“To what?” I asked softly.
He lifted his head. “You know what.” He turned and walked several feet away.
Death. He wanted to see how close he could get to dying? My chest burned as I moved to stand in front of him. “What were you thinking up there today?”
He sighed and looked away. “That if I get close enough, maybe it will go away.”
“Isaac, do you know what it was like when you were underwater today?” I asked, tears rolling down my cheeks. “I thought you were dead. An overreaction, probably, but it’s where my mind went.” I looked down at the ground. I couldn’t look at him and tell him. “I saw the world without you, and it…” I took a deep breath, my lungs growing tight as I met his eyes. “There were no more pranks, no more jokes, no more hugs, no more you. And I don’t know if I could…” I took a deep breath and looked away. I had to try to make him understand. They couldn’t lose both of us. “Isaac. You have people who love you. Hell, I love you. I don’t want to lose you. Or see you get hurt.” He shook his head as if to deny it. “Cookie Monster, what if it was me?” His gaze snapped to mine. “What if I was the one on that ledge today, and you were the one who had to watch?”
He looked away. “I don’t want to think about that.”
“Because it hurts,” I told him before I reached up and placed my hand over the center of his chest. “Because it feels like you can’t breathe. That your heart is going to shatter and never be put back together.”
He reached up and held my hand against his hard chest before he met my eyes.
“That’s what you do to us every time you pull a stunt like that.” I didn’t know how else to make him understand. “We love you. We can’t lose you.”
He swallowed hard and pulled me against him again. I admit, I held on to him as hard as I could. I looked up at him and met his eyes. He wiped the tears from my cheeks again before bending down and resting his forehead against mine.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed. I reached up and held his face in my hands. We held each other for several minutes, just like that. Then the band started playing ‘I’m Yours’ by The Script.
“Dance with me, Red,” he whispered. I smiled and slid my hands down his neck and over his shoulders. He lifted his head. I stepped closer and rested my head on his shoulder. He rested his cheek against my hair and started slowly dancing with me. I breathed in limes, and peace slipped through me. I knew there was more he wasn’t telling me, but he had let me in a little. With the music, and his arms around me as he danced with me in the dark, it was enough. I stayed against him, not caring that it was hot or that we were both sweating. All that mattered was that he was here, dancing with me, breathing and alive. And that’s all I needed tonight.
Zeke pulled up to Rory’s house. He’d been quiet most of the night. Then again, I didn’t mind. After talking with Isaac I was pretty tired. He put the Jeep in park. I stared at the house. Tara’s car was in the driveway. Joy.
“Lexie?”
“Huh?”
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
I focused on the now. “Nothing, um, that talk with Isaac just wiped me out.” I looked back at the house. “And I still have to walk Hades.” I took off my seatbelt.
“You’re going to walk Hades now?” he asked. “At ten-thirty at night?”
I shrugged. “He’s been in the house or in the backyard all day. He needs a walk.” I opened the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He shut off the Jeep and took off his seatbelt. “I’m walking with you,” he grumbled.
“Zeke.” I turned back to find him already getting out of the car.
“Don’t even start,” he growled. I sighed and got out of the car. Zeke was already heading for the door. He unlocked it before I reached him. Hades ran out between his legs and jumped on me.
“Hi, baby,” I cooed at the dog as I scratched his ears. He dropped back to all four feet and rushed to Zeke.
Zeke knelt down and got a lick to the cheek. “Not the face, Hades,” he grumbled. The dog just wagged his tail happily as Zeke put his leash on him. He moved to his feet, closed the door, and handed me the leash.
We started down the side of the road in comfortable silence. Zeke stayed on the street side. The heat was finally easing up. The crickets were chirping We were two blocks away when I looked up at him. His face was hard, his eyes unfocused on the road.
“You okay, Tough Guy?” I asked, my voice quiet in the night.
He looked down at me, his face softening a little. “Just thinking.” His voice was the soft one he used with me once in a while. I loved that voice.
“About what?” When he didn’t say anything, I took a guess. “You have homework from your doc, right?” Zeke’s shrink often gave him ‘homework’, which was usually him talking to me about something.
He nodded before turning back to look down the block.
I looked down at Hades. “Are you ready to talk about it?”
“Do we have to talk?” His voice was almost a whisper.
I met his eyes again. They were tired, and quite frankly, so was I. “No,” I said. “Having you around is enough.”
The corner of his lips twitched.
We continued walking with Hades on my right and Zeke on my left. It was a nice, relaxing walk in comfortable silence. No issues, no talking, just being together. That long walk gave me peace and helped me feel better.
I never knew silence could be like that. Reviving. Renewing.
Isaac
I rolled over again and punched the pillow into shape. Lexie kept filling my mind; her eyes, her touch, the smell of rosemary. Cursing, I rolled onto my back and closed my eyes. The feel of her dancing with me. Yeah, dancing with her wasn’t new, but this… this time it was different. This time she was pressed against me, her skin under my fingertips. This time I wanted to kiss her. I tried to imagine how that would go. Looking down at her emerald eyes, holding her pretty face, and pressing my lips to hers. Only to be slapped and shoved away. I blinked, shook my head and tried again, only she slapped me again and called me a loser this time.
I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. Even in my fantasies I couldn’t kiss her! What did I expect?
She doesn’t love you.
The words vibrated in my mind, shredding my heart. No shit. But she said she did…
That doesn’t mean she’s in love with you. There’s no way. You’re a bug under her shoe. She didn’t even come by the stand - she sent Asher. She can’t stand looking at you.
I was right. Deep down I knew I was. Lexie was loving; she loved and cared about everyone. That didn’t make me special. Hell, I killed Sophie. As soon as she realized it, she’d be gone. I’m nothing, and I mean nothing to her.
Unable to lay here anymore, I threw the covers off me and got up. I pulled on my clothes from today. Rosemary drifted off my clothes. My cock hardened against my zipper. God damn it. I shoved my feet into my shoes and left the house. I needed to walk, maybe even run. Anything to get my head to stop.
Chapter 7
Sunday
Ethan
I was going downstairs when the front door opened. Isaac walked in, wearing the same clothes from last night.
“Hey, where were you?” I asked as I reached the first floor. “We’re going to be late for Miles’.” Isaac’s eyes had heavy bags under them, his hair was a mess, even his face was pale. “Don’t tell me you’re getting sick, ’cause I’ll leave your ass at home.”
Isaac didn’t even look at me as he passed me and headed up the stairs. What the…?
“Are you coming to Miles’ house?” I asked. Isaac said nothing as he slammed his bedroom door behind him. My eyebrows went up. That’s a hell no.
Lexie
I had just hung up my phone after leaving another message on Serena’s phone. That witch had yet to get back to me. I had questions about what I had seen the other night. And I had already called her twice. The front door opened.
“Here!” Ethan shouted.
“Kitchen!” Everyone else shouted back.