I slammed off the ward for the fiftieth time that week. The mud oozed up around my fingers and a glob landed on my nose. That was my life. Wake up, eat, and bounce off Ryker’s wards.
I should’ve been grateful that we were back to doing this and he hadn’t done that weird magic thing in a few days. I had been grateful initially, but that feeling had slowly leaked out of me as the mud had seeped in.
“Is there any reason we have to practice in a mud field?” Practice. That was what Ryker liked to call what he did to me every day.
His eyebrow rose as he stared at me. “Added inspiration?”
It hadn’t gone unnoticed that he didn’t seem to mind looking at me when I was covered in mud but seemed to avoid looking at me any other time. I guessed I wasn’t as entertaining when I wasn’t a mess. “And maybe a couple of chuckles for you?”
“Can’t fault me for reaping unexpected bonuses.”
“Unexpected” might’ve been pushing it when he picked the muddiest place in the field each time. I bounced off the ward and onto the ground and then decided it didn’t feel so bad down here.
I went to stand and slipped back onto my ass, proving I shouldn’t have gotten back up. “You love to reap those bonuses, too,” I said.
“What bonuses would you be referring to?” he asked from his comfortable perch on the rock lounge.
I narrowed my eyes as I glanced back over my shoulder and walked toward the outer ward. “Manly bonuses.”
He tilted his head back and let out a genuine laugh. I didn’t like when he laughed. He didn’t look like the bastard he was when he laughed. He looked like a man with a healthy sense of humor. Not that humor was the be-all and end-all. The devil probably laughed too, sometimes, while he was frying up his victims.
“The way you mess with all those women is not nice and not funny.” Somebody needed to defend them if they were too stupid to know better than to get mixed up with him.
“Are you keeping tabs on me, Bugs? Are you watching who comes and goes out of my rooms?” He stopped looking at his map and stared straight at me, a smile flirting with his lips.
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself. You’d have to be blind to miss the parade in and out of your room.”
I turned my back to him as the warmth built in my cheeks. I might’ve been paying attention to who came and went, but it had nothing to do with liking him. I was gathering intelligence on my enemy, as any sane person would do. Why was I the only one who understood that?
I circled around, the burn on my face replaced by a burn in my chest. Stupid women. After I fixed the smiling problem, I might move on to Ryker’s harem. These girls were blind. “I can’t imagine why they all sleep with you.”
“Really? You can’t?”
“No, I can’t.”
“Sometimes the way you look at me, I think you can.”
I froze. I felt like he’d broken our unspoken agreement. Yes, I might’ve caught myself looking at him in that way a few times, but it meant nothing. I’d caught him looking at me that way, too, but that also meant nothing. That was why we didn’t discuss it. It didn’t mean anything, and we both knew that and didn’t bring it up. Ever.
Now he’d gone and said something. He’d taken the first shot and left me no choice but to retaliate to prove I had no real interest. “I’d rather get eaten by the dragons of Bedlam.”
“Don’t worry, you’re too young and stupid to sleep with,” he replied, but it lacked the heat of a real insult.
He’d taken the first shot. I’d taken the next hit. That was where it should’ve ended, but no, he had to keep it going. First he broke the unspoken pact and then he tried to fix it by insulting me, even if he’d given it the lamest delivery ever.
“I saw some redhead coming out of your room that was definitely my age. Actually, she might even be younger. And don’t tell me the one with the boobs falling out of her shirt, because it looked like she’d forgotten how to work a button, is smarter than me. I’m just as good as the rest of those girls.”
“You’re right. You’re better.”
What was he doing? Now he was going to compliment me? I slipped in the mud, and I wasn’t getting back up this time. No way. Not with what was coming out of his mouth.
I sat there filthy as he told me I was better, and it did strange things to me. It made me want to break his wards just to prove he was right about me.
Then I’d be going to his rooms like all the other girls and could live in a gilded cage, like all the other caught Wyrd Blood. Except it would be worse, because I’d done it to myself.
“Don’t act like you know me. You don’t. I can’t do this. I’m not the person you need.” I knew I was snapping and couldn’t seem to help myself. I didn’t want him to be nice to me. It made everything worse somehow. I wouldn’t be one of his girls, and I wasn’t staying here.
He didn’t speak for a few minutes and neither did I, but the air around us seemed thicker than it had been minutes ago. The words I’d just said to him replayed in my head. They were all true, though. He didn’t know me. Didn’t know where I came from or what I’d been through. I wasn’t one of these smiling people. Couldn’t be.
“Get up.”
Every other time I fell, I’d gotten right back on my feet. Right now, I was done being messed with. I’d lie here until he figured it out. I was done.
I didn’t want to look at him. I knew he’d be standing there, arms crossed, staring at me as if I were the most useless creature this side of the forest. I didn’t care.
“I thought you were a lot of things”—he paused to walk over to me and then stare down—“but I didn’t think you were a quitter.”
I stared up at his face, shadowed by the sunny day. “See, that’s the thing. Nothing about you shocks me. I knew you were a bastard as soon as I met you.”
“Get. Up.”
I didn’t bother saying no. I did offer him a shrug as I lay there, which rubbed a stone into my back. The look in his eyes made it worth it.
Maybe if I continued to lie here, he’d leave me be.
He reached down and planted his hand on my chest, right above my heart and where the bruise used to be the worst. It was one thing when I chose to lie on the ground, but I didn’t like his hand planting me there.
A burst of his magic pulsed through me, and it felt as if I’d gotten hit with lightning and survived. He straightened up, with one of those I told you so looks, and I had no idea why.
I shoved upward until I was sitting. “Are you trying to kill me or something?”
“No. I proved you can do exactly what I want. If you couldn’t, that would’ve killed you.”
I shot to my feet, closing the gap until I was less than a foot from him. “And what if you were wrong?”
“I wasn’t.” No warmth, no kidding. The laughter was gone and the bastard was back. At least I knew how to deal with this version.
“Are you that ruthless that you’d kill anyone it takes to get what you want?”
“Yes. That’s why these people are still alive.”
“I guess those lives matter.”
“If you’re asking if I have a problem sacrificing a few to save the many, I don’t.”
He certainly didn’t have an issue sacrificing me if need be, and he was saying it loud and clear.
“We’re done. I’m done.”
“Go ahead. You can take the afternoon off,” he said, smiling like he had a choice in the matter.
What irritated me more was that I feared he did. He let me leave, knowing I’d be back because I didn’t have a choice. It was uncertain death or certain death. Both choices sucked, but one was way worse than the other. I was all bluster and he knew it. I was already in a cage.
He left me sitting in the mud as I watched him leave the field. I dug a hole, finding a big, fat worm. I cupped it in my hands and whispered, “Is it time to leave?”
As soon as it hit the dirt, the worm turned and crawled in the direction Ryker had retreated.
Damn.
Chapter 20