A Grimm Warning

“Wonderful to meet you all,” Alex said. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

 

“Not at all,” Red said. “We’re just waiting for Charlie to arrive before we begin our weekly open-house meeting. I’m sure you saw all the townspeople lined up—they love coming to the House of Progress and voicing their concerns. I’ve become very good at figuring out ways to help the people; it’s like a little game.”

 

Just then they heard footsteps and saw Froggy entering the room carrying a large stack of papers. “Good afternoon, everyone,” he kindly greeted the representatives. “And hello, Alex! I wasn’t expecting to see you—huuuh!”

 

Clawdius tackled Froggy as soon as he came into the room. This was just how the wolf seemed to greet people. All of Froggy’s papers flew into the air.

 

“Clawdius, I just saw you not twenty minutes ago—you have to stop this madness,” Froggy grunted, pushing the wolf off him. “We need to start chaining him down!”

 

“I tried that but he ate through the chain.” Red shrugged. “Clawdius, come here, boy! Come to Mommy!”

 

Clawdius ran to Red’s side and happily plopped his big head in her lap. Froggy collected his papers but they were all disorganized now.

 

“Come sit by me, Alex,” Red said, and patted the armrest of her throne. “We have so much to talk about!”

 

“Are you sure it’s all right to visit during the open-house meeting?” Alex asked, taking a seat.

 

“Oh, it’s more than fine,” Red assured her. “Charlie leads the meetings while I supervise. They’ll get my attention if they need me.”

 

Froggy took his place at the front of the room and the meeting began. “Forgive me but the open-house forms you filled out prior to arriving are a little jumbled,” he apologized to the townspeople. “So when it’s your turn I’ll need you to step forward and state your name and the nature of the pressing matter that you’d like us to deal with.”

 

One by one, the townspeople stepped forward and told Froggy and the representatives about their dilemmas. Froggy and the representatives talked about the matter among themselves and then presented the villager with the best solution possible. It was a very nice process for Alex to witness; Froggy and the representatives genuinely seemed passionate about helping the townspeople.

 

“Wonderful, everything is going just splendidly,” Red said, and then allowed Alex to become her sole focus. “Let’s talk about your date this evening—have you picked out an outfit to wear? If not, I have a little pink dress somewhere in one of my closets that would look divine on you.”

 

“I was thinking I would just wear this,” Alex said, and gestured to the sparkling dress she wore every day. “I think he’d appreciate it if I just dressed as myself.”

 

“Be careful of that,” Red warned her. “Some of the best advice Granny ever gave me was never to be myself when meeting someone for the first time—you don’t want to scare them away.”

 

Alex thought about this for a moment. She was pretty sure Granny had meant that as advice for Red personally, not in general.

 

“He’s a farmer’s son,” Alex said. “I’m afraid doing or saying anything over-the-top may scare him away just as easily. I’d rather he feels comfortable with me than intimidated by me.”

 

“That may be, but you shouldn’t make him feel too good about himself on the first date,” Red instructed. “Men must always think they’re inferior to you, otherwise they don’t leave you any room to train them.”

 

Froggy interrupted their conversation momentarily. “Darling, this man is from the south part of town,” he said about the townsman standing in the middle of the room. “Apparently the south path has become so bumpy it’s ruining all the carts that travel on it. They need a new path to be paved.”

 

“Great, then pave a new one,” Red said with a big smile.

 

“Unfortunately, they don’t have the funds for it and the kingdom’s pockets will be shallow until the new wall is built,” Froggy explained. “What should the representatives and I suggest?”

 

Red knew just the thing. She took the diamond bracelet off her left wrist and tossed it to the man from the South Village. “Here, sell this and use the money to pave a new path; it should be more than enough.”

 

The man was stunned the queen would give him something so valuable. Tears came to his eyes. “Thank you, Your Majesty! Thank you so kindly!” he said on his way out the door.

 

“You’re very welcome!” Red said, then turned quickly back to Alex. “So where are you and Rook going on a walk to?”

 

“I’m not sure,” Alex said. “I was just planning on following him.”

 

Red shook her head. “Whatever you do, do not let him lead the walk,” she said. “Men are natural-born leaders and it’s our job as women to rid them of that animalistic trait. If you let him lead the first walk, soon he’ll be leading the whole relationship.”

