Cal slid his hand over my knee, his fingers brushing mine. “Lazarus won’t allow the pack to hurt her. He wants you with him. Part of his seduction will be giving you what you want.”
I shifted my gaze to him. Deep creases furrowed his brow and his eyes shone with worry. “Doug said she didn’t look hurt, just scared,” I told him. “When you’re scared, you do things that you wouldn’t normally do.”
Like bond with a practical stranger. Commit yourself to eternity with a man you hardly know.
My thoughts caught me off guard and I shifted my eyes back to stare at my hands. The few regrets I’d had before now had been short-lived, even the worst of them, when I’d hated the bond that was making me hurt so badly. I’d reveled in my powers, my strength, the feeling of being included in a group. Now that I was on my way to a battle, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d made some stupid choices in my life.
Yeah, like lusting after a man who would just as soon kill you as sleep with you all in his duty to the Order.
But that wasn’t fair. Cal wouldn’t hurt me. He believed in my ability to end this the right way, by killing Lazarus. I was the one with the doubts. What if I failed? I’d been so easily wooed by Cal—what if Lazarus’s ability to seduce me, the magic he held over me, was too strong to break? Wouldn’t it be better to be dead than a puppy mill for Lazarus?
I sighed as I lifted my hand to remove the hood of the cloak.
“You should probably keep that on,” Lance said as he lifted his hand to tug it back in place.
I stopped his hand with mine. “No, I’m stifling in here.”
“But…”
“Let her be,” Cal growled. “What difference does it make now anyway? Lazarus knows that she’ll come to him. It’s probably better that he gets the sense that she’s on her way—it’ll spare Rachel some unnecessary pain.”
I flinched at his words but shifted one hand over and laced it with his, a silent thanks as my frozen heart thudded painfully for him once again. I didn’t want to die. I hadn’t asked for this. But neither had Rachel. I, at least, had a fighting chance. And I knew deep down in my soul that this was what I was born to do. Cal’s bond had awakened something in me, something that had nothing to do with my role as the Huntress.
I’d been dying before. Living a hollow life. No plan, no destiny, no purpose. I had purpose now, even if it was going to be short-lived. The fight could go two ways. I’d fall under Lazarus’s spell and I’d die. Or I would kill Lazarus. Either way, I would be walking away from the Order at the end of it all. I’d be walking away from Cal when all was said and done.
Andrew pulled my attention away from my thoughts as he loudly barked a few more curse words before twisting in his seat to look at Cal. “You need to set up some source of light when we get there.”
Cal stiffened. “I need to be with Morgan.”
Andrew’s eyes shifted to me. “Morgan can take care of herself. Once we get there, you’re not to remove the cloak until we’re in position. He won’t know where to find you if you’re cloaked.”
Cal squeezed my hand. “I’m not leaving Morgan’s side.”
Andrew snorted. “Well, my friend, you’re going to have to. I doubt Lazarus is going to take too kindly to seducing a women who has her Hunter at her side.”
Andrew’s attitude had shifted so much since I had first met him. Gone was the easy smile and welcoming eyes, and in their place was a crazed expression of control. I remembered back to our first conversation when he’d been taking me to meet Kelly. How he’d gotten so riled up at the thought of me leaving the Order. I realized now that I’d had a glimpse of the true Andrew—a power-hungry, control freak. It was a jarring shift and if I hadn’t known better, I’d have guessed he suffered some kind of head injury. I didn’t like him and I certainly didn’t trust him. All the pity I had felt toward him was gone, replaced with a cruel curiosity about his true feelings toward his bonded Huntress. Maybe he didn’t love her as much as he’d led everyone to believe, because he clearly had no respect for the bond between Cal and me.
“It’s okay, Cal.” I released his hand. “Andrew is right. In the end, we all know that I have to fight Lazarus alone. You need to keep Rachel out of harm’s way.”
Andrew nodded, the anger ebbing slowly from his eyes. “We’ll keep your friend safe. You just focus on doing what you are meant to do.”
I stared back at him, searching his words for their true intentions. A rising feeling of hatred seethed just under my skin. No, I didn’t trust Andrew at all. “I’ll do what I can.”
“And if you fail, I’ll be there waiting,” Andrew said, his eyes narrowing, his lips curled into a sneer.
His words didn’t even startle me, but I felt both Lance and Cal stiffen. Obviously, Andrew’s new personality was not washing quite right with the boys.