Wicked Business

“Have you ever seen it work?”


“Yes. It’s not that interesting. The ball swings and hits different bells as it loses momentum. That’s the whole deal. And one of the bells is broken. It doesn’t make any noise. Just sort of a clunk.”

“Still, it’s interesting because it was part of the original museum.”

“That’s very true. There’s a little plaque on it. Most people don’t even see it because it’s inside the case.”

I went to the display and looked inside at the plaque. Motion Machine by Monroe Tichy, 1890. I touched the case with my fingertip and felt a small vibration and some heat. I was sure Hatchet had felt it as well.

Diesel and Carl joined me and looked at Monroe’s machine.

“I can feel a vibration,” I said to Diesel, “and the docent said there’s a bell that doesn’t ring. That could relate to the first part of the riddle that says silence speaks louder than words.”

“And it’s sealed up in a glass case, in a museum,” Diesel said. “Why isn’t anything ever easy?”

“Maybe the message will be revealed to us if we set the ball in motion,” I said to Diesel. “Can you get it to move? You know, think it to move or something?”

“That’s not in my skill set. I can’t make a cow fly, either.”

We stared at the display some more. The Motion Machine looked like something you might find in Sharper Image. One of those desktop gizmo presents for people who have everything.

“Unlocking things is in your skill set,” I said. “Can you open the case?”

“Yep. It has a little lock on the bottom where it’s attached to the pedestal. It’s similar to the kind of lock you find on jewelry cases in department stores. Problem is, what happens when I get it unlocked?”

“I guess you steal it.”

“Do you have a plan for that, too?”

“Carl and I will create a diversion, you put the Motion Machine in your backpack and walk out with it.”

“And what happens if I get caught?”

“I’ll swear I never saw you before in my life.”

“I guess it could work,” Diesel said.

“And if not, you can let yourself out of prison.”

“That’s cold,” Diesel said.

I smiled at him. “If you don’t get caught, I’ll be nice to you tonight.”

His eyebrows rose ever so slightly.

“How nice?” he asked.

“Very nice.”

“Will you come to bed naked?”

“No, but I’ll make you cookies.”

He grinned back at me. “No deal. If I pull this off, you have to come to bed naked.”

“That might encourage me to make sure you get caught.”

He shook his head. “You can’t do that. We have responsibilities.”

“Wouldn’t it be frustrating for me to come to bed naked?”

“I can deal.”

Yeah, I thought, but what about me? I could barely deal with all my clothes on.

“We’ll see,” I told him. “Try not to get caught.”

Diesel put his hand to the bottom of the case and moved his fingers across the little silver lock. “Done. Your turn.”

I looked down at Carl. “You need to create havoc in here,” I said. “We don’t want anyone looking at Diesel. And when I whistle, I want you to get out of the building and go to the car in the parking lot.”

“Chee,” Carl said. And he gave me a thumbs-up.

There were about twenty people in the area, plus the docent. Carl scampered across the room, snatched a woman’s purse, and ran off with it.

“My purse!” the woman shrieked. “The hairy kid took my purse.”

Everyone turned to the woman and then to Carl. Carl held the purse over his head and chattered. “Chee, chee, chee!”

“That’s not a kid. It’s a monkey!” someone said. “Grab him.”

The docent was on his phone, asking for security, and everyone in the room ran after Carl. Mothers, fathers, kids, and an old lady in a motorized scooter chased Carl.

Carl climbed Excogitation, got to the top, and dumped the contents of the purse. Metal balls were running on their tracks, ringing bells, swirling in baskets . . . and tissues, lipsticks, spare change, and assorted female junk rained down.

I’d been the one to set Carl loose, but I was as transfixed as everyone else, watching him swing from the thirty-foot sculpture like a monkey in the wild.

I looked over at Monroe’s Motion Machine and saw that it was gone, along with Diesel. The glass display case appeared perfectly intact but empty, and I thought it might take a while for anyone to notice the sculpture was missing. I speed-walked to the elevator and whistled for Carl. He leaped from Excogitation to the spiral staircase, scurried around two guards, dodged Hatchet, and catapulted himself into the elevator just as the doors began closing. Hatchet was close behind him, face red and snarly.

“It’s gone,” Hatchet said. “The case is empty. I discovered it first, and you stole it, and I want it.”