Wings of the Wicked

29





I TOOK A DEEP BREATH BEFORE I RAISED MY HAND to knock on the door. Nana flung it open before I could knock a second time, so quickly, as if she’d been waiting by the door the entire time.

“Oh, my …” my grandmother murmured, touching her fingers to her mouth in surprise. “Ellie.”

“Hey, Nana,” I said with a weak smile. “I’m so sorry.”

She ushered me in through the door, soaking me with her radiance and relief at seeing me. “Come in, honey. It’s freezing out there. I’ll get you some hot tea.”

A few minutes later, I sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea as Nana fixed me soup at the stove. “You don’t have to do that,” I said, watching her sadly. “I’m not hungry, really. I don’t want you to go through the trouble.” In truth, I was starving, but it felt so wrong to just show up back at her house and have her make me dinner. It made me feel even lower than I already did, and that was saying a lot.

“Yes, I do,” she said. “The least I can do after you’ve been gone for almost two weeks is make you a hot meal.”

“But you don’t owe me anything,” I assured her. “I really don’t deserve it.”

She removed the pot to let it cool. “After what you’ve been through, child, you do.”

I stared at her in surprise and puzzlement. Why wasn’t she yelling at me, scolding me for running off and showing up after weeks of no contact? Why wasn’t she furious?

She came to the table and sat down next to me. She took my hand and held it in both of hers. “You’ve lost your parents and so much more. I was angry when you left, but I’ve done a lot of thinking, and I realize that much of this could have been avoided if I’d done better for you.”

I shook my head. “None of this is your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yes, I did,” she corrected me firmly. “I owe you an explanation. I’m angry with myself for making you go through this alone. I had the power to help you, but I was afraid and partially in denial. I was afraid of getting involved.”

I studied her eyes, searching for answers. “What are you talking about?”

She swallowed. “I knew, child. I knew everything. I know who you are.”

“Who I—?”

“I know you are the Preliator.”

She knew? How? I had never revealed who I was to a soul who wasn’t already in my world. “I don’t understand,” I squeaked, my voice quaking. “How can you know?”

“I am a psychic, Ellie,” she said simply. “I have always seen the reapers, but I had no idea that my granddaughter would ever be Gabriel’s vessel. I didn’t believe Frank when he told me until he showed me an old photograph of the two of you and your Guardian.”

“Frank,” I repeated, running names through my head. “Frank Meyer? My teacher?”

She nodded. “There aren’t many of us, and most of us know one another. I kept in contact with him for many years, and when he told me that you were the Preliator, I had a hard time believing him. And then these rumors began flying around about you actually being Gabriel….”

“Why didn’t you say anything to me?” I asked, and pulled my hand away from hers, unable to help the bitterness I felt.

“Frank told me it was best not to interfere.” She sounded genuinely penitent. “He promised that your Guardian would care for you. But I knew how hard it was for you, and I regret staying out of it all. And now the reapers have killed Frank, and they’ve killed my daughter and son-in-law. It’s my punishment, I suppose.”

“I spent all this time lying and hiding things from my family!” I said angrily. “And you knew the whole time. I was completely alone!”

Nana shook her head. “You were never alone. We’ve all looked out for you. Frank was killed hunting a reaper that had tracked you to your home. He died trying to keep it from telling its master where you lived, where your family lived. Not that it matters now. Bastian always knew where you lived, and he had your father killed so that beast could take his place and spy on you. We know that now. But you aren’t alone. Your Guardian protects you. I know about Will. I’m sorry you had to lie to your mother about him. She would have liked him more if she’d known what he truly was to you. You did what you had to do.”

I made a disgusted, choking sound. “What I had to do? You have no idea what I’ve had to do! What I’ve seen and been through!”

“I do, honey,” she said calmly. “I know where you’ve been. Lauren let me know that you were safe. I knew you were safer with the angelic reapers than here with me. I’m just an old woman. I would only have gotten in your way. Your soup is probably ready.” She got up from the table to pour me a bowl of soup and set it on the mat in front of me. “You need to eat.”

The steaming soup smelled delicious, but I was afraid that if I took a bite I wouldn’t be able to keep it down. I forced a spoonful, and the warmth filled up my whole body. “You said Frank gave you a photograph of us. Do you still have it?”

