Wyatt lifted his head, and something in his eyes made her shiver. “That’s not goin’ to happen. I’m not givin’ you up, so lie still and let’s talk this out.”
She shook her head, the crushing weight in her chest settling over her heart. “You aren’t thinking straight, Wyatt. You’re a rescuer. You think I need to be rescued. When there’s no let up, you’ll see I’m right. This won’t work. Do you really think I can get pregnant every single time you leave? That’s the solution? Years will go by and something terrible will happen because this isn’t going to stop.”
She was pleading with him. She’d worked up the courage to leave, but she was leaving behind every single thing that was good. Everything that meant anything to her. She knew it was a form of suicide; once she was away from him, from the children and Nonny, she’d be dead inside. But this was Wyatt and her children and she was – unclean.
“First, babe, we’re workin’ on the problem, and there are birth control pills that simulate pregnancy. If that works, it’s an easy solution. If not, we’ll come up with an answer. And second, more importantly, you did what you needed to do to save Malichai. To save me. To save Nonny. Braden’s soldiers weren’t particularly fast, but they didn’t have many vulnerable spots on them. They weren’t smart, but they kept comin’. You did what you had to do, Pepper.”
“You didn’t see their faces, Wyatt. You didn’t see what I did to them. Just skin-to-skin contact. Mouth to mouth.” She said it deliberately to rile him.
Wyatt didn’t even wince when she told him. He didn’t even blink, nor did his eyes move from hers. “That was combat, baby. You weren’t doin’ anythin’ wrong. I’m not upset with you. I know that hurt to look at them, it should hurt. When it doesn’, that’s when we know we’re in trouble.”
Wyatt watched her face. Her eyes. She was breaking his heart. She thought so little of herself. She didn’t see her own courage. She had known when she’d taken that soldier out what it was going to cost her and she’d done it anyway. For him. The girls. Nonny. Malichai. Hell, for the entire team.
“I know what you had to do, babe, but you did it for us. To save us. That’s what people who love one another do. They save each other by any means available to them. You weren’ goin’ to bring that soldier down with a bullet or a knife, not and keep him from sprayin’ the operatin’ room with bullets. I didn’ have an assistant other than Nonny and I was havin’ a hell of a time keepin’ Malichai alive. Without you, all of us would have been dead.”
She shook her head, looking so sad his heart stuttered in his chest. He held her there, the strong column of his thigh pinning her down while he blanketed her body with his own. He was careful not to crush her, but he took no chances. She was well trained and skilled in hand-to-hand combat. She just didn’t want to hurt him.
“Talk to me, sugar.” He bent his head and pressed a kiss to her throat. “You have to talk this out with me. We have an agreement and I’m holdin’ you to it.”
She ran her fingers through his hair. Gently. Lovingly. He felt love for her, rising like a tide deep inside of him. She had no clue, and he only had words and his body to show her what she meant to him. He didn’t blame her that she didn’t trust that he knew for certain what he wanted. She’d had so little time with him.
He brushed his mouth down her throat to her sternum, pressed more kisses there. One hand slid up to her blouse with those little buttons he liked so much. Her hand caught at his as he slid them open.
“Wyatt, think about this. Think with your brain. You’re so smart. You know how this is going to end.”
“It’s goin’ to end with you underneath me and my cock inside of you. That’s how it’s goin’ to end, baby. But I want to hear everythin’ you’ve got to say so I can put those fears to rest. I just prefer you sayin’ it when you have no clothes on.” He slid three more buttons free before her hands stopped him. He settled his mouth on her skin, his tongue sliding down to taste the sweet curve of the tops of her breasts.
“Wyatt, why can’t you just let me go? You’re making this so hard for me.”
“Babe.” He swept aside the last of the buttons and pulled her blouse open. “You’re wearin’ my favorite bra.” He bent his head to her right breast and sucked at her nipple through the fine lace. She gasped. Her body trembled beneath his.
He lifted his head and smiled at her. “I’m never goin’ to make it easy for you to leave me. If I have to keep you tied to my bed, then that’s what I’m goin’ to do. The thing is, Pepper, I love you the way you are. You think you’re flawed, but I know you’re perfect for me. We fit. We’re supposed to be together.”