Andrew must be insane to think that I can stick to the plan.
His thoughts were bitter, angry and frustrated. The moment the bond had taken hold of him, connecting him to Morgan with his magic, was the moment he knew that he was in for the biggest battle of his life. Andrew expected Cal to distance himself from his Huntress—not necessarily physically, although it might come to that eventually—but emotionally. Cal needed to be reserved, cold, so that when the time came to battle Lazarus, there would be nothing preventing him from shoving a blade into her chest if she betrayed them.
Yeah, right.
He ran his hand down her stomach and over her hip, loving how she moaned and nestled closer to him even in her sleep. She would feel it too, this need, this bond. He didn’t want to leave, even though he knew he must. It would be better if she woke up in the morning without him there. She would feel the sting, get angry with him, start a fight, and that would make it easier to keep his distance.
He ran his hand back up to cup her breast, loving the heavy feel of it resting in his palm. She was so perfect for him, unlike any woman Cal had ever been with before. She’d revved him up even before the bonding, and now the intensity to be with her—in her—had him hard and aching once again.
He sighed as he rolled away from her, his body protesting the sudden loss of her warmth as he pushed himself to sit at the edge of the bed. It was for the best, he reminded himself. There was no use in letting the attachment grow even though all he wanted to do was lie there until she woke, then make love to her again—slowly this time, savoring her in every way until they both collapsed once more with exhaustion. But that wasn’t his only need. He wanted to know her, to learn about her past, her childhood, everything. She had said her family was dead, that she was alone. He wanted to hear her stories, comfort her pains, make it so that she was never alone again.
He lowered his head into his hand and sighed again. It was no use. He needed to wall himself up, remove his emotions, seal away his desire. He couldn’t touch her. In fact, he didn’t even trust himself to train with her. He’d have to ask Lance to continue training her, at least until Cal got his emotions under control.
Jealousy flared at the thought, his mind screaming against such a ludicrous idea. Mine. My Huntress.
He shook his head as he rose from the bed, giving one last look of longing over his shoulder. Her blanket draped over her curves like a white spill of snow, creating hills and valleys over flesh that he craved to touch again. He jerked his gaze away and moved toward the dresser that held his clothes. He needed to get some sleep, and even though his instinct bellowed for him to get back into bed with her, he would force himself to go over to the barracks where the other Hunters slept.
At least there, he wouldn’t be tempted to rouse her so that he could take her again.
No, down there he’d just have to face the jeers from the others, taunting and teasing that he hadn’t bonded yet, at least until the truth came out, and then they would all stare at him with pity. Cal, the cursed Hunter with the bride of Lazarus. If she hadn’t been connected to the king, maybe things could have been different. If she hadn’t been marked as his bride, she wouldn’t be at risk for betraying them.
And yet, she was. She was.
Cal shuffled into his clothes, reluctantly slipping on his boots before making his way to the door. He forced himself to move, leave the room and not look back. He’d gotten what he wanted. She was bonded—she was safe. Now the real fight began.
He closed the door behind him and lowered his head for a moment, taking in deep breaths to quell the rising urge to vomit. He’d never imagined it would be this difficult. Every step he took away from her felt unnatural, wrong. And yet he had to keep going. The Order demanded it, history had proven it. It wasn’t fair, but it had to be.
Morgan was marked for death. If Cal had to deliver her to that fate, he would, because it was his duty to do so.
Chapter Twenty
Training
It was odd to wake up without Cal there. My body craved his presence, his warmth. I knew that I’d fallen asleep with him curled behind me. In fact, I knew that I had fallen asleep because he had etched a spell on me.
Now, why would he do that? I wondered as I cracked open my eyes and rolled over, figuring he was in the shower. Maybe I’ll join him in there. I stretched out my arms and yawned. My gaze fell on the open door to the bathroom and I frowned.
“Cal?” I pushed myself up to sit, the blanket that covered me falling to my lap. “Cal, are you in there?”
No answer. The silence of the room enveloped me suddenly, making me realize I was alone. Where had he gone? I ran my hand through my hair, snagging my fingers on a few knots. Better get cleaned up. He’s probably downstairs getting something to eat.