She turned to her purse on the counter and slipped something out of one of the pockets. She held the weathered photograph out to me, and I took it tentatively from her fingers. The black-and-white picture’s edges were torn and wrinkled, and right in the center of the image was me, with my dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. Beside me was Will, with a genuine smile on his face and one hand on the shoulder of a young, lanky man with shaggy hair. I brought the photo closer and squinted to make out his face. The boy’s eyes and smile gave him away, and in my mind I pictured him laughing. It was Frank Meyer.

My entire world—everything I knew—spun through my head like a tornado. “I can’t believe any of this. I can’t … get my mind around it.”

She smiled and slid an arm around my shoulders. “I know. When I found out, it was impossible for me to believe this little fire-haired girl was the archangel Gabriel. I felt so much for you. Your nightmares, your slipping grades, the sneaking out. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d been you. I should have been there for you, but I was terrified of messing up your cycle.”

“You wouldn’t have messed anything up,” I said in a small voice. “I needed my family more than anything, but I understand why you did it.” I took a deep breath of relief, feeling the weight melt from my shoulders. In spite of myself, I smiled. “You can’t know how good this feels.”

Her own smile brightened. “Oh, I do, believe me. I’m so happy that you know who I am as well. I want to help you in any way possible. Whatever you need to do, please don’t worry about making up a story to do it. I understand this is your duty, who you are. But don’t forget, Gabriel, that you have to be Ellie too, or you’ll lose yourself.”

Lose myself. Something I was terrified of. “I need to go back to school. I need to have a life on top of all this. I need some kind of normalcy.”

She nodded. “Good girl. Let’s get you back into school, then. But eat your soup first. I don’t want to see a speck left in that bowl before you go to bed.”

I smiled and picked up the spoon. “Okay, Nana.”

The next few months until graduation were going to kick my ass sideways. Nana scored me visits with my principal and counselors, to get me on a track that would catch me up in classes. She explained that after the horrible events I’d gone through, I went to stay with other family—which wasn’t entirely untrue—and my school was sympathetic and willing to help. I had a new determination in me to prevent any more demonic things from stealing the rest of my youth.

Managing my time between patrolling for reapers and spending extra hours at school with my teachers was exhausting. The Saturday after my return to school, Kate demanded that I get to her house at eight for a “small thing” and to bring Will. I figured after visiting Kate, Will and I could go kill stuff. I got ready, just pulling on jeans and a sweater over a tank, and waited for him to come over. Tonight we had plans for Nana to meet him, especially since she knew his—and my—true identity. She was very curious about him, as all psychics and angelic reapers tended to be about the both of us. We were like Elvis—minus the drugs and triple the bluesy angst.

When he arrived, I let him in and he followed me through the house to the parlor where Nana sat with a cup of tea and a thick, old leather book. Her eyes instantly rested on him and she smiled. She put her things down and climbed to her feet rather gracefully for her age.

“It’s a pleasure to meet Ellie’s Guardian,” she said, and held out a hand to shake his firmly. She studied him curiously, her gaze lingering on his tattoos.

“You, too,” he said politely. “She’s told me great things about you.”

She smiled. “Forgive my excitement. I’ve heard about you my entire life—you and Ellie, or rather her previous incarnations. It’s taken quite a while for me to get used to the knowledge that my beautiful granddaughter is the vessel of Gabriel. But Frank Meyer knew her as soon as he saw her.”

Will nodded and his lips tightened. “Frank was a great man and a good friend.”

Nana’s expression grew serious. “I’m sorry he didn’t have a way of contacting you sooner to tell you he’d found her. No one knew where you were. We all know you exist, but so few of us had ever seen you. You had been searching for her for a long time, from what I’d heard.”

He swallowed. “Yes.”

I watched him carefully, fully aware of what a difficult subject my absence was for him. My grandmother perhaps had an idea, but she didn’t understand how much it truly hurt him. “But Will did find me. He always finds me.” I squeezed his hand. After a moment, his fingers closed tighter around mine.

She studied his face carefully, her eyes flickering to our enclosed hands. “You love her.”

Something closed around my heart as he nodded. “I do,” he said.

“Then you’ll do anything you can to protect her.”

He lifted his chin. “I always have.”

She smiled and nodded, her fierce gaze softening in an instant. “I have so many questions to ask you, but I’ll save them for another time. You have places to be tonight.”

