CHAPTER TEN
Brenna stepped out of Darren’s car, staring up ahead at his mother Patty’s house.
She had fond memories of this place. She’d been made to feel very welcome here by Darren’s parents.
Patty was the nurturing, fix-it type, and had been instrumental in getting her and Darren back together during their multiple ‘off-again’ stages. When she and Darren parted ways for good, Patty had been truly devastated.
Brenna herself had missed the woman. In the years she’d been with Darren, she’d been closer to Patty than to her own mother. With Darren also being an only child, Patty had embraced Brenna as the daughter she’d always wanted.
That was why it had totally shocked Brenna when Darren had told her earlier today that Patty had advanced cirrhosis of the liver, and was awaiting liver transplant. Brenna had been engulfed by sadness, unable to imagine the bubbly woman being so ill.
She glanced at Darren, who was retrieving some groceries from the back seat. He’d just lost his father to cancer six months ago, and not knowing when a donated liver would become available for his mother was weighing him down. He’d been teary when he saw her at lunch today, and she hadn’t known how else to express her sympathy but with a hug. It couldn’t have been enough with what he was going through. So when he’d said that Patty wanted to see her, she’d immediately agreed to come.
“Ready?” Darren asked with a small smile.
She nodded, and walked with him towards the house.
“Aunt Sally currently lives here too. She looks after Mum full time,” Darren said conversationally.
“That’s good,” she responded, trying to recall what Patty’s divorced younger sister looked like. She’d only met Sally a couple of times.
“I don’t know what mood Mum will be in right now,” Darren said, opening the door with his key. “There are days when she feels so down she doesn’t want to get out of bed. This waiting for a donor gets to her. But I’m sure she’ll perk up when she sees you.”
The living room was empty, but they could hear murmurs coming from the kitchen.
“Glad to see you out and about, Mum,” Darren said as they entered the room.
“Hello, Dar—Brenna!” Patty rose from her seat and extended her arms in welcome.
“Hi, Patty,” Brenna responded, hurrying to give the woman a hug, compassion rising to her throat. Patty’s illness was evident from the unnatural yellow tone of her skin.
“Oh, my. I’m so happy to see you, my darling,” Patty said, before bursting to tears.
“Patty!” Brenna exclaimed in dismay, putting her arms around the woman. “Please don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s with me lately. But it’s so nice to see you again, Brenna.”
“Have a seat,” Brenna encouraged, glancing at Darren, who was staring at his mother in consternation.
“Great timing, you kids,” Sally interrupted. “Just in time to help me prepare dinner. And I’m also pleased to see you again, Brenna.”
“Thank you, Sally. Same here. What can I do to help?”
*
“I better go,” Brenna said, checking her watch. It was ten-thirty. If it hadn’t been for Patty being a chatterbox all night—unusually so, as Darren had observed—she would have left earlier. But the older woman was looking really tired now.
“Okay. I guess I better let you,” Patty said, hiding a yawn. “Are you staying at Darren’s tonight?”
“Uh, no,” she answered in surprise. Did Patty think she and Darren were back together? She glanced at Darren, who gave her a little shake of the head. He didn't want her to say anything.
“I’m driving Brenna back to her place, Mum,” Darren said.
“Okay. You drive safely. And Brenna, I would love to see you again this Saturday, dear.”
“Yes, it’s my birthday,” Sally said. “We’re having a small gathering here. It will only be us with my two daughters and their boyfriends.”
“And you can’t not come, Brenna,” Patty said insistently. “You’re part of the family again.”
Brenna gave Darren an almost-panicked look. What the hell had he said to his mother? She wasn’t prepared for this.
“She’ll check her calendar, Mum,” Darren said, reaching out for Brenna’s hand and squeezing it in warning. “We have to go.”
*
As soon as they were in the car and Brenna was sure the women in house couldn’t see them anymore, she turned to Darren. “You told your mum we’re back together?” she asked in a low voice, trying not to let her irritation get the better of her.
“I didn’t. She obviously assumed we are.”
“We have to tell her the truth, Darren. It’s not right to fool her like that.”
“Isn’t it?” Darren asked, staring back at the house.
“No!”
Darren leaned on his seat, staring blankly through the windscreen. “What if her condition gets worse and there is no donor in sight? What if she’s only around for a few more weeks?” he asked bleakly. “You should see what she’s like when her anxiety and depression are strong, Bren. And they are strong most days. Tonight is the happiest I’ve seen her in a long time. Because you came with me.”
Brenna swallowed.
“Bren,” Darren said, looking at her with pleading eyes. “After seeing what she was like tonight, I don’t have the heart to tell her we’re not really a couple. The happier she is, the better she’ll be at holding on until a donor turns up. I’m not ready to lose her yet,” he added, his voice cracking.
“Oh, Darren,” she whispered, filled with compassion and sadness for both son and mother—two people who had been a big part of her life in the past.
