CHAPTER SIX
QUEEN RED’S HOUSE OF PROGRESS
The Fairy Inaugural Ball was just a day away but it was only one of the major things occupying Alex’s mind. As soon as she’d agreed to go on a walk with Rook, she found herself juggling two fixations at the same time. One minute she was obsessing about what to wear and how to behave at the ball, and the next she was daydreaming about how wonderful or tragic her walk might be. It was an exhausting and constant balancing act between the two worries.
On the one hand she was thankful to have two subjects on her mind, as each distracted her from the other; on the other hand Alex would have given anything just to clear her mind for a moment or two. Alex thought the best way to deal with the stress of the two pending events would be to get away from reminders of both, so she happily took Red’s offer to meet the morning after Jack and Goldilocks’s wedding.
It was a bright sunny morning when Alex and Cornelius journeyed into the Red Riding Hood Kingdom. They traveled northwest, around the Troll and Goblin Territory—or Troblin Territory as it was now called—and soon the tiny kingdom came into view.
A high wall was being constructed around the kingdom. Dozens and dozens of stonemasons worked tirelessly on it, building it up brick by brick. From the looks of it, the new wall would be exactly like the old one, which the Enchantress had eliminated.
Alex and Cornelius had no trouble at all crossing into the kingdom. Many of the guards at the south gate even bowed to Alex, recognizing her as an acquaintance of the queen. Cornelius regally trotted through the rural hills of Bo Peep Family Farms, showing off for all the livestock they passed, and went to the town in the center of the kingdom, where Queen Red’s castle stood.
The town was as delightful as when Alex saw it for the first time with her brother. It was a friendly and picturesque village with many shops, barns, houses, and landmarks. A baker stood outside his shop sharing trays of free samples with the townspeople moving past. A locksmith had a table set up outside his store and demonstrated how he made keys to a crowd of onlookers. Farmers pulled their stubborn animals and children through the streets as they went about their day.
The Red Riding Hood Kingdom had recovered handsomely from the turmoil the Enchantress had caused.
“Excuse me? Do you know where the House of Progress is?” Alex asked a shepherd passing by.
“It’s across from the castle at the other end of the park,” the shepherd told her.
“Thank you,” Alex said, and followed his directions. She had been to the castle many times and it was easy for her to steer Cornelius there.
The House of Progress looked just like a miniature version of the US Capitol, except it had been painted red and the dome had been replaced with the world’s largest square basket.
“That is so Red Riding Hood,” Alex said, and shook her head. Even Cornelius moved his head back and forth at the ridiculous sight.
They traveled through the park and Alex left Cornelius at the foot of the building’s wide front steps. Statues of Queen Red posing heroically in her favorite outfits lined the steps all the way up to the doorway. Alex couldn’t believe this was the woman she had come all this way to get advice from, but at least the journey had gotten her out of the Fairy Kingdom.
The House of Progress’s entrance hall was decorated with dozens of paintings of the young queen. Alex was used to Red’s narcissistic decorating by now and it didn’t faze her, but there were two incredibly large paintings on the walls that made her laugh. One was of Red regally speaking to her people just before setting sail on the enormous flying ship the Granny. The other was a painting depicting the moment when Red refused to surrender her kingdom to the Enchantress.
Alex had been around for both of those moments and didn’t remember either one as dramatic as the paintings suggested, but she thought they were amusing nonetheless. In the very center of the entrance hall was another statue of Red, but of epic proportions: Queen Red sitting on her throne, looking exactly like the Lincoln Memorial.
“I’ve got to stop showing Red pictures of the Otherworld,” Alex said under her breath.
A line of waiting townspeople started in the entrance hall, curved around the giant statue, and ended just before the open doorway to the next room. Alex followed the line and found herself stepping into a large circular room directly under the building’s gigantic basket.
“ALEX, LOOK OUT!” Red shouted from the back of the room.
The next thing Alex knew, she was being tackled to the ground by an enormous black wolf. Her wand was knocked out of her hand and it rolled away from her. The wolf pressed his massive paws against her chest near her throat. He opened his large snout and Alex could see all the sharp teeth inside his mouth. She closed her eyes as tight as possible, knowing what was coming next.
Alex felt the wolf’s wide wet tongue lick her face over and over again—he was so excited to see her.
“Hello, Clawdius,” Alex grunted under him. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“No, Clawdius! What did I say about tackling guests?” Red yelled.
A handful of Red’s guards who had been standing along the edge of the room tried to remove the wolf from the young fairy but he growled viciously at them and they quickly backed away.
“Clawdius! Get off the heir of magic right now!” Red demanded.
Clawdius immediately jumped off Alex. Clearly Red was the only one who could control him. Alex got to her feet and Clawdius put his overgrown head in her hand so she would pet him.
“Look how big you’ve gotten, Clawdius!” Alex said as she scratched under his chin. “You get bigger every time I see you.”
Clawdius retrieved Alex’s wand, but when she went to take it from his mouth he pulled away—he wanted to play.
“Oh no, Clawdius,” Alex said in a panic. “That’s not something we can play with!”
“Clawdius, drop the nice fairy’s wand right now!” Red ordered, but the wolf ignored her. “I said, drop it! Don’t make me shake the can full of coins!”
Clawdius sat down and set the wand gently on the floor in front of Alex. Even when seated he was almost as tall as she was. Alex collected her wand and headed to the back of the room where Red sat.
Red was perched on a raised throne and dressed to the nines in a red ball gown and a tiara; she was drenched in diamonds. To her right were two rows of raised seats where nine people and animals alike sat, although the seats weren’t raised as high as hers, of course. Alex assumed these must be the representatives Red had been talking about yesterday.
Alex immediately recognized the three sitting closest to Red as Red’s granny; the Little Old Woman who ran the Shoe Inn; and the third Little Pig. There were also three blindfolded white mice who shared one seat, a bushy-haired black sheep; a nervous and jumpy young woman; and an obese man who wore a guilty expression as he ate a pie.
“Everyone, this is my good friend Alex,” Red said. “Alex, let me introduce you to my House of Progress representatives: the Honorable Three Blind Mice, Sir BaaBaa Blacksheep, Lady Muffet, and Sir Jack Horner. And of course you know Granny, the Old Woman from the Shoe Inn, and the third Little Pig.”
They all greeted her with warm welcomes, except the Old Woman, who was infamously hard of hearing.
“Who’s complex?” the Old Woman asked.
“Not complex—Alex,” Granny said directly into her friend’s ear. “She’s one of Red’s friends.”