I began to turn to leave the parlor with Will. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

“See you then,” Nana said. “It was wonderful meeting you, Will.”

“Have a nice evening,” he said in return with a nod.

We headed out to my car and drove away. Of course, I realized that Kate’s “small thing” plan was a trick as soon as we entered her basement and all of my friends jumped out of hiding places to surprise me and welcome me back with warm, open arms. I cried as I hugged everyone, so overwhelmed by the love in the room and by how much I had missed them. Why was I ever scared of facing them again? My friends never judged me, never condemned me for abandoning them.

I passed on the alcohol, letting Kate know that I was going home after this to sleep and to get up early and do more makeup work. Sweetly, she gave me a smile and a kiss on the cheek, fully understanding. Marcus surprised me by showing up, the scars on his neck and jaw plainly visible around the collar of his sweater. He and Kate were something like official now, and I was okay with it. Will was good to me; Nathaniel had been good to Lauren. There was no reason why Marcus and Kate couldn’t make it work in their own way. The only difference was that Kate didn’t know Marcus wasn’t human, and I wasn’t sure when—or if—he would ever reveal his true nature to her. But that was their business, and I would leave it to them. He was sweet and affectionate with her, and more polite to me than he had reason to be.

With a drink in one hand, he wrapped his other around mine, pulling my fingers to his lips for a gracious kiss. “May I borrow her?” he asked Will.

Will gave me a small smile before narrowing his gaze sidelong at Marcus. “Just bring her back and don’t put that mouth of yours anywhere else.”

I tried not to laugh when Marcus winked at Will before leading me away into a quiet corner. Although “quiet” was relative, since Kate’s basement had Chris’s DJ talents making the walls shake. How her parents even slept at night was beyond me.

Marcus leaned against the wall and grinned at me. “Hello, beautiful. How are you?”

I couldn’t help but smile back up at him. “All right. Surviving. Living.”

“How is your Will?”

My Will. They always called him my Will. I glanced over to where Kate was talking to him, and he actually appeared to be engaged in the conversation. I couldn’t hear what they were saying over the music and twenty or so other voices, but at last he seemed comfortable talking to her. I didn’t think they’d spoken more than two words to each other since the night up at State, but they seemed okay now. “He’s better,” I said. “It’s been especially hard for him. Losing Nathaniel and all.”

“And all… ?” His brow flicked curiously.

“How much do you know about what happened that night?” I asked. “Do you know about Bastian?”

Marcus shrugged. “Will told me Cadan finished Bastian off, but that was it. I’m a little surprised, to be honest. I didn’t think he was that powerful.”

“Will didn’t tell you anything else?” I asked, biting my lip.

“No. Why?”

I swallowed hard. “Bastian said that Will is his son.”

Marcus blinked in surprise but shook it off. “That can’t be true.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t think he was lying, and neither does Will. But we won’t ever know for sure. He also said that Will’s mother, Madeleine, is alive.”

Marcus let out a long breath. “Intense.”

“There’s more,” I said hesitantly, hushing my voice. “Cadan is also Bastian’s son.”

He gaped at me. “They’re brothers?”

“Half,” I corrected. “Madeleine was—is—angelic. Cadan’s mother must have been demonic. I haven’t used angelfire against him, but I saw the way the sun burned him once. I’m certain Cadan’s demonic, like Bastian.”

“Does Will know?”

I shook my head. “I’m afraid to tell him. I think it would make him very upset. He despises Cadan.”

“He’ll have to learn eventually,” Marcus said. “But for now, you’re right. He doesn’t need to deal with this too, on top of everything.”

I nodded. “Where’s Ava tonight?”

He eyed me suspiciously. “Out. This isn’t really her scene.”

I made an ugly noise. “I think that I’m just not her scene.”

He gave a slow nod, his mouth forming a tight line. “She didn’t tell me that you knew.”

“About her and Will?” I asked, my voice a little more snarly than I meant it to be. “Yeah.”

He pushed himself off the wall and moved around me so that he stood in my line of sight to Will. “If you want an outside opinion, I say don’t stress over it. He felt pretty bad after it happened and told no one. Not even Nathaniel. I only know because Ava told me.”

“Did you and Ava ever … ?”