“Please, Bren. We only need to pretend while we’re around her. That’s not too much to ask, is it?”
Brenna dropped her head back against the headrest and squeezed her eyes shut, unsure of what to do. “I need time to think about this, Darren. And I need to talk to Ash first.”
“Ash? Amanda’s brother Ash?”
“Yes. He’s my boyfriend.”
Darren snorted in disbelief. “He finally told you, did he?”
She stared at Darren. “You knew too?”
“Yeah.”
“You didn’t tell me,” she murmured, surprised that even Darren had noticed.
Darren snickered. “You know full well that Ash and I don’t get along, Bren. Besides, I was going out with you then. Why would I point out to you that Ash fancied you? It was funny how you never noticed, though.”
She flushed, her heart going out to Ash again. “Well, I have to talk to him about this first. I’m having lunch with him tomorrow. I’ll tell him then.”
Darren grasped her hand. “Bren, for me this is a matter of life and death. Sometimes Mum says that it wouldn’t be so bad if she died soon, because then she’d be with Dad and she wouldn’t be a burden to me and the rest of the family. When she’s in those moods she refuses to eat. I really need your help with this, Bren. For Mum. Please.”
She nodded, hearing the desperation and helplessness in Darren’s voice. Ash would understand, wouldn’t he?
*****
“What?”
“You should have seen Patty, Ash,” Brenna said, pleading with her eyes for Ash to understand. “She looked really ill. But she was so pleased to see me. Darren said that most of the time she feels anxious and depressed. That’s not good when someone’s trying to prepare for a major operation, is it? And you know how close I used to be to her. Making her feel happy is the only way I know how to help her.”
Ash stared at her with a pained expression before rubbing his face.
Brenna’s heart sank. She had hoped that Ash would wholeheartedly agree with her arrangement with Darren. But instead he was upset. “Ash,” she whispered, willing him to see it from her point of view.
“What exactly does pretending to be Darren’s girlfriend again entail?”
“Nothing much! Sometimes I’ll go with Darren to Patty’s. Then we’ll have lunch or dinner with her and spend a bit of time chatting, or maybe watching a DVD or something. That’s it really. It’s only my time that’s involved.”
“What about... kissing and all that?” he asked with a big scowl on his face.
“No. No kissing,” she said definitively. “The most we’ll do is hold hands when we need to—like when she watches us leave the house.”
“Wouldn’t it seem strange if you don’t kiss? You guys didn’t have a problem being lovey-dovey around people before,” Ash said, almost pouting.
She reached for his leg under the table and gave it a comforting rub.
“We only acted like that in front of friends. We were different in front of parents. We almost never kissed in front of our folks.”
Ash was silent for a long moment.
“Do what you feel is right, Bren,” he finally said.
“We’re only gonna be pretending,” she reminded him gently. “And only while we’re around Patty.”
Ash nodded and she let out a little sigh of relief.
“Do you want to have dinner tonight?” she asked, keen to steer the conversation to something else.
“I can’t,” he answered. “I’m going through a patient case file tonight with a group of colleagues. Then tomorrow night, Mum wants me and Amanda to have dinner with her new boyfriend. She doesn’t want to make it look like a big deal, so she asked that only me and Amanda go. Then on Saturday night, I have a quarterly meeting with my fellow association board members.”
“So I won’t see you again for a few days?” she asked, more than disappointed.
“We can still see each other on Saturday day. I can pick you up early and we can do whatever you want. We can even start sorting through those boxes in my garage, if you like.”
“Oh, uh, I can’t,” she said, flushing a little. “Patty’s expecting me to turn up for lunch at her place. It’s her sister’s birthday—the one who’s looking after her full time.”
“Right,” Ash said tightly, frowning at his plate.
“What about Sunday?” she asked.
“I’m not sure,” he answered, his tone flat. “Depends on what comes up at the board meeting on Saturday night. I’m fully booked with patients for next week, so I might have to work on a few things on Sunday. I’ll let you know.”
“Okay. Just don’t overwork yourself,” she said.
Ash’s lips curved, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Oh, damn. She could tell he was trying not to look hurt, but he clearly was.
“Ash, please try to understand,” she said, desperate for him to be okay with her decision.
“I do understand, Bren,” he said softly, squeezing her hand. This time his smile was genuine, but oh, she wished there wasn’t a tinge of sadness in it.
*****
Brenna’s bottom lip jutted out when her phone indicated there were still no messages from Ash. How had his association board meeting gone last night? Did he have to do some work today? He’d said he’d let her know.
She hoped he wasn’t upset anymore. It bothered her that she was doing something that Ash wasn’t happy with. But she felt she was doing the right thing for Patty—as well as for Darren, who also needed her support.
Patty had had a rather tough day yesterday at Sally’s birthday lunch. The poor woman had had to lie down, complaining of a general feeling of discomfort.
