“He tried to kill me, Lance.” I sighed as I shifted my gaze to his.
“He didn’t try to kill you.”
I straightened my back and grimaced. “Oh yeah? Tell that to my back.” I lay my hand on the door handle. “I can’t live in a house where the Order demands so much, knowing that I will always lose if Cal is given the choice. I can’t vow my loyalty to them, not when they so clearly undervalue the role of the Huntress.”
“But you’ve changed things, Morgan. You succeeded. You killed Lazarus. Things will be different now.” His voice grew louder with his excitement, and Rachel moaned, her fear returning.
I gave him a dark look. “I’m sorry, Lance, but the damage is done. I wasn’t born into it like Candy was, knowing that I would one day be a Huntress. I didn’t ask for this and I don’t want it.”
“You don’t want Cal?” Lance’s eyebrows were cocked, knowing that if I denied it, I’d be lying.
“It doesn’t matter. Don’t you get that? Cal and I don’t feel the same way about our obligation to the Order. He needs to go back there. He needs to tend to Kelly. And now that Andrew is gone, she needs him more than I do.” Even as I said it, my words tore at me, igniting my jealousy, demanding I take it all back.
“That’s bullshit,” Lance spat. “You need him and he needs you. If you walk away from this, it’s going to destroy you. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. You love him, you can’t deny that.”
I shook my head again. I needed to get the hell away from Lance, from the Hunters, from everything to do with this crazy world. I popped open the door and slid my foot out, raising my hand as Lance moved to get out too. “I don’t deny that I love him, but I can’t go back with you and he can’t go anywhere else.”
I helped Rachel out of the backseat, easing her to her feet as I slammed the door closed.
“Okay, Rach? We’re home. Why don’t you go and unlock the door?”
Rachel nodded, her eyes still glazed with shock as she dug into her pocket and pulled out her house keys then headed for the door.
I turned back to the SUV. Lance had rolled down the passenger-side window and was leaning over the seat to see me. “Are you sure, Morgan?”
I nodded as I briefly closed my eyes, my mind reeling. This was my last chance. If I let Lance drive away, I was sure I’d never see any of them again—never see Cal again. I didn’t even know where the mansion was located exactly. As I opened my eyes, I released the breath I’d been holding and nodded, not trusting myself to say anything.
Lance clenched his jaw, a muscle ticking in his cheek as he stared at me. “Morgan, if he’d wanted to kill you, he wouldn’t have missed.”
His words hit me like a sledgehammer, and I stared after him as he pulled himself back from the window, waited for another full minute, and then drove away, his tires skidding along the pavement as he went.
Of course, Lance was right. Cal never missed with his sai, I knew that. But it didn’t change anything. I still couldn’t trust him to put me ahead of the Order and that was what I needed. For someone to finally put me first…and I was going to start things off by doing it myself.
Chapter Forty-Two
Awakening
For the millionth time, Cal checked the messages, or lack of messages, on his cell phone. Why he continued to hope that she would call, he couldn’t understand. He’d never given her his cell number, how would she know how to reach him?
It had been three weeks. Three weeks of sleepless nights and no appetite. Three weeks of rollercoaster emotions: rage, sorrow, pain, loss. Every day waiting and wondering when she would break the bond. Cal knew now what he had put her through when he left to find another woman. He understood the hell of waiting for someone to destroy his heart. But he didn’t dare go to her. She’d made her choice, and she’d been perfectly clear. She didn’t want him. She hadn’t asked for it.
He sat in the wing-backed chair that looked out on the backyard from Kelly’s room, as he had for all the waking hours and sometimes the restless nights since his return. With Andrew gone, Cal felt obligated to sit with her, speak to her, explain how he’d fucked up, how he’d gotten her Hunter killed—or worse—transformed into a beast. He didn’t know if she could hear what he said and without Andrew there to connect with her mind, Cal had no idea what she was thinking. It was unending silence, punctuated by the machines that were keeping her alive.