 

“So is it a good sign if he wants me to lead the walk?” Alex asked.

 

“No, that’s even worse!” Red said. “That means he’s got no confidence and expects you to do all the work and hold his hand the rest of his life. You’re way too young for that, Alex.”

 

Alex scrunched her forehead. Red was only making matters more confusing for her. “Do you really believe this advice, Red?” she asked.

 

“Oh, none of this stuff pertains to me,” Red said. “I’m just looking out for you.”

 

“Darling,” Froggy interrupted again. “This woman is from the east part of town. She’s a baker whose husband died a few years ago. She makes a decent living, but not enough to take care of her four children on her own.”

 

Tears were streaming down the poor baker’s face. She was clearly ashamed to be standing before them asking for help.

 

“There, there,” Red said sympathetically. “There is no reason to cry! We all need a helping hand every now and then—especially me. I’m useless without my staff.”

 

The queen scanned the dozen or so remaining townspeople in the line. She saw a frail and sad-looking man holding a pitchfork in the very back. “Excuse me, sir, are you a farmer?” she asked him.

 

The man was shocked his queen was speaking to him directly. “Yes, Your Majesty,” he said with a quick bow.

 

“Let me guess, you’re here because you can no longer afford to feed your family, am I correct?” Red asked.

 

“Why, yes, Your Majesty,” he said, amazed she could tell so easily.

 

“Oh wonderful,” Red said happily. Everyone in the room gave her a strange look. “Oh, I didn’t mean that was wonderful, I meant it’s wonderful that you’re a farmer because I believe you and this baker can help each other out. Do you have cows on your farm?”

 

The farmer nodded. “Yes, I have six cows,” he said.

 

“Terrific.” Red then looked back to the baker. “I assume a financial burden for you is the cost of milk? Am I right?”

 

“Yes, Your Majesty,” the tearful baker admitted.

 

“Then that’s solved,” Red said with a gleeful clap. “The farmer will supply the baker with as much milk as she needs and in return she will provide food for his family. Does that work for everyone?”

 

The farmer and the baker looked at each other and smiled; Queen Red had given them both a solution. Froggy and Alex exchanged a smile of their own—Red may have been clueless most of the time but when she was good she was good.

 

Froggy continued the open-house meeting and Red continued chatting with Alex.

 

“Now, if he wants to go on a second walk with you, you must act like you’re too busy,” Red said.

 

“Why?” Alex asked.

 

“To keep him grateful for your company,” Red said as if it was obvious.

 

A hurried set of footsteps echoed through the room. A woman was causing quite a commotion as she entered, pushing past all the townspeople waiting in line. It had been such a pleasant day until this; the disturbance caught everyone’s attention, especially Red’s.

 

“Excuse me, you have to wait your turn,” Froggy politely told the woman.

 

“I didn’t come here to ask for any favors,” the woman said as she stepped before them. “I’ve come here to make an announcement.”

 

She was a very beautiful and determined young woman, who seemed to be about the same age as Red. She had pale skin, blue eyes, and dark hair that was tucked underneath a yellow bonnet. She wore a matching yellow ruffled dress with a blue sash and carried a white shepherd’s staff. She was the most stylish shepherdess Alex had ever laid eyes on.

 

“Who are you?” Froggy asked her. He was fairly new to the Red Riding Hood Kingdom and didn’t recognize her.

 

“I’m Little Bo Peep, owner of the Bo Peep Family Farms,” she declared.

 

A hush fell over the room. Little Bo Peep was a very powerful and respected member of the community. It was only on rare occasions that she was seen outside her farms. The townspeople and representatives knew there must be a very important reason she had come to the House of Progress today.

 

Queen Red eyed her up and down, and left to right. She refused to be intimidated by anyone in her own house. “Thank you for joining us, Little Bo,” she said. “What brings you to the House of Progress today?”

 

Little Bo smiled. “To put it simply, I’ve come here before you today to challenge Queen Red for the throne of the Red Riding Hood Kingdom.”

 

Everyone gasped. Never in the history of the Red Riding Hood Kingdom had someone so openly disrespected the queen. Little Bo smiled snidely at their reaction.

