My agent, Laurie Bernstein, from Side by Side Literary Productions, Inc., found me to ask if I might want to publish a book at a time when I was trying to find the right literary agent for the book I was writing. Her appearance on the scene was eerily prescient. After our first conversation, I knew that Laurie was the right person to safeguard my interests and help me realize my vision. To that end she assumed more roles than I can name. But I am especially grateful for her vision and guidance in helping develop a book proposal that made such a difference in all that would follow, and for steering me to Laura and to Crown Publishers. She’s my champion and defender, and I thank her for her hard work and deft hand throughout the writing and publication process.
I thank Andrew Solomon for so many things. Before we met, I heard him speak at a mental health event in Denver and was so inspired by his message that I immediately purchased and read his book The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression. When Andrew later asked if he could interview Tom and me for a book that would eventually become Far From the Tree, I didn’t hesitate to accept the offer (and encourage Tom to participate). In the years that followed, I have appreciated every moment spent with Andrew, not only because he is witty, articulate, sensitive, and brilliant, but because he has encouraged and supported my desire to publish from the moment we met. He read not only excerpts but complete drafts of my manuscript at various stages in its development. His comments were invaluable. And ultimately, I am grateful for his willingness to join me at the finish line by contributing the Introduction to this book. I am very honored to know him and perpetually grateful for his generosity.
My appreciation for my partners at Crown Publishers could fill pages. I thank this extraordinary team for gently walking me along the path to publication. There is not space to list everyone by name, but I am sincerely grateful to everyone who contributed their excellence and support. Special thanks go to my editor, Roger Scholl, for his superb editorial eye, his great sensitivity, and his willingness to champion this book from day one. Thanks also to his wonderful assistant, Dannalie Diaz. Publisher Molly Stern’s brilliance and heartfelt enthusiasm for the project and its mission have been breathtaking. My publicity team far exceeded any hopes I could have had for the experience of publishing. Working with Deputy Publisher David Drake, Director of Publicity Carisa Hays, and Associate Publisher Annsley Rosner has been a gift and a joy. I hope they know how grateful I am for their guidance and friendship. Thank you as well to Assistant Marketing Director Sarah Pekdemir. And many thanks to Crown Senior Production Editor Terry Deal, copy editor Lawrence Krauser, Director of Interior Design Elizabeth Rendfleisch, to Creative Director Chris Brand for designing the extraordinary cover for A Mother’s Reckoning, and to Subrights Director Lance Fitzgerald, for expanding the book’s reach around the world. And last but not least, my heartfelt thanks to Maya Mavjee, President of the Crown Publishing Group, for her faith in me and for helping me to get the message of the book out to the reading public.
Many thanks go to Dave Cullen for talking with me about his research on the Columbine tragedy, and for helping me recount specifics of the incident. He generously searched through piles of material to fact-check references when I needed his help with accuracy.
For pointing me in the right direction when I began my research, and for reading the finished manuscript to offer input and recommendations, I thank Dr. Christine Moutier, Chief Medical Officer, and Robert Gebbia, Chief Executive Officer, with the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (AFSP). Their willingness to share their expertise on the topics of suicide and mental health was an invaluable contribution.
I thank many additional subject matter experts for their willingness to be interviewed, to share resources, and to connect me with others who could answer specific questions. Whether or not their research related directly to the Columbine tragedy, all of these individuals helped me understand the complexities of brain health and the challenges of trying to prevent violence toward self or others. By making themselves available, they provided answers to some of the mysteries I had been struggling to comprehend for years. Many thanks go to Dr. Victoria Arango, Dr. Brad Bushman, Dr. Dewey Cornell, Dr. Dwayne Fuselier, Dr. Sidra Goldman-Mellor, Dr. James Hawdon, Dr. Thomas Joiner, Dr. Kent Kiehl, Dr. Peter Langman, Dr. Adam Lankford, Dr. J. Reid Meloy, Dr. Terrie Moffit, Dr. Katherine Newman, Dr. Debra Niehoff, Dr. Matthew Nock, Dr. Frank Ochberg, Dr. Mary Ellen O’Toole, Dr. Adrian Raine, Dr. Marisa Randazzo, and Dr. Jeremy Richman. I am also grateful to Dr. Marguerite Moritz and Dr. Zeynep Tufecki for their input on the importance of appropriate media response to high-profile incidents of violence.
Many thanks go to my attorneys, Gary Lozow and Frank Patterson, not only for their ongoing care during the harrowing years after the tragedy, but also for allowing me to interview them for the book. Our conversations helped me recount some of the legal aspects of what we had endured together.
I am deeply grateful to Nate for being a dear friend to Dylan, and for continuing to be Dylan’s friend and ours in the years since Dylan’s death. He made it possible for me to vicariously enjoy many of the happy times they shared. For Nate’s willingness to relive the past with me, and for his desire to do whatever he could to help with the book, I am truly thankful.
With humble gratitude, I thank many dear friends, neighbors, colleagues, and fellow survivors of suicide loss for their ongoing kindness and support. There are too many individuals and too many instances to cite, but in myriad ways, they gave me the sustenance to keep going when I didn’t think I could.
I thank my brother and sister for shoring me up and watching over me like angels during a long and difficult journey. The constancy of their devotion is the wind beneath my wings.
Finally, and most important, I thank Byron and Tom for not opposing or hindering my efforts to publish, despite their discomfort with the idea. Though they both made it clear that they did not want to churn up difficult memories, sacrifice their privacy, or focus on a time in their lives they would rather forget, they honored my determination to do what I felt was necessary. For this I will always be grateful. I thank them both for their love, courage, and understanding.
Byron, your love and support are the greatest blessings in my life. Without them, I would not have had the strength to write this book. And Tom, I will always treasure our friendship, which has weathered so much and will always endure.