He laughed. “No, she’s too serious for me. She’s absolutely no fun at all, and I have a lot of fun. I have an open mind.”

I rolled my eyes. “Then Kate is just your type.”

He grinned widely. “She’s perfect. I want you to know that I’m a one-woman kind of guy when I have one. You don’t have to worry about her.”

I stared at him. “I better not.”

“May I ask you something, Ellie, my love?”

“Of course, but I’m not your love.”

“What’s Heaven like?”

I paused. “Why? That’s kind of random.”

He shrugged. “I’ve come to the realization recently that I am not invincible. I’m immortal, but there is a very real possibility that I will die in battle. Any of us could die. Nathaniel is gone. Since reapers don’t have an afterlife, I’ll never get to see what Heaven looks like. You’re the only angel I’m cool with, so I thought I’d ask you.”

I blinked. “I don’t know. I never remember Heaven. Never have.”

He frowned. “That’s too bad. I guess I will never know.”

“Marcus,” I said, examining his scars. “How did you get those scars?”

He pulled his collar wider. “Demonfire from the blade of one of the Fallen.”

“Who?”

“Belial,” he answered. “A long time ago, he was summoned by humans messing with angelic magic they had no business messing with. They wanted him to fight on their side in a war between men. They call it the Second World War. Thankfully the spell was short-lived, and Belial was sent back to Hell before he did too much damage. He killed three of my friends in the process and split me wide open from here”—he pointed to the right side of his rib cage and drew a line with his finger up to his cheek—“to here. His demonfire scarred me, but I survived.”

I absorbed his story, imagining the horror of it all.

“It’s okay, though,” he said with a grin. “The scar makes me look like a badass. Kate loves it.”

I laughed. “If you say so.”

My smile faded when his did, and he grew very serious suddenly. “Believe Will when he says he doesn’t want you to fight Sammael and Lilith until he knows you can beat them. Belial was Hell on two legs, Ellie. I wouldn’t be here right now if that spell hadn’t sucked that monster back to where he came from. Be patient. Grow as strong as you can, be as prepared as you can. Michael and the other angels don’t care what happens down here unless Heaven is compromised. If your soul is destroyed, then Earth will be at Lucifer’s mercy.”

“Do you think I can beat them?”

He studied my face, his sapphire gaze invasive. “You?” he asked. “No. Azrael? Maybe. Gabriel? Definitely.”

I nodded. I knew what we had to do: summon Azrael. If he couldn’t do it, then I needed to become an archangel, and I needed to stop worrying about what would happen to me once I did.

Will’s presence flooded over me, and I looked to see that he had wandered over to where Marcus and I were standing. His smile was pleasant. “Can I have her back yet?”

Marcus slapped Will’s shoulder, took a swig of his beer, and started to walk away. “Have your way with her.”

My hand rushed to my mouth as heat flushed into my cheeks.

Will dipped his head low to mine. “Ignore him. Are you having a good time?”

I pressed my body into his, just to feel the security his closeness offered me. “Yes. Are you?”

His hands came down on my shoulders and rested around my arms. “I am if you are.” His hands touched my waist.

I pushed my palms up his chest and around the back of his neck. I tilted my head back and he leaned forward, his face inches from my own. “Dance with me.”

“I can’t dance to this music. It’s not even music at all.”

“You’re a big bad demonic reaper hunter and you’re too shy to dance with me? That’s kind of sad in a huge way.”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“I could just order you to dance with me.”

He sighed and nuzzled my neck. “Don’t make me. I beg you.”

Shivers rushed through me. “You’re lucky you’re so cute. Otherwise I’d definitely make you do it.”

He kissed my shoulder. “You’re very merciful.”

I pulled away to look into his face. “How are you tonight? We can leave if you want to go home.”

He shook his head and smiled at me. “It’s your party. We’re not leaving.”

I smiled, happy to see him so willing to be with me in my human world. I hadn’t been out with my friends in … I didn’t even know when the last time was. I needed this, and I was grateful to him. I didn’t want to go anywhere without him. I touched my fingertips to his lips. His gaze softened. “You’re good to me,” I said.

“You’re everything to me.” He kissed my fingertips. “Let’s go back to your party.”

He took my hand and I followed him back out into the crowd of my friends, determined not to let the end of the world take this happiness, this single peaceful moment, from us.