I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly parched, my body humming with exhaustion. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know.” I frowned. “I almost gave in to him, Cal.”
Cal’s wrinkled brow matched mine. “But you didn’t in the end, Morgan. You didn’t give in.” He smiled softly. “Now we can go home, build a life without this hanging over us. Lazarus is dead.” He ignored the scowl that tugged on my lips, the denial shadowed in my eyes. But when he moved to embrace me again I stepped away from him.
“I’m not going back to the mansion with you.”
Cal’s smile faded, his lips parted to speak.
I raised my hand to stop him, my fingers resting on his lips. “I’m not going back with you.”
“But you have to, Morgan. We can’t leave the Order. I’ve taken a vow of loyalty.”
I nodded. “Yes, you have and you’ve proven your loyalty.” When his frown deepened, I sighed, letting my hand fall back to my side. “But I didn’t take any vow and I won’t. I can’t live in a house where everyone wanted me dead.”
Lance came to us then, forcing us farther apart with his presence. “Andrew is missing.”
“Dead?” Cal asked, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Ken saw him dragged off by two of the wolves. He said they made a killing blow to the neck, but we can’t be sure.”
No one needed to say it, they all just knew. There was a chance that Andrew was dead. There was also a chance that Andrew would end up like Jimmy. A werewolf with intimate knowledge of the workings of the Order.
Cal nodded even though no one had said anything. “We have to get back to the compound. See if Kelly is okay.”
Lance motioned toward the vehicles. “We need to get Rachel to her home.”
I shifted my gaze to the SUV. “I’m coming.”
Lance frowned. “Of course. I’m sure she’ll react better if she has a friend with her.” He patted Cal on the shoulder as he turned to walk away. “We’ll be back in a few.”
I turned my eyes to Cal’s, the look of hurt I found there almost bringing me to my knees. “No, I won’t be coming back.”
Lance turned toward me. “What?”
I fought to maintain my composure. Cal’s eyes bore into me, pleading where his words didn’t. “I can’t stay with all of you. I’m sorry, Cal. I can’t get past the betrayal. Even if Andrew is gone. That place is haunted for me. I just can’t bind myself to it. I didn’t choose this life.”
Cal shook his head, tears welling in his eyes. “Don’t do this, Morgan.”
“I’ll find a way to break the bond, Cal,” I forced out, my eyes burning with unshed tears as my stomach pitched with my words. “I’ll find a way to release you.”
Cal sucked in a breath. I turned away, walking past Lance, demanding that he follow after me with a quick glance. With every step I took, I felt the burning pain of separation, of undeniable longing. As I moved away from Cal, my body screamed. But how could I stay with someone who had chosen the Order over me? He’d tried to kill me, hadn’t he? He’d taken the shot and followed through on his duty, just as Andrew had wanted. My back burned with the wound his sai had caused. As much as I’d bravely spouted off about rather dying than being Lazarus’s bride, when it came down to it, I hadn’t expected it would be my Hunter to do it. It was clear to me that Cal would always choose the Order over me. His vow demanded it.
As I slid into the backseat with Rachel, I immediately set aside my troubling thoughts to deal with what lay before me. Rachel was in shock. She’d covered her head with her hands, her body was shaking. She jumped a foot when I laid my hand on her arm.
“It’s only me, sweetheart. It’s okay, I’m here.”
Rachel lifted her head, her eyes rimmed red from crying, her lips quivering. “Morgan?”
I gave a small smile as I held my arms out. With a sigh of relief, Rachel collapsed into me, the tension and fear rolling off her as she sobbed against my chest.
Lance jumped into the driver’s seat, slamming the door and turning the ignition as he glanced over his shoulder, his brows pulled into a deep frown. “She okay?”
“No. She needs to go home. Can you take us there, please?”
Lance nodded then turned to face front. “Where to?”
Ten minutes later, we were parked outside Rachel’s house. Lance watched me in the rearview mirror as I continued to stroke Rachel’s hair, cooing to her that everything would be okay.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to wait?” Lance asked, shifting his body around so that he could look at me.
I frowned back at him and shook my head. “No, I don’t want you to wait.”
Lance sighed as he rubbed his hand along the back of his neck. “Morgan, this isn’t a decision you should make on the spur of the moment. Cal needs you, he loves you. You can’t walk away from him.”
I glanced toward the window, staring into the black sky. With the moon fully eclipsed, the stars seemed to shine more brightly. It would only last for one night, but I was sure that there were more stars out there than I had ever seen in my life.