“Does it stir up memories?”
She eyed him, searching for any sign of mockery. “Sometimes.”
“Memories of your parents?” He reached to help her stack the remaining books.
Celaena stood suddenly. “Don’t ask such stupid questions.”
“I’m sorry if I pried.”
She didn’t respond. The door in her mind that she kept locked at all times had been cracked open by the question, and now she tried frantically to close it. Seeing his face, seeing him so near to her . . . The door shut and she turned the key.
“It’s just,” he said, oblivious to the battle that had just occurred, “it’s just that I don’t know anything about you.”
“I’m an assassin.” Her heartbeat calmed. “That’s all there is to know.”
“Yes,” he said with a sigh. “But why is it so wrong for me to want to know more? Like how you became an assassin—and what things were like for you before that.”
“It’s not interesting.”
“I wouldn’t find it boring.” She didn’t say anything. “Please? One question—and I promise, nothing too sensitive.”
Her mouth twisted to the side and she looked at the table. What harm was there in a question? She could choose not to reply. “Very well.”
He grinned. “I need a moment to think of a good one.” She rolled her eyes, but sat down. After a few seconds, he asked, “Why do you like music so much?”
She made a face. “You said nothing sensitive!”
“Is it that prying? How different is that from asking why you like to read?”
“No, no. That question is fine.” She let out a long breath through her nose and stared at the table. “I like music,” she said slowly, “because when I hear it, I . . . I lose myself within myself, if that makes sense. I become empty and full all at once, and I can feel the whole earth roiling around me. When I play, I’m not . . . for once, I’m not destroying. I’m creating.” She chewed on her lip. “I used to want to be a healer. Back when I was . . . Back before this became my profession, when I was almost too young to remember, I wanted to be a healer.” She shrugged. “Music reminds me of that feeling.” She laughed under her breath. “I’ve never told anyone that,” she admitted, then saw his smile. “Don’t mock me.”
He shook his head, wiping the smile from his lips. “I’m not mocking you—I’m just . . .”
“Unused to hearing people speak from the heart?”
“Well, yes.”
She smiled slightly. “Now it’s my turn. Are there any limitations?”
“No.” He tucked his hands behind his head. “I’m not nearly as private as you are.”
She made a face as she thought of the question. “Why aren’t you married yet?”
“Married? I’m nineteen!”
“Yes, but you’re the Crown Prince.”
He crossed his arms. She tried not to notice the cut of muscle that shifted just beneath the fabric of his shirt. “Ask another question.”
“I want to hear your answer—it must be interesting if you’re so ardently resisting.”
He looked at the window and the snow that swirled beyond. “I’m not married,” he said softly, “because I can’t stomach the idea of marrying a woman inferior to me in mind and spirit. It would mean the death of my soul.”
“Marriage is a legal contract—it’s not a sacred thing. As Crown Prince, you should have given up such fanciful notions. What if you’re ordered to marry for the sake of alliance? Would you start a war because of your romantic ideals?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Oh? Your father wouldn’t command you to marry some princess in order to strengthen his empire?”
“My father has an army to do that for him.”
“You could easily love some woman on the side. Marriage doesn’t mean you can’t love other people.”
His sapphire eyes flashed. “You marry the person you love—and none other,” he said, and she laughed. “You’re mocking me! You’re laughing in my face!”
“You deserve to be laughed at for such foolish thoughts! I spoke from my soul; you speak only from selfishness.”
“You’re remarkably judgmental.”
“What’s the point in having a mind if you don’t use it to make judgments?”
“What’s the point in having a heart if you don’t use it to spare others from the harsh judgments of your mind?”
“Oh, well said, Your Highness!” He stared at her sullenly. “Come now. I didn’t wound you that severely.”
“You’ve attempted to ruin my dreams and ideals. I get enough from my mother as it is. You’re just being cruel.”
“I’m being practical. There’s a difference. And you’re the Crown Prince of Adarlan. You’re in a position where it’s possible for you to change Erilea for the better. You could help create a world where true love isn’t needed to secure a happy ending.”
“And what sort of world would I need to create for that to happen?”
“A world where men govern themselves.”