“Son of a bitch,” I hissed as I scrambled out of bed. There was no way I was going to let him take off for another day without any explanation. I was halfway to the door, intent on trailing after him when I realized that I was still completely naked. By the time I found one of Cal’s oversized T-shirts and made it out into the hall it was too late. Cal was already gone.
Shit, shit, shit!
I ducked back into the room and headed straight for the bathroom.
It didn’t take me long to wash up and pull on some more appropriate clothing. I was in the process of lacing my running shoes when I heard the unmistakable sound of someone thudding down the hall and my heart leapt. Was he coming back?
I rushed for the door and threw it open, darting my head out only to see Cal’s hulking form headed toward the staircase.
“Aren’t you at least going to say goodbye this time?” I hedged my tone, trying desperately to keep my anger in check and give him the benefit of the doubt.
He froze in place, his shoulders hunching like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “I’ve got things to do.”
His cold words hit me like a brick and I stepped fully out into the hall. With his back still to me, I felt the sting of his rejection even more.
“Don’t you think I deserve an explanation? I mean, you are my Hunter. You should be the one training with me. You said so yourself.”
Cal’s massive back shuddered as he took a deep breath. He clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.”
Another hit. This one made my legs wobble. I took a step back and wrapped my arms around my waist. “Cal? What about last night? Didn’t that mean anything?” I hated that I sounded like a cliché. The silly woman who wanted more from a one-night stand. He made me feel like a discarded fling when I knew that our bond meant so much more.
“Nothing more than what my body needs from a female.”
“What?” I croaked, the word almost not coming out.
But he didn’t say anything more. Instead, he continued down the hall and disappeared around the corner without once looking back at me. I stared in disbelief as the air seemed to withdraw from around me and my lungs ceased to breathe. I lay my hand over my heart as tears budded in my eyes. What had just happened?
I staggered back into the room, closing the door behind me, then crumpled into a heap on the floor, my body wracked with sobs as my heart shattered. He was supposed to be with me. Every fiber in my body screamed for him to come back. Bonding had done more than gift me with amazing powers and incredible strength—it had also embedded this undeniable urge to be with Cal, touching him, tasting him, talking with him.
My stomach lurched and I pushed myself up, making it to the bathroom only moments before I vomited, heaving everything out of my stomach. What’s wrong with me? What did I do? Why won’t anyone love me? You’re pathetic. You’re a loser. You have nothing to give. The old childhood mantra circled in my thoughts, taking me down into the deepest pit of depression.
I lay on the cold tile of the bathroom floor for what seemed like hours. Numb. Heartbroken. Defeated. It wasn’t until I saw the bright light from the fully risen sun battling its way through the drapes that I forced myself to stand. The mirror confirmed I looked as shitty as I felt.
I splashed some water on my face, all the while replaying the night before. What had I done to upset him? Where had he gone so early in the morning? The only thing down in the direction that he had come from was Kelly’s room.
I shook my head as I braced myself against the countertop. He’d left me twice. His words confirmed what I didn’t want to admit. He used my body, got satisfaction, but wanted nothing more, just as he had warned. No attachments. No possibility of love. Why are you so surprised? He didn’t want to fall victim to his emotions, or be ruled by his heart. He didn’t want to own up to the feeling that the bond created. He was doing this on purpose, keeping me at a distance so he didn’t develop feelings for me.
Well, I wouldn’t go along with that. I raised my head to stare at myself in the mirror, my eyes red-rimmed and my face pale. I was not some whore to be used and discarded whenever he got an itch. I would do without him if that was all he wanted. I’d already gotten what I needed from him. Power. Magic. Strength.