repent. The other big change was of course the fact that only one girl would do. She was the only one I wanted. The only one I couldn’t get off of my mind. The only one I dreamed about, obsessed about. She was the only girl that I had ever loved and there wasn’t a replacement for that anytime soon. Other girls might come and go, in time, but Royal would always hold my heart, and I knew there wasn’t any way to get it back from her. It was probably safer in her hands anyway. I had never taken very good care of it when it was in my possession.