Patty had called her to her room and told her again how grateful and relieved she was that Brenna and her son were back together. Patty had said that part of her stress was worrying about how Darren was coping, and how lighthearted she now felt that Brenna was there for him.
Guilt had hit Brenna as she nodded at Patty’s misapprehensions. But she’d pushed it away, believing that her guilt was far outweighed by the fact that she was lifting the spirits of someone who desperately needed it. When Patty was strong enough physically and emotionally, she’d tell her the truth. She could only pray it wouldn’t be too long before Patty got to that stage.
Her phone rang in her hand and her heart jumped. But it wasn’t Ash. It was Darren. Worry washed over her.
“Darren? Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Hey, Bren. Yeah, everything’s cool.”
She heaved a sigh of relief.
“Could I could pop in for a few minutes? Mum wants me to give you something.”
“Oh, you guys don’t have to give me anything.”
“You know my mother, Brenna,” Darren said with a laugh. “I’m five minutes away from your place, okay?”
“Okay,” she said resignedly.
*
“What’s all this?” Brenna asked in disbelief as she opened the door to Darren, who was carrying a big bunch of flowers on one arm and a bag on the other.
“She was very specific,” Darren said dryly as he walked into her apartment. “A bunch of gerberas and lilies, and some brand new food storage stuff that she thinks you’d like.”
Brenna shook her head in dismay. “This is so wrong,” she lamented.
“What is?” Darren asked, placing the items on a table.
“Those,” she said, gesturing towards the stuff he brought.
“These are thank-you gifts, Bren. There’s nothing wrong with them.”
“But she’s giving these to me because she thinks I’m with you!”
“No. She’s giving them to you because she’s grateful you’re around.”
“Darren, you know it’s more than just that.”
Darren let out a loud sigh. “It probably should bother me that we’re lying to her, but it’s not. She’s probably hoping for a wedding and grandchildren, and if that’s the case, they’re the only things that are keeping her interested in life. Bren, I’d lie to her every day if it means she wouldn’t give up the fight. You understand where I’m coming from, don’t you?”
Compassion hit Brenna again like a ton of bricks and she nodded. Put like that, she could empathise with Darren about keeping up the pretense.
“I know this is a big ask, Bren,” Darren continued, his voice softer. “You don’t know how much I appreciate you doing this.”
“I care about her too, Darren. She’s been—”
She stopped talking when her phone rang. Ash! She rushed to answer it.
“Hi,” she said, just as Darren’s phone rang loudly.
“Hi,” Ash said. “Is that another phone ringing?”
“Yeah. It’s Darren’s,” she said a tad nervously, cursing bad timing. “He's here to drop some things that Patty wanted me to have.”
Silence.
“Ash?”
“Are you free at all today?” he finally asked.
“Yes.” she said eagerly.
“Can I come over?”
“Of course.”
“What time?”
“Anytime you want.”
“In about forty minutes or so?”
“Sounds good.”
“I’ll see you soon. Bye.”
Brenna’s heart pinched at the flatness of Ash’s voice.
“Bren, was that Ash?” Darren asked.
“Yeah. He’ll be here in about forty minutes,” she said absently.
“Everything okay?”
She paused, trying to find the right words. “Ash understands what you and your mum are going through, Darren. That’s why he’s okay with us pretending to be a couple. But he’s not exactly happy about it, and I’m sure you can understand why.”
Darren stared at her. “If he asked you to stop our pretense, would you?”
“I hope it doesn’t come to that. Because I honestly wouldn’t know what to do. I have to consider his feelings, too. I’ve already hurt him enough in the past.”
Darren’s face clouded, but he gave her a small smile.
“Hey, you know how we took a video of Mum’s fiftieth birthday party?” he asked.
“Uh-huh,” she answered, surprised by his sudden change of topic.
“That was Mum who rang. She asked if you have your DVD copy of it, because she couldn’t find hers. All of a sudden she wants to watch it today and she wants me to bring it over.”
“I think I have it here somewhere,” she mused, frowning as she tried to remember where she could have kept it. “I do have it saved in my computer. I could email it.”
Darren laughed. “Come on, Bren. You know Mum’s technologically challenged. She wants to watch it using the old DVD player attached to her TV.”
“Okay, let me look for it.”
“It’s a good sign, isn’t it?” Darren asked hopefully. “That’s she’s really getting interested in things again?”
She smiled. “Yes, I think it’s a good sign.”
After many minutes of searching for the DVD, Brenna had given up looking. “Maybe we should just make another copy,” she suggested. “I have some blank discs lying around.”
“Good idea.”
By the time Darren was ready to leave, half an hour had gone by. She was relieved Darren would be gone by the time Ash arrived. She didn’t think Ash would appreciate Darren hanging around after she’d told him Darren was merely dropping a few things.
She was nervous about seeing Ash today. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going very wrong.