 

At this bold declaration, Red stood up from her throne. “How dare you,” she said coldly. “You think you can just walk into my House of Progress and threaten the throne of my kingdom? You’re lucky I don’t have you immediately locked up!”

 

“You think this is your kingdom?” Little Bo said without a trace of fear. “Then you’re mistaken, Your Majesty. It may have your name on it but this kingdom belongs to the people. The sole purpose of the C.R.A.W.L. Revolution was to free ourselves from the Evil Queen, who was in power in the Northern Kingdom at the time. Now look at us, a decade and a half later we’re standing in one of the many shrines to another self-obsessed queen. Well, I’m sick of it and I’m not alone.”

 

She reached into the pocket of her dress and removed a scroll that she handed to Froggy.

 

“This is a petition signed by a hundred other citizens of the kingdom who agree it’s time for a regime change,” Little Bo said. “They also have stated that I am their chosen candidate for a new sovereign. We elected a queen before, we can elect a queen again.”

 

“This is preposterous,” Froggy said.

 

“It’s the will of the people, sir,” Little Bo corrected. “Are you going to ignore it—in the House of Progress of all places?”

 

Froggy looked over the list of names and shared it with the representatives.

 

“You’re not actually humoring her, are you?” Red yelled, outraged that they would even read such a thing.

 

“The Little Peep girl has a point, dear,” Granny said.

 

“Granny, whose side are you on?” Red asked in shock.

 

“I’ll always be on your side, dear,” Granny said. “But it’s the people who gave you your throne, so if the people want to give it to someone else now, they have the right to do so.”

 

All the other representatives seemed to agree with her; even the Three Blind Mice nodded along and they couldn’t read the names on the scroll.

 

“What makes you think you’re qualified to lead this country?” Red asked Little Bo.

 

“My farms make up over seventy percent of the kingdom and produce over eighty percent of the goods we trade with other kingdoms,” Little Bo proclaimed. “Only for you to take ninety percent of those profits and use it to build castles and statues of yourself.”

 

Red’s nostrils flared. “Which keeps many builders and artists employed throughout the kingdom,” she said in defense.

 

“Yes, but as you can see, there are no builders or artists seeking aid in this room,” Little Bo pointed out. “I believe there is a more responsible way this kingdom can be managed that will benefit everyone equally—and I believe I am the woman to do it.”

 

The townspeople and representatives began whispering among themselves. Red could sense some of them were starting to agree with Bo Peep.

 

“So what do you want, Little Bo?” Red said, crossing her arms. “You can’t just waltz in here and demand to be queen.”

 

Sir BaaBaa raised a hoof to join the conversation. “We could have another election.”

 

Red was staring daggers at him. “Oh how typical, the sheep wants Little Bo Peep to run for queen. That’s partisanship if I ever saw it.”

 

“I think that’s a good idea,” Granny said. “An election would give the people of this kingdom a way to express their will.”

 

“And what if I don’t allow an election?” Red said. “I’m still the queen, after all. The last time I checked, my word was still the law.”

 

Little Bo stepped even closer to her throne. “Then you would be proving to your kingdom that you are no different from the Evil Queen, and the next revolution that breaks out will be against you.”

 

The statement was meant to scare Red and it worked. “So be it,” Red said. “We’ll humor this shepherdess with a little election. But if I recall, Little Bo, you have a reputation of not being able to find your own sheep, so I doubt you’ll be able to find support that rivals mine. I was elected queen after the C.R.A.W.L. Revolution and I will be elected queen again.”

 

“Then I’ll see you at the polls, Your Majesty,” Little Bo said with a coy smile. She turned on her heel and promptly left the House of Progress.

 

Red reseated herself on the throne. Her cheeks were bright pink and a concerned scowl was frozen on her face. Alex had never seen her look so distraught. The thought of losing her throne had always been Red’s greatest fear—but the idea that she might lose it to the people’s will was obviously almost unbearable to her.

 

Alex couldn’t imagine Red as anything but a queen. She put a hand on her friend’s shoulder, wishing she had words to comfort her with.

 

Froggy ran up to the throne and kneeled at her side. “Are you all right, my dear?”

 

“Splendid, just splendid,” Red said. She stared at the floor, quietly plotting her next move. “If it’s an election that sheepherder wants, it’s an election she’ll get.”

 

 

 

 

 

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