Threads of Desire (Spellcraft)

Chapter Twelve

Ily was like a sleepwalker. She hadn’t eaten—and she always ate. He liked to watch her, the way her lips flushed with the wine. The way her eyes hooded when she particularly enjoyed something. That soft hum in her throat. He’d ordered her favorites, slivers of raw whitefish and the sharpest cheese he could find, the crusty bread that Jani made each day. But in the morning the tray lay in the hallway untouched.

He should be pleased. She’d agreed to help Nira and that, after all, was the most important thing. For Nira, he’d risk everything. He had, twice over. And she was worth every sacrifice.

But he’d taken everything from Ily too.

Funny, he’d thought he would give her everything. Shelter. Food. Money. Himself. Pleasure upon pleasure. He’d wanted to bind her to him, to make it impossible for her to say no.

But he’d seen it in her eyes at the school. She would have said no, dropped everything to the ground and run away from him. In the end, she’d only agreed to help him for Nira’s sake. Not greed or comfort or lust. The simple desire to protect a child. He’d come to suspect that she might willingly help him but by then it was too late to change course.

After searching her rooms and seeing that they were empty, he found her in the workroom. The muscles in her shoulders tensed when he entered, and she stood. “It’s finished.”

He came and looked over her shoulder. The border...it was the same pattern as the windows in his bedroom. He wondered if she realized it. “It’s beautiful.”

You think the emperor will be pleased?”

I can’t imagine he could be otherwise. You’re very talented.”

He wanted badly to touch her but didn’t dare.

Red,” she said in a distracted voice. “I should have ringed the medallion with a thin red line. It would have been magnificently dramatic.”

It’s perfect the way it is. Maybe next time—”

Her laugh was short and hard, nothing that he’d ever heard from her. She’d been wary as a hare when he’d found her but eminently self-composed. She seemed fragile now, as if she’d splinter into a thousand shards if he touched her. He’d been so clever, luring her to feed from his hand. She’d been hard on the outside then, but so gloriously warm and soft on the inside. That laugh was very bitter, very cold.

I told you I’d teach Nira. The rug is completed. Why are you here, Kal?”

For you.”

You’ve had me,” she said quietly. “And I begged you for that pleasure. You should be pleased. It was never free though, was it? Nira was always the price.”

She’s my daughter, not a weapon...or a fee.”

I thought I could win, but I didn’t even know the game we were playing.”

There were tears in her eyes when she turned around, and all of his practiced words of explanation died on his tongue.

You are so proud, so sure of yourself. Did you not care for me at all?”

Of course I did. This was not a game, Ily. Never a contest to see who could sell more in the marketplace or barter the better deal. This is my daughter’s life. I had to protect her.”

No one had protected Ily from the monsters in this world, from the man whose duty it was to protect the youth in his charge, not prey upon them. She’d been hurt badly and despite that she’d begun to trust him. He was only beginning to realize the enormity of the mistake he’d made. “I crossed a line. I shouldn’t have taken you to bed until after you knew the truth and understood the entirety of what I wanted of you.”

You are very stupid, Kal, when I thought you were so clever. I was the one who asked you to bed.”

I was grateful for every moment.”

Grateful,” she sneered. “I’m not angry about the sex. I wanted it. You were right about that from the beginning.” Glistening eyes, bright as diamonds. “I was so easy for you to read, like a gullible child.”

Ironic, that. He couldn’t read her now. He knew she was hurting and that he was the cause. He felt that he’d betrayed her, but they’d negotiated every detail. If she wasn’t angry about the sex, he did not understand.

She swiped at her face and her shoulders sagged. “You didn’t have to be kind. To make me feel safe here. I wouldn’t have turned my back on a child. You didn’t have to make me love you.”

He rocked back on his heels, joy and loss crashing into him at the same time. Love. He hadn’t let himself dare hope.

That’s not...Ily,” he called out, but she continued toward the door with quick determined strides.

He was not clever. He was the dumbest ox of a man. He caught her arm, felt the muscles tighten under his grip, but he didn’t release her. Despite her promises, he didn’t trust her not to run.

She spun in his arms and lifted her chin defiantly. He touched her cheek, feathering his fingers over her sticky damp skin. Her eyes were rimmed in red, magnificently dramatic. His heart was like a rock in his chest. “Don’t tangle this. The commission, Nira. They have nothing to do with what is between us.”

You tangled this. Why did you seek me out in the marketplace?”

