I shook my head, and before I could give in and be the old Tate who reacted instead of rising above it, proving him right, I left. Slipping through the doors, back through the house, and out the front door.
Why did he still get to me? Why did I still . . .
I couldn’t finish the thought. Tears pricked the backs of my eyes as I dug for my keys, not caring that I was leaving Ben. The day was ruined now, anyway, even if he was crazy enough to still want to spend time with me.
I groaned, feeling my cell phone vibrate against my ass. I was tempted to ignore it, but I dug it out anyway.
She said yes!
I narrowed my eyes, studying my father’s text. And then closed them, feeling the first tears fall as my chest shook.
Not a damn thing has changed.
Everything changes.
Chapter 9
Jared
The clay of the thumbprint charm was as smooth as water as I ground it between my thumb and index finger. The tattered green ribbon had frayed along the edges after years of being handled, twisted, and abused.
But nothing had changed. It was still loved.
The green still held the same vibrant shade as the tree between our windows, and all of the small lines and curves of her tiny fingerprint had survived.
Weathered but still solid. Fragile but unbreakable.
I lifted the beer to my mouth, emptying the bottle and wishing I’d brought another.
Sitting in Madoc’s empty and dark theater room, “Breath” by Breaking Benjamin playing throughout the house, I looked ahead at the black television screen—or screens, actually—seeing my own reflection staring back at me. And for the first time in two years, hating what I saw.
I was that guy again. The one who made her cry in high school. The one who broke her heart and stopped being her friend. The one who was a loser.
I was better than this. Why did I get in her face? Why did I always try to back her into a wall?
“Jared.” My mother’s voice fell behind me, and I blinked, coming out of my thoughts.
I slipped my empty bottle into the cup holder on the recliner and stood up, grabbing my jacket and sliding my arms into it.
“I thought you’d grown up,” she said, sounding far from disappointed. She must’ve witnessed what happened with Tate. And with her stern eyes and tight lips, she was pissed.
I looked away, hardening my armor. “One of the many things I love about you, Mother, is that you’re absolutely clueless as to who I am.”
Her chin instantly lifted, and hurt flashed in her eyes, even though she tried to hide it.
I looked away, shame heating my skin. She didn’t show her anger, but she couldn’t hide the pain in her eyes. It’s not like my mom was clueless. She knew that she had burned some bridges with me.
And I almost always reminded her.
Her hand went to her stomach, and I looked down and exhaled, seeing her small frame carrying her new start.
“I’m sorry,” I said, barely able to meet her eyes.
“So is that going to be a recurring thing?”
“What?” I asked. “Fighting with Tate?”
“Apologizing,” she shot back.
Yeah, I did that a lot, too.
“You’re not a child anymore,” she scolded. “You have to start being the man you want your sons to be.”
I shot my eyes up. Sons.
She knew how to make a point, didn’t she?
“You’ve always bullied her.” She sighed and took a seat. “Always. You might’ve been nicer about it when you were little, but all you had to do, even when you were eleven”—she smiled—“was hook an arm around her neck and lead her where you wanted her to go. And she always followed.”
An image of eleven-year-old Tate riding on my handlebars as I had the bright idea to race up a ramp and try to fly through the air popped into my head. I’d broken a finger, and she’d needed six stitches.
“But you always protected her, too,” she pointed out. “You jumped in front of her, shielding her from a fight or from danger.”
I slid my hands into my pockets and watched her calm eyes look at me with love.
“But she was a girl then, Jared, and she’s a woman now,” she stated matter-of-factly, her tone growing harder. “A man who stands in front of a woman does nothing more than block her view. She needs a man standing next to her, so grow up.”
I stopped breathing, feeling as if I’d just been slapped in the face. My mom was never motherly. And she certainly had no business giving others advice.
But fuck me, she was sounding kind of . . . smart, actually.
Tate didn’t need to be handled. She was already so strong on her own, as she proved time and again. She needed someone to share things with. Someone to make her life better, not worse. Someone she could trust. Like a friend.
I used to be her friend. Whatever happened to that guy?
I shot my mother a look, never giving away that she’d gotten to me, and walked past her, up the stairs of the home theater.
“And Jared?” my mother called, and I stopped and turned my head back toward her.
“Her father is getting married,” she announced. “He called tonight to give me a heads-up to keep an eye on her.” And then she took a breath and looked at me pointedly. “Not that you’re ever aware of anyone else’s feelings but your own, but back off, okay? I’m sure she’s a little tender right now.”
James was getting married?
I turned around slowly as I searched my head for what that meant. He was selling the house. Tate was going to Stanford. He’d have a new wife when she came home for visits.
And where would her home be? What—or who—was the one thing, solid and constant, that she could count on?
***
I pushed open the fancy black curtains in my old bedroom in my old house—no doubt an upgrade Juliet had made once she and Jax took over the room after I’d moved out. Since they were still at Madoc’s party, I had the place to myself, probably all night.