I picked up my backpack and slid down the rough hill, covering the distance in just a few moments. I headed back to our original campsite more worried about facing the two tigers than about getting lost. I wasn’t sure I could face either Kishan or Ren after what I had just seen.
With only a couple hours of sunlight left, I set off at a brisk pace, made it back to the log, and crossed the river before the sun had set. I slowed during the last few miles. Darkness was falling, and rain clouds had moved in. Sprinkles hit my face, and the path grew wet and slippery, but the real downpour didn’t hit until I was back at the campground.
I wondered if the rain was now falling on the tigers and figured that would probably be a good thing, so it could wash the blood off their faces and drive off the flies. I involuntarily shuddered.
At that moment, the idea of food disgusted me. I climbed into my tent and sang happy songs from the Wizard of Oz to get my mind off the dis-turbing images I’d just seen, hoping that it would help me fall asleep. It backfired on me, though, because after I fell asleep, I dreamed of the cowardly lion tearing chunks out of Dorothy.
16
Kelsey’s Dream
Dorothy and Toto turned into other disturbing dreams. Alone and lost, I was running in the darkness. I couldn’t find Ren, and something evil was chasing me. I had to get away. Strange, grasping fingers reached out to pull my clothes and hair. They scraped my skin and tried to drag me off the path. I knew if they did, they would ensnare and destroy me.
I turned a corner, entered a large room, and saw a dark, villainous man dressed in rich amethyst robes. He was standing over another man tied to a large table. I watched from a dark corner as he raised a sharp, curved knife into the air. The man chanted softly in a language I didn’t understand.
Somehow, I knew I had to save his captive in the nightmare. I launched myself at the man with the knife and pulled on his arm, trying to wrestle the knife from his hand. My hand started to burn bright red, and sparks crackled.
‘No, Kelsey! Stop!’
I looked down at the altar and gasped. It was Ren! His body was torn and bloody, and his hands were bound over his head.
‘Kells . . . get out of here! Save yourself! I’m doing this so he can’t find you.’
‘No! I won’t let you! Ren, change into a tiger. Run!’
He shook his head frantically and said loudly, ‘Durga! I accept! Do it now!’
‘What is it? What do you need Durga to do?’ I said.
The man began chanting again loudly, and, despite my feeble efforts to stop him, he raised the blade and plunged it into Ren’s heart. I screamed. My heart beat in sick rhythm with his. With each thud, his strength diminished. His damaged heart beat slower and slower until it stalled and finally stopped.
Tears rolled down my face. I felt a terrible, cutting pain. I watched Ren’s lifeblood drip down the table and pool on the tiled floor. Slumping to the ground on my hands and knees, I choked on my emotions.
Ren’s death was unbearable. If he was dead, then so was I. I was drowning in sorrow; I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t have any will left to drive me. There was no incentive, no voice urging me to fight back, to kick for the surface, to rise above the pain. Nothing could make me breathe or make me live again.
The room disappeared, and I was shrouded in blackness once again. The dream changed. I was wearing a golden dress and ornate jewelry. Seated on a beautiful chair on a high dais, I looked down to see Ren standing on the floor in front of me. I smiled at him and held out my hand, but Kishan grabbed it as he sat down beside me.
I glanced at Kishan, confused. He was smiling smugly at Ren. When I turned back to Ren again, his anger was white hot, and he glared at me with hatred and fiery contempt.
I struggled to free my hand from Kishan’s grasp, but he wouldn’t let me go. Before I could free myself, Ren changed into a tiger and ran into the jungle. I screamed after him, but he couldn’t hear me. He wouldn’t hear me.
Wind whipped the cream-colored drapes, and storm clouds rushed in, pushed along by the brisk wind. The clouds blanketed the trees and darkened the sky. Lightning struck in several places. I heard a mighty roar echo across the landscape. It was the impetus I needed. I wrenched my hand out of Kishan’s and ran into the squall.
Rain began to beat the ground, slowing my progress as I searched for Ren. My beautiful golden sandals were stripped away, stuck in the thick mud created by the downpour. I couldn’t find him anywhere. I pushed my dripping hair out of my eyes and shouted, ‘Ren! Ren! Where are you?’
A thunderbolt struck a nearby tree with a mighty boom. Fragments of bark shot out in every direction as the tree cracked, and the trunk twisted and splintered. It crashed down and pinned me to the ground with its branches.
‘Ren!’
Muddy rainwater pooled under me. I carefully squirmed and twisted my bruised, aching body until I could slither out from under the tree. The golden dress was ripped and torn, and my skin was covered with bloody scratches.
I yelled again, ‘Ren! Please come back! I need you!’
I was cold and shaking, but I continued running through the jungle, tripping over roots and shoving aside gray, prickly undergrowth. Searching and yelling while running, I wove between trees looking for him. I forlornly begged, ‘Ren, please don’t leave me!’
Finally, I spotted a white form loping through the trees and doubled my efforts to catch up to him. My dress caught on a thorny bush, but I fiercely dug my way through it, determined to reach him. I followed the path of lightning strikes in the jungle nearby.
I wasn’t afraid of the lightning, though it hit close enough that I could smell burned wood. The lightning guided me to Ren. I found him lying on the ground. Large burn marks scorched his white fur where lightning bolts had repeatedly struck him. Somehow, I knew I had done it. I was the one responsible for his pain.
I stroked his head and the soft, silky fur of his neck and cried, ‘Ren, I didn’t want this. How could this happen?’
He changed to a man and whispered, ‘You lost faith in me, Kelsey.’
I shook my head in denial. Tears streaked down my cheeks. ‘No, I didn’t. I wouldn’t!’
He couldn’t look me in the eyes. ‘Iadala, you left me.’
I threw my arms around him desperately. ‘No, Ren! I’ll never leave you.’
‘But you did. You walked away. Was it too much to ask you to wait for me? To believe in me?’
I sobbed forlornly. ‘But, I didn’t know. I didn’t know.’
‘It’s too late now, priyatama. This time, I’m leaving you.’ He closed his eyes and died.
I shook his limp body. ‘No. No! Ren, come back. Please come back!’
Tears mixed with rain and blurred my vision. I angrily brushed them from my eyes, and when I opened them again, I saw not just him but also my parents, my grandmother, and Mr. Kadam. They were all lying on the ground dead. I was alone and surrounded by death.
I cried and shouted over and over, ‘No! It can’t be! It can’t be!’
A black anguish seeped through my body. Thick and viscous, it oozed through my core and dribbled down my limbs. I felt so heavy, so full of despair, and so alone. I held onto Ren and rocked his body back and forth, unconsciously trying to comfort myself. But I found no relief.
Then, I wasn’t alone anymore. I realized that it wasn’t me rocking Ren, but someone else was rocking me, and holding me tightly. I became alert enough to know that I had been dreaming but the pain of the dream still engulfed me.
My face was wet with real tears and the storm had been real. Wind surged through the trees outside pushing a hard rain to beat against the canvas. A lightning bolt struck a nearby tree and briefly lit up my small tent. In the flash, I made out dark wet hair, golden skin, and a white shirt.
‘Ren?’