The Mermaid's Mirror

Chapter 41

Time drifted in loose, lazy ripples. Lena forgot to keep track of how long she had been in the world beneath the waves. Her mornings were spent attending lessons with the youngest children, and her afternoons were spent with Nix. When it was time for sleep, she retired with her mother to the cave for the Riven. They talked until they grew drowsy, and then Lena slept, dreams of sunlight and half-remembered faces flickering through her subconscious. When she awoke, it was always a relief to find herself still among the mer-folk.

Sometimes she sat cross-legged, studying the way her legs and feet bent to accommodate her weight. She plucked idly at the yarn braid on her ankle, no longer remembering where it came from. If I had a tail, thought Lena, I could swim as fast as everyone else. As fast as Nix.

Lena found that her thoughts returned obsessively to the idea of a tail. Was it a similar process to being Riven ... except, well, the opposite? Did it hurt? Certainly, it would make life easier here in the world beneath the waves. She was a proficient swimmer, but there was no question that even the youngest mermaid child swam faster than she did. Nix seemed not to mind, but she hated knowing that she slowed him down when they foraged together. She wanted to be his equal.

And she had to admit: it would be nice to blend in, instead of being stared at all the time. Her legs were still a source of constant fascination to most of the villagers. Lena stretched them out in front of her, running her hands down the muscles of her thighs. How would it work? Would her muscles melt ... or would her legs just kind of seal themselves together?

But really, all questions boiled down to one: was it permanent?

***

"Where did you find those pearls for your ears?" asked Nix.

He was seated across from Lena at the large stone dining table. They had unloaded baskets of mollusks from their most recent forage, and were enjoying some refreshing kelp juice. He reached across the table to brush Lena's hair back from her face, caressing her cheek.

"They were a gift," she said.

"Yes? Who gave you such precious gems?"

"A sea otter," she answered, her face warming under his touch.

Nix laughed. "A sea otter? I have never heard of such a thing."

Lena laughed, too. "You're right. How can that be?" She tried to remember. "It was ... oh! On my birthday! The pearls were in a little pink box. Hmm. It seems impossible, but I keep picturing a sea otter holding out the box to me."

"Then it must be so. What a generous otter."

Lena smiled. "I first saw my mother on my birthday. It was the best day of my life."

"Was it?" he said softly. "This is the best day of my life." He left his side of the table and settled next to Lena. Cupping her face with both hands, he leaned close.

Lena had an instant to think, I hope he doesn't stop this time, before the universe narrowed down to the two of them, lips joined, arms sliding around each other. The table, the village, the sea, disappeared. There were only lips and tongues and teeth.

After several long, sweet minutes, they broke apart. Lena grabbed Nix's hand, and held it hard against her chest, so he could feel her heart race. Nix took her other hand and pressed it to his chest, so she could feel the answering rhythm. "I love you, Selena," he whispered.

"I love you, Nix," she said.

At last they became aware of their surroundings once more, realizing that half the village seemed to be transfixed, staring unabashedly at them. A voice called out, "Blessings on their love!" and when Lena turned to see who it was, she saw Lorelei, her face bright with happiness.

Most of the villagers were smiling and nodding ... even Scylla, Lena noticed. Then she caught sight of her grandmother, who merely studied them for a long, appraising moment, then swam away.

***

Although it would have been unthinkable in her old life, in this world, the idea of marrying Nix did not seem outrageous.

"Never leave me," he sometimes whispered in Lena's mind, and she tightened her arms around him, promising with her fierce embrace.

Even Lena's grandmother, disapproving at first, had finally relented. "I see you are not to be separated," she said. "I feared for your heart, Nix, but it appears that the land child intends to stay."With an expression of amusement, she added, "Perhaps one day she will even relinquish that wretched human garment."

Lena was used to being teased about her jacket. She intended to remove it ... after all, she couldn't wear it forever, but first she needed to take off the cloak. And that thought made her a little bit apprehensive. She wanted to be quite certain her desire to live among mer-folk was strong enough to support her body in this element.

Someday, perhaps she would go back to the land. Her father—was it Brian or Byron?—must miss her, but he would understand her desire to stay with her mother and explore the half of her heritage that had lain dormant for sixteen years.

And the others in her life?

Lena mused on them for a moment. There were surely people on land who would mourn her loss ... but she could no longer remember them.

***

"Mama," said Lena. "Who do I ask for a tail?" She lay with her head in her mother's lap, half-asleep from the caress of Melusina's fingers through her hair.

Her mother's hand jerked, and Lena could feel her body stiffen.

Lena sat up. "Mama?"

"Who told you that?"

Lena studied her mother's tight expression. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"You ... you are not to ask for a tail." Her mother rose and began to swim around the cave ... the undersea version of pacing. "Promise me, Selena!"

Lena stared, then said slowly, "I don't understand. Why can't I have a tail if I want one?"

Her mother's swimming grew more agitated. "They are your legs. Your beautiful legs! How could you even think of relinquishing them?"

Lena felt a flare of anger. "You are asking me this?You, who chose to be Riven?"

Melusina sank down on the bed of seaweed again. She put her face in her hands.

Lena could hear some of her mother's thoughts—she was too upset to Cloud them.

Her long, strong legs ... her lovely moonbeam feet ... How can I make her understand?...But how do I dare to object?...Why would anyone surrender the ability to walk?...Oh, no, no, no...

"Mama," she said. "Please calm down. I'm only asking. Can't you answer some questions? Or do I have to find someone else to tell me?"

Melusina looked at Lena with haunted eyes, but she managed to compose herself. "I will answer."

"Good," said Lena. "Well, I mainly want to know if it's permanent ... or can I change back to having legs when I want to go on land?"

"You want to return to land?" Melusina's voice trembled.

Lena sighed. "Not right now. I'm just asking."

"No one knows with certainty," said her mother. "No human has transformed for many generations. Our legends tell of those who made the change, but they are unclear on whether or not those humans ever regained their legs."

Lena made an exasperated sound. "How can they be unclear? You guys have a song for everything, even one to tell a human when it's time to take off the cloak! There must be some little rhyme about transforming." Suddenly, Lena sensed her mother Clouding her response. "There is. You just don't want to tell me."

"Selena, you are far too young to make such a grave decision when the consequences are in doubt." Melusina tried to force a smile. "What a childish notion!"

Lena rose and faced her mother, unsmiling. "I am not a child. What I choose to do with my body is no one's business." She paused, then said deliberately, "Not even my mother's." She swam toward the entrance of the cave.

"Tender maiden," called Melusina. "Please stay. We shall talk more."

Lena left the cave.

***

"Oh, cousin," said Lorelei. "Look at these garnets! Havfine found a pouch of jewels on his last exploration. I'm going to add them to my necklace. He's very sweet, is he not? And he has asked me to accompany him to the surface later." She fingered her necklace, already heavy with various gems and pearls. "Do you like him?"

Havfine was an adventurous young merman, always jaunting off to exotic locales. Lena did like him, but she was too impatient for