Until I Die

There was still so much I didn’t know. Vincent had told me the basics about revenants, and I had learned more by spending time with him and his kindred. Of course, I had searched for revenants on the internet as soon as I knew what Vincent was. But all I had found were references to the old French tradition of a revenant being a “spirit that has come back from the dead” and all sorts of contemporary spin-offs like zombies and other undead monsters. Nothing that spoke of “real” revenants—the ones I knew.

 

I asked Vincent once if “revenant” was just the word used in France. He said that most languages used that same word with little variation, because it came from the Latin word venio: “to come.” So that was what I had to start with: the word “revenant”; a basic knowledge of what they were; the fact that their enemies were depicted on an ancient Greek vase; and . . . nothing else. It wasn’t much to go on, but I was determined that if anything revenant-related remained in Papy’s library, I would find it.

 

I left my barely touched meal and hurried to his study. All four walls were lined with shelves. And all the shelves were packed with books. I had no idea where to start. Although some titles were in French and English, that didn’t even account for half. I recognized Italian and German, and Cyrillic letters clued me in that some books were Russian. At first glance, I felt completely overwhelmed.

 

Break it down, I thought. I started at the bookcase closest to the door, pulling up a footstool to reach the highest shelf. The Church of Hagia Sofia. Architecture in the Ancient World. Roman Architecture and City Planning. Papy obviously organized his books by themes. The shelf beneath it was the same. As was the next.

 

Underneath that began a shelf on Chinese funerary statues. And the bottom shelf was all about ancient Asian seals and snuffboxes. That was one whole column of shelves that could be ruled out, and it took only five minutes. This might be easier than I thought.

 

An hour later, I had narrowed down Papy’s entire library to six shelves of interest. Although there were dozens of books on Greek pottery, I wasn’t going to pore over all of them to find another example like Papy’s numa amphora. Even if I was lucky enough to find one, it probably wouldn’t have the in-depth information I needed. No, it was the shelves on mythology that I would focus on.

 

I began flipping through tomes on Greek, Roman and Norse mythology. But they were all published in the twentieth century and were the type of books found in any library. Besides listing the major gods, the mythological beings were all the typical ones you’d come across in a Narnia book: satyrs, wood nymphs, and the like. No revenants. Of course.

 

If they had managed to stay incognito for so long, they wouldn’t appear in a mainstream book. I began to skip anything that looked like it had been printed in the last hundred years and inspected more closely those that seemed to have been created on an ancient printing press. Papy protected most of these in archival boxes. One by one I pulled the boxes out, placed them on his desk, and gently went through their contents. Some were just pages of manuscript, and I studied the old parchments for any words that looked like “revenant” or “numa.” Nothing.

 

Finally I got to an ancient-looking bestiary—a type of old-fashioned monster manual. The margins were illustrated with pictures of the mythical beings described on the page. Or so I assumed, since I couldn’t make heads or tails of the Latin text.

 

Flipping past griffins and unicorns and mermaids, I came across a page with an illustration of two men. One was drawn with an evil face, and the other had radiant lines around its head like it was shining. Its entry was entitled “Revenant: Bardia/Numa.”

 

I shook my head in amazement. Trust Papy to have a book illustrating a species of undead beings who are so meticulous about preserving their identity that they’re completely unknown to the modern world.

 

A shiver of excitement ran down my spine as I tried to decrypt the short paragraph beneath the heading. But besides those first three words, I didn’t recognize a thing. I felt like kicking myself for not taking more than a year of Latin in middle school. I pulled a sheet of paper from Papy’s printer and carefully copied the text onto it. When I finished, I put the book back in its place, grabbed the Latin dictionary off Papy’s reference shelf, and retreated to my bedroom.

 

Due to Latin’s weird verb tenses and the fact that there seemed to be no order to where words appeared in a sentence, I worked on the short text for quite a while. Finally I had deciphered enough to understand that it defined revenants as immortals who are divided into the guardians of life—bardia—and the takers of life—numa. That both types are limited by the same rules of “death sleep” and “spirit walking.” That they take power from their human saves or kills. And that they are virtually impossible to destroy.

 

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