“My love’s lips of cherry make me merry. Turgid nipples and tongue like a cat. I’d doth give her my hat for one hot kiss. Kiss, kiss, I miss my Glo,” Hatchet sang.
Glo looked down at herself. “What’s a turgid nipple? Is it good?”
Mrs. Kramer bustled into the bakery. “There’s a strange man outside singing about turgid nipples.” She looked at Glo. “I think he’s singing about your turgid nipples.”
Glo stormed out of the bakery and yelled at Hatchet. “Stop it this instant. You have no business singing about my nipples. You’ve never even seen them. And besides, nipples are private. How would you like it if I sang songs about your johnson?”
“I would like it,” Hatchet said.
“If you keep this up, I’m going to turn Broom loose on you.”
“How doth my johnson love thee?” Hatchet sang. “Let me count the ways. Upside down and round and round . . .”
Glo stomped back into the bakery and slammed the door shut.
“I’d like a loaf of seeded rye, sliced,” Mrs. Kramer said. “And two strawberry cupcakes.”
Diesel rolled into the bakery at noon, looking fresh as a daisy.
“You slept all morning, didn’t you?” I asked him.
“Not all morning.” He helped himself to coffee. “I see you have a minstrel today. I had my window down when I drove by, and he was singing about Glo’s fuzzy peach cheeks.”
Glo opened the bakery door and threw a bagel at Hatchet. It hit him in the head and knocked his hat off.
“Stop it!” Glo shouted at him. “I hate you.”
Mr. Ryan followed Glo back inside. “Do you have any cheese Danish left?”
“Sure,” Glo said. “How many would you like?”
“I hate to take you away from all this fun,” Diesel said, “but I have a meeting set up with Anarchy, and I need you to come with me.”
“Now?”
“I’m meeting her in the parking lot of the Waterfront Hotel. It shouldn’t take long. I’ll bring you back here after.”
I looked over at Clara. “Is that okay?”
“Yes. You’re done baking, and you can do cleanup when you get back. Take whatever time you need.”
“I’d really appreciate it if you’d jump the curb and run over Hatchet for me,” Glo said.
Diesel smiled at her. “He’s in love.”
I changed out of my chef coat, grabbed my shoulder bag, and we went out to the car.
“Why do I have to go with you? Do you need a witness to the defusing?”
“I’m not doing any defusing. The request has been withdrawn.”
“Why?”
“I suspect it has to do with Wulf. Technically, Anarchy has his power, and maybe he thinks he can get it back somehow.”
“Can’t you take it away from her and give it back to Wulf?”
“That’s not in my skill set.”
“Then why are we meeting with her?”
“I spoke to her this morning and told her we were ready to trade her half of the tablet for the real stone.”
“You don’t have the real stone.”
“She doesn’t know that,” Diesel said.
“When she finds out she’s been tricked again, she’s going to burn my house down.”
“Honey, she was going to burn your house down anyway.”
I felt my face screw up into a grimace.
“Don’t look so worried,” Diesel said. “I won’t let her burn your house down. Where would I sleep? Where would I eat?”
“Your own apartment?”
Diesel turned off Derby Street into the hotel parking lot. This was the middle of October, and it was crazy time in Salem. The streets were packed with gawkers, zombies, witches, and ghouls arriving early for Halloween. They came by chartered bus, hired limo, junker, and SUV. They mingled with the locals, some of whom already were a little nutty on their own, in the bars and shops, and they marched in the streets.
About twenty zombies were gathered in front of the hotel, most likely waiting for a tour bus. Anarchy was standing apart, closer to the waterfront, and she looked more like one of the zombies than like Dierdre Early. She was dressed in something Catwoman might wear, except without the mask with the ears. Her short black hair was slicked back. Her lips were bloodred. Her eyes were black-rimmed with heavy liner, and some of it had smeared. Hard to tell if the smears were by accident or design.
“Do you have a rock for her?” I asked him.
“It’s here on the console.”
I looked at the rock. It was very similar to the real thing. Smooth, small, brown.
“This is the wrong rock,” I said to him. “Her last rock looked like this, and she smashed it with a hammer.” I searched in my bag for the crystal I’d picked up in the grotto. “She can’t tell if the rock is empowered, and she doesn’t really know what it’s supposed to look like.” I found the crystal and held it out to him. “I put this in my purse just in case we needed it. Give her something pretty that looks like it would have some value.”
“Smart,” Diesel said. “I like it.”