Breakfast tasted like hell, and it wasn’t the food. It was what followed it each day. Quitting the situation wasn’t an option if I wanted to live more than six months. Maybe if I called it half a year? Nah, still wasn’t any more palatable.
I didn’t even have my people to talk to. Ruck was on some recon mission. He wouldn’t be back for days, and he’d taken Marra with him. Sinsy and Fetch were off hunting on the other side of the country, which apparently was much larger than I realized.
Didn’t matter anyway, since I’d never be able to explain why I hated the fact that I couldn’t do this thing that Ryker wanted. I didn’t even want to do it, but it kept me awake at night that I couldn’t. And I had a hard time controlling my magic around him. Not that I had much control to begin with, but it was an epic failure as soon as he came near me. My crew was settling into a place I feared would kill them, yet they looked happier than they’d ever been. Everywhere I looked, I was failing, and I couldn’t figure out how to fix any of it.
I ate the last of my toast and eggs and dumped my plate in the bin. The clock was useless to me, and another late day would make things worse.
There were more people loitering around the center of town than normal. I made my way around a cluster and saw why. Right there, in the busiest part of town, were two circles drawn into the ground. Ryker was standing in the inner one, waiting for me.
I walked past the first circle, knowing I was allowing myself to be caught. I’d rather get stuck than scream our business in front of everyone.
Ryker didn’t waste any time chanting up the second ward. I stopped when my toes hit the inner one. “What are you doing?”
“We are practicing.”
“Here?” I pointedly looked about the place, and all the onlookers. The audience was growing.
“Most people don’t have magic but enjoy seeing it at work. Plus, it’ll be motivational for you.” He shoved up his sleeves and crossed his arms.
This was worse than when I’d thought I was going to fail in front of everyone with Burn. Burn wasn’t trying to turn it into a spectator sport. I’d never hated someone a much as I hated Ryker at this moment. And there were some people I hated a whole lot, and with good reason.
“You think it’s motivational to have everyone see me fail over and over again? To prove what I told you yesterday was correct?” My voice was some weird combination of whispering and screaming. Anyone watching must’ve known we were arguing. If he didn’t have that ward up, I would’ve been strangling him.
His voice dropped as he said, “At least you might care enough to continue trying this time.”
Was that his problem? He thought I wasn’t trying? All I did was try, repeatedly. I wasn’t going to be a spectacle for him to finally believe I couldn’t do what he needed.
We now had a full audience looking on, and more gathering. It was as if they could smell the magic heating up between us. Maybe some of them could.
I took a step away from the inner ward and took another look around before settling my gaze back on him. He could push me around this spot all day long. I wasn’t doing this. “No.”
“Yes,” he said.
“No.”
He stepped out of his circle and walked toward me, the toes of his boots brushing mine. “We’re practicing.”
“Or what?” I asked, mocking his tone. I saw the shock of the onlookers, heard the whispers. Yes, see? You didn’t have to do everything Ryker said. He was not a god. I had more control than he wanted to admit. He couldn’t kill me. He couldn’t even hurt me much, because how would I do what he needed then?
Jaws dropped around the circle. People gasped. Maybe it was good that people realized Ryker wasn’t a god. You could defy him and the skies didn’t open up and strike you down.
“You’ve got one chance left.”
I shrugged.
He paced away from me, and I knew he didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t even looking at me when he gave a little shove with his magic and I stumbled back a foot.
“And stop getting pushy with your magic.” I said it much louder than I needed to, since he was only a few feet away.
He turned and had the nerve to look confused. I would’ve thought he didn’t realize it, except he said, “I’ll do whatever I have to.”
Rage was brewing inside of me. And then my magic followed suit, feeling like a cyclone. We started off and I vaguely sensed the crowd moving back, as if they knew all hell was about to break loose and didn’t want to catch a random bolt of fire or something.
I was teetering on the edge, and if he pushed me one more time, provoked me even a little, I knew I was going to lose control.
We were staring at each other, and then he got that look. Next thing, I was getting those strange feelings again, the ones his magic did that made me feel all tingly.
It was the final push. It might not have even been aggressive on his part, but my magic was on the verge of exploding. It didn’t matter if it had been a blow or a simple breeze.
I could feel my magic gathering itself like a great beast and then it was unleashing, bursting from me. I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I didn’t care. Caught in the fury of the moment, I walked toward him, uncaring of what might come. Then I punched him in the face.
Ryker’s head bounced back an inch.
He lifted a hand to his lip, where a small trickle of blood fell. Holy magic, I’d punched him in the mouth. How had I gotten past his ward? Had he dropped the ward? Why’d he do that? So he could walk over and kill me, probably. This was bad. He’d poked at me before, but nothing on the scale of what I’d just done.
He looked at his fingers as if he’d never seen his own blood before. From the scars I’d seen on his arms, he wasn’t a stranger to bleeding. No. This was shock.
His hand dropped and his attention was back to me. His magic was near bursting beside me, but he’d keep it under wraps. Had to. He wouldn’t kill me. But I had a feeling he could.
From the look on his face, he wanted to. Badly.
Oh boy, was he boiling.
He grabbed my arm, hauling me upward. I focused magic to where his fingers bit into me. My zapper fell flat. What was wrong with my zapper? I was still getting past the shock of that when I felt his shoulder connect with my hip. I placed both hands on his back, not to push off but to try and zap him again. He’d drop me as soon as I could get it to work.
Any day, it would kick in.
I lifted my hands, stared at my palms, then placed them on him again.
“It doesn’t work on me.”
I was beginning to figure that out. This was going to require some delving, but I didn’t have a leg to stand on right now, literally, so it would have to wait.
He was striding through the crowd, who looked quite fearful at the moment. Although I’d often considered them too soft, it was sort of touching that they were concerned for me. I waved to them as he strode. “Don’t worry! I’ll be fine. He’s not going to kill me.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure.”
The growl in Ryker’s voice nearly wiped out that confidence. Was this the part where I should start struggling? Nah. He really did need me. I knew I couldn’t do what he wanted, but he thought I could. He wouldn’t kill me. Right? I was feeling less sure with every step.
And then I was falling. For one second, I thought I was wrong and that he was trying to kill me. I hadn’t even fought my best because I’d felt bad about hitting him again. Now look. I was going to be dead.
Or not dead, but in really cold water. I’d been right. He wasn’t trying to kill me. Except I couldn’t swim, so he might kill me anyway.
I went under, but my body wanted to rise, and I kicked with urgency. But once I got up to the surface, I couldn’t seem to stay there, and I’d sink again.
I did this a few times, each struggle back to the surface taking longer than the last, before an arm wrapped around my shoulders. Ryker towed me upward and then was swimming us both to shore. I wanted to call him an ass but wanted dry ground more. I was alternating between coughing up water and trying to get air into soggy lungs.