“Yes, fairy girl,” Trollbella said with a scowl. “And I expect all the maps to be changed at once! I’ve always wanted to live near the water and the Enchantress unintentionally made that dream come true. Now you must come aboard my boat so I can properly embrace my Butterboy.”
Lester swam to the side of the boat and Alex and Conner were helped aboard by two of the troll rowers. Trollbella leaped onto Conner like a spider monkey hugging a tree and almost knocked both of them into the water. He figured it would take her a while to let him go but she detached much sooner than he was expecting. She looked up at him and her big eyes were full of concern rather than the usual lust. Something was very different about Trollbella but the twins were too pressed for time to find out what.
“Look, Trollbella,” Conner said. “We’ve come to talk to you. Something very bad has happened and we need your help.”
Trollbella put both of her hands on her hips. “It puts a strain on our relationship when you only come to me to share devastating news, Butterboy,” she said. “Just once I wish you’d bring flowers or chocolates instead.”
“For the millionth time, we don’t have a relationship!” Conner said.
“Yes, I know our love is too strong for childish terms,” she said. “Our love is bottomless… it’s forever… it’s indestructible.…” The troll queen suddenly burst into tears.
“Trollbella, what’s the matter with you?” Alex asked.
“There is something my Butterboy must know before we speak any further,” Trollbella said. “While you were gone, I found someone else.”
“What?” the twins said together. This was the last thing they had expected to come out of the troll queen’s mouth.
Trollbella’s eyes darted around the boat guiltily and she turned away from them—what she had to confess was too painful to say while looking them in the eyes. “I knew after you disappeared into another dimension forever it would be challenging to keep our love alive. I tried to stay faithful to you for as long as I could and it was the hardest six days of my life. I was weak without you, Butterboy, and my heart strayed. I couldn’t bear the thought of being alone forever so I gave my heart to someone else.”
Alex and Conner exchanged the same dumbfounded look. With everything else going on at the moment, Conner was surprised by how much relief he felt upon hearing this.
“I always thought that one day if the impossible should happen and you returned to me I could easily give my heart back to you, but now seeing you in front of me, I realize I was mistaken,” Trollbella said. “Once I’ve invested my love in someone I cannot get my love back unless I know it’s a dead end, and I’m afraid I’ve planned a long, joyous road with my new love.”
“Okay, I’ve got to know, who is this poor guy?” Conner couldn’t help but ask.
“His name is Gator, and he commands my army as well as my heart,” Trollbella said. She dreamily looked to the back of her boat and waved at the small troll in the horned helmet. Gator waved back uncomfortably—apparently reciprocation wasn’t something Trollbella looked for in a relationship.
“Congratulations,” Conner said to them both.
“But I’ve failed you, Butterboy!” Trollbella said, and she fell to her knees. “I promised myself our love would be eternal and I’ve broken that vow! You’ll never love anyone else as much as you’ve loved me! I feel so terrible to leave you alone in this cruel world! Please tell me if there is anything I can do to make it up to you!”
Alex nudged Conner and cleared her throat. This was their chance.
“I don’t know,” Conner said, and gave his best heartbroken performance. “I’m in shock, complete shock. My heart feels like it’s been ripped out of my chest, trampled by a stampede of wolves, and chewed up by an ogre. I’m going to need some time to get over this—”
“But there is something you could do for him that would make him feel much better in the meantime,” Alex said, trying to speed things up.
“Oh yes, Butterboy!” Trollbella groveled at his feet. “I’d do anything to ease your broken heart! Please, the guilt is too much to bear! Just say the word!”
“Well…,” Conner said melodramatically. “If you’re serious about healing my emotional wounds, mending the pieces of my heart, and sewing the seams of my soul… access to your army would help me greatly.”
“You want my army?” Trollbella asked. She looked up at him questioningly. Even her Butterboy might have overstepped his boundaries with this request.
“Yes, but there’s an even bigger reason why we need it,” Conner said.
“Trollbella, an army of thousands of men has invaded this world and they plan on taking over—” Alex tried to explain, but Trollbella interrupted her.
“Hush, fairy girl!” the troll queen demanded. “This has nothing to do with you. Keep your wand out of our business!”
Alex rolled her eyes and gestured to her brother to explain the rest. Conner quickly told her about the Grande Armée and how they needed the troblins’ help to stop them. His explanation may not have captivated the troll queen but it sparked the interest of all the other creatures around.
“I’ll go!” said one of the rowing goblins.
“That sounds terrific!” an eavesdropping troll said from one of the forts nearby.
“I’m not even in the army but I’ll help you fight!” said a desperate goblin.
“Me too!” said another troll.
The twins were so excited to see their enthusiasm. Life on a floating city must have been really dull if the idea of war sounded intriguing.
Trollbella squinted and crossed her arms as she thought about it. “But still, an army in exchange for a broken heart seems like a pretty steep deal,” she said.
Without missing a beat, Conner clutched his chest and fell to the deck in pain. “Oh my broken heart! It hurts so much! Oh the pain, the miserable pain!” he screamed.
“Your heart is on the other side of your chest, Conner,” Alex whispered down at him and he quickly made the correction.
Tears formed in Trollbella’s eyes at the sight of her Butterboy in pain she had caused him. “Oh no, Butterboy!” she said, and rushed to his side. “If my army will help ease your pain, then my army you shall have!”
Conner quickly sat up, completely fine. “Thank goodness,” he said. “I really appreciate it! Now we need to gather up your army and fill them in on our plan as soon as possible.”
Queen Trollbella got to her feet to address the rowers aboard her boat. “Take us to the army fort at once, troblins!” she ordered. “My Butterboy needs to speak with our army and start his healing process.”
The troll and goblin rowers turned the boat completely around and headed in the direction of the army float. Alex gestured for Lester to follow the boat, and helped Conner to his feet.
“Nice going,” she whispered in his ear.
“Thanks,” Conner said, but his face fell into a pout.
“What’s wrong?” she said. “We recruited the troblin army and it was easier than either of us expected!”
“I know,” Conner said sadly. “I just can’t believe Trollbella picked that troll over me.”