He knelt down to my level. “That’s not your fault, kid.”
“I know.” I swallowed hard before meeting his eyes. “No ventilator.”
His eyes narrowed on mine. “What? You mean…”
“If it comes to it, no ventilator,” I told him again.
His face softened, his eyes growing shadowed. “Alright.” He sighed. “Have you told them yet?”
I shook my head. “I’m almost ready. Give me a couple more days, until after Miles’ birthday.” I only needed a little more time. He reached out and squeezed my hand. Two decisions down, how many more to go?
Later that night
I shifted in my chair, trying to find a comfortable spot. There was only one sleeper chair, and everyone made sure that Ethan got it for the night. Especially when his pain meds stopped working. He was near the door, stretched out in the sleeper chair. Zeke was snoring in his chair in the corner of the room, Asher was out cold with his chin on his chest, Isaac had gone home, and Isaac had taken off a couple of hours before sunset. I shifted again. These chairs really did suck, but it was nothing compared to the anxiety running through me. The ‘what could have happened?’ scenarios; they were what was truly keeping me awake. I fingered the beads on my wrist.
The nurse came in, again. She woke Miles up, again. The poor guy wasn’t getting any sleep, not with the nurse waking him up every half hour.
The nurse left. Miles sighed and met my eyes. “Can’t sleep?”
I shrugged.
He carefully scooted to the left side of the bed and pulled back the covers.
Warmth filled my heart as I got to my feet and moved to the side of his bed. I slipped off my sandals and slowly climbed in. Miles lifted his good arm so I could move closer. I moved carefully to lay on my back. The bed was at an angle so that we weren’t lying down completely. He turned a bit more so he could look down at me.
Those emerald eyes were warm when they met mine. “Why can’t you sleep?” he whispered softly.
“My head won’t stop,” I admitted just as quietly, relaxing against him. “I keep running through everything that could have happened.”
He blinked at me, his eyes still glazed. “There’s something I want to tell you. Something about how worrying now is pointless. But I’m sure it’ll come out wrong...”
I fought back a grin as he frowned. “Your pain meds are pretty strong.”
He sighed. His brow drew together, his lips frowning. “I hate it, Angel. I hate feeling this way, not being able to think. So, I just lay here like a log and do nothing.” Did he just call me angel? Again? My stomach fluttered at the thought.
I reached up and gently touched his chin. “You’re healing. It’s okay to do nothing for a while.”
He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. “I still don’t like not being able to think.”
“I know, Nemo.” I lowered my hand to his chest and rested it there.
He opened his eyes and met mine again. “Stay here, get some sleep.”
My body warmed. “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”
“The bruising is all on my left side. You won’t hit them,” he promised. When I hesitated he added, “Please?”
I grinned as I curled up against him, my bent knees resting against his leg. Wintergreen filled my lungs. His hand gently ran up and down my back, soothing me. It wasn’t long before I fell asleep.
Isaac
The tequila burned as it went down my throat. Maybe this will shut the voice up. The music was blasting and ringing in my ears. I took another drink from the bottle before looking around. I was in the corner of the house of... some guy Josh knew. The party was crazy; everyone was wasted and it had the feel of a party that wouldn't end until morning.
It's my fault. The whole fucking thing was my fault. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back to rest on the back of the chair. If I hadn't taken the car this morning, Ethan wouldn't have been in Miles' car.
And Miles wouldn't have been at the intersection.
That damn voice! I took a deep drink. Shit. Why didn't I think of that earlier? Fuck. Rage burned in my gut along with that need again. I looked around me. Everyone was wasted. All it would take was one swing... I pushed myself out of the chair and to my feet. The tequila sloshed out of the bottle and onto the carpet.
I got to my feet and staggered through the crowd toward the door. The urge to hit someone tore through me. I moved a little faster. My hands shook as I got to the door. Air, I needed air. I walked out onto the grass and leaned against the tree in the middle of the yard. I took several deep breaths.
You almost got them killed, just like Sophie.
I... I needed to... Lexie. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone.
She's with Miles and Ethan.
I cursed and tried to stop the shaking. Lexie... I'm gonna see her tomorrow... Tapping my phone with my thumb, I brought up her picture again.
She's probably cuddled up with Ethan by now.
My heart raced as that urge came back, the urge for pain, to bleed. I took a deep drink from the bottle as I brought up my voicemail and listened to her message again. Tomorrow, she could tell me tomorrow. I swallowed hard. If I did do that to Sophie... Lexie would know. A hole burned in my chest as I took another drink.
“Hey, Isaac, what are ya doing?" Josh called from the door. Not now. He needed to stay away.
"Getting air," I told him as I kept looking at my phone. He came outside. My stomach burned. Couldn't he leave me the fuck alone?
Josh stood across from me. "What's with you?"
I shot him a glare. The urge to pound my fist into his face rolled over me. I focused on those green eyes on my phone.
"You and that Lexie chick broke up, didn't ya?" Josh asked with a smile. Rage ate at my control.
He thinks the worst of her, always has.
He needed to stop talking. Josh knew I didn't like it when he talked about Lexie. The shit always went too far. "No," I growled.
"Don't feel bad, at least you're off the bitch's leash,” he offered with a chuckle.
The world grew red. Fury crashed through me, making me shake. I looked up from my phone and met his eyes. That motherfucker. Something dark washed over me.
I dropped the phone and the bottle before lunging at Josh.
Chapter 11
Wednesday
I woke up slowly, Miles’ scent surrounding me. Miles, the wreck, hospital. It came rushing back. I opened my eyes. Miles’ eyes were closed, his breathing deep and even. He was alright. As I woke up I realized the hand of Miles’ broken arm was on the inside of my bent knee. His warm fingers rested on sensitive skin. I tried not to feel the tingle running up my thigh. The strange feeling of being watched had me opening my eyes. I turned my head and looked around the hospital room.
Zeke was in his chair in the corner. His phone was in his hands, but he wasn’t looking at it. He was looking at us with a longing on his face so intense it took my breath away. His eyes met mine and the look was gone, as if it had never been. He went back to looking at his phone and ignoring me. Was, was he jealous that I was cuddling with Miles? That didn’t feel right. That wasn’t jealousy I saw.
Carefully, I slipped out of Miles’ bed and walked out into the hallway. There was no way I was using the bathroom in the room with Asher in there. Finding the one from yesterday, I went inside.
I was walking back down the hall to the room when Asher stepped out into the hall, running his hand through his hair.
Asher spotted me. “Hey, I’m heading down to the cafeteria to bring breakfast up. I could use a hand.”
“Coffee is on the menu, right?” I asked, still feeling groggy.
He grinned. “First thing.”
“Good,” I muttered as we headed down the hall.
Apparently, the cafeteria was in the basement and Asher knew the way. We both grabbed a tray and started pouring coffee. Asher cursed.
“What?” I asked as I put a lid on a black coffee for Zeke.