His jaw clenched. He barely understood it himself. He’d seen her, he’d wanted her, he’d recognized what she was and saw a hope for Nira. All coming together in one perfect moment, one perfect person. He’d reached for everything.

She loved him. He should tell her he loved her. But what did he know of love? His father had trained him to rule. The only love he’d gotten was the devotion of servants, his brief infatuation with Salina, Nira’s mother. He’d only been seventeen then, and she ten years older. From Iril, her people believed blindness was a curse. She’d wanted nothing to do with their child and learning that, he’d wanted nothing more to do with her.

At every turn, what he learned of Ily only made him want her more.

He opened his mouth to try to put that into words. She stepped into him, lifting her body at the same time she grabbed his face and pulled him down. Too stunned to pull away, he accepted her kiss. Her delicious mouth, salty with tears. Still soft and sweet and perfect.

Ily? What are you doing?”

She muttered something into his mouth. The words were muffled by his lips, but they didn’t sound complimentary. She pulled back just enough to look in his eyes.

I’m untangling it.”

What—?”

She nibbled all along his lower lip before catching it in her teeth and giving it a sharp tug.

This won’t untangle anything.” He grabbed her ass, locking her body against his, pressing his erection into her belly. “We should talk.”

Talk?” She shook her head, a strand of hair caught in the stubble on his jaw. “I want to know if it was all a lie.”

He tipped her face up. “You think I didn’t want you? Sweetling, I’m not that good of a liar.”

The twist at the edge of her mouth said she disagreed, but she didn’t argue. Her deft hands busied themselves with removing his clothes. He helped her. Eager, willing, desperate to ease her in any way possible. But this was wrong. He thought she meant to punish herself or him with this. That she meant to break them as thoroughly as possible. Not untangle, she wanted to unravel them. She was tearing at the threads that bound them just as she tore at her clothes.

A warm bundle of firm female flesh hit against his chest and his arms came up to gather her. How not? Even if she was trying to prove something to him, or herself, he couldn’t turn her away.

She was frantic and he tried to slow her. It made for an awkward dance, her wanting brutality and him working to seduce. She bit his lip and he tentatively caressed hers with his tongue. She tugged at his hair and he brushed hers from her eyes. She wrapped her hand around his cock and he groaned, closing his eyes and pumping into her fist.

She hissed and his eyes snapped open. Focus. He cradled her face, bracing his legs as she tried to push him back onto the cushions, or the rug, he couldn’t be sure which. Her eyes were wild, but he waited until they fixed on his face. “I love you, I want you to stay.”

She tried to turn her head, but he didn’t let go. “Please, Ily.”

A shudder passed through her. She trembled beneath his fingertips, all raw anguish and frantic energy. He needed to convince her. He kissed her temple, moved his mouth across the graceful curve of her cheek, touched the corner of her mouth. Her lips twitched, parted. He traced her mouth with his tongue, licked his way inside.

She shoved him back, hard. His ankles caught on the edge of the raised platform and he landed flat on his back in the center of the rug. Ily’s eyes flashed silver white and the threads crept up his arms, layering themselves around his wrists and ankles, binding him in place.

He pulled against their weight, but he was well and truly bound. A chill passed over his skin. She was very angry.

Don’t struggle,” she said. “You’ll ruin it.”

He stilled, thinking at first that she meant she would end this. Not climb onto his body as she was doing now, not straddle him so that her soft nest of curls tickled the base of his cock. Then he realized she was talking about the stupid rug.

I don’t care about the rug.”

She braced her hands on his chest and flicked her tongue over his nipple. “I happen to know that you care very much.”

You understand nothing.” He flexed his arm and heard an awful tearing noise. The thread didn’t actually break. He’d seen to it that she’d had the best, hadn’t he? But he managed to loosen it just enough that he was able to slip one arm free.

She glared bloody murder at him. The horrific image of his blue and lifeless corpse trapped in thread flashed through his mind. “You’re not going to murder me with a rug, are you, Ily? Allow me some dignity. There’s a knife in my belt.”

Another strong pull and his other arm was free. She was angry, but there was a hint of humor in her eyes when she said, “You don’t deserve the knife. If I’d intended to murder you, I would have wrapped the threads around your neck not your arms.”

He caught her and rolled, pinning her weight to the rug. “Where would be the fun in that?”

You’ve destroyed it.”

He kissed her nose, her chin. “You’ll make me another.”

I’ll charge you triple the price...quadruple. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into when I accepted the commission. I didn’t know my benefactor was such an unscrupulous man.”

He laughed because she had believed that he was a supremely unscrupulous man when she’d accepted the commission and they both knew it. Relief flooded through his body because—thank the gods—she was teasing him, softening with every breath she took. “I never suspected my artist would attempt to weave me into her masterpiece.”

A vibration in her chest that might have been laughter. There was tenderness in her eyes but still wariness. He hated it, would drive that doubt away with any tools at his disposal.

It was a good deal of work, wasted.”

Next time, you can weave red into the border. Make a hundred, a thousand. I’ll buy them all. Better yet, I’ll hand over to you all that I own. Only say that you’ll stay with me, in my home, in my bed. Please, Ily.”

She closed her eyes for a long moment. When she opened them, he saw her uncertainty and a slim hope rose in his chest. But she wasn’t giving in yet. “You’re trying to buy me again. I’m not a whore.”

She was baiting him. They both knew she’d only offered herself as a whore because proud Ily couldn’t accept that she hungered for an aristo. He hadn’t let her hide behind the lie then and he wouldn’t be baited now. Bending his head, he kissed her gently, stealing the bitterness from her lips. “Will you be my wife?”

Her body tightened and he realized he’d pressed too far. But then, before he could force his arms to open, she began to relax. Slowly, the tension in her muscles eased until she was warm and pliant beneath him.

You mean that.”

With utter gravity, he stared into her eyes, laying bare his soul to her searching gaze. “It would be best if Nira were with us. We could move somewhere else if you’d rather live away from the court.”

The guild doesn’t have an office in Cresa,” she said, and he was encouraged that she hadn’t rejected the idea outright.

I have a house there, it’s small.”

A hovel, I’m sure.”

He touched her cheek. “Is this yes, Ily? Please say that it’s yes.”

You’re sure I’m what you want? I meant it when I said I’d help Nira regardless. I’ll even complete this commission if you wish.”

I want you. Help Nira. Forget the rug. I’ll hire someone else to cast it and—”

Don’t you dare.”

A smile tugged at his mouth but he managed to contain it. “I won’t. No masters but you, Ily.”

He kissed her long and deep and when he raised his head, there were tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. He kissed them away before returning to her mouth. He was very aware that she hadn’t answered his question, but he wouldn’t press her. She’d given him so much, he wouldn’t demand more.

Kal.” The word was a breath against his lips. “I want you inside of me...now.”

No hardship to fulfill that request. He pushed inside her, planting himself as deeply in her body as she was planted in his heart.

I don’t know how to trust you.”

He propped himself onto his arms so he could look into her eyes. Heartbreaking honesty there and fear paired with a courage that humbled him. “My fault, I’m sorry I deceived you.”

You didn’t have a choice, not if you wanted to protect Nira.”

Even so.” It was his one regret. He’d known the first time he’d met Ily that he could trust her, but he’d doubted his instincts. And with Nira’s life at stake, he’d had to be sure. “You don’t have to answer now. When you’re ready, I’ll—”

Yes,” she said and at the same time, she tilted her hips, twining her legs through his until they were bound tightly together.

A smile burst wide and bright across her delicate features, lighting her eyes and making his mouth curve in answer. Still he couldn’t resist. “Yes, you’ll be my wife or yes, you’ll recast the rug?”

Her laughter vibrated through his cock. “Yes, to both. If you really mean it—” Her words cut off with a gasp. And when she caught her breath, it was to say, “That again, slower. Please.”

He did, again and again, until her thighs began to tremble and she closed her eyes. Her head tipped back, exposing the elegant line of her neck. She looked as if she were straining for something just out of reach and he had the honor of helping her reach it.

He slowed even more, wanting to draw out her orgasm for as long as he was able. He watched her lips part, felt the shiver that ran over her exposed skin. Her body clamped down on his cock and brought him to the very brink of release. Hold out, just a while longer. He stilled when she did, though his cock throbbed and his balls were drawn tight. Not yet. He brushed a strand of hair from her cheek and kissed the spot, waited for her to blink open her eyes and grant him that shy smile. She wasn’t truly shy, or meek or as cold-hearted as she liked to pretend. She was a wonder and a gift. His. She was his. Thread to thread, tied tight as a knot.

Tenderness wrapped around his heart and he gave himself over to her. All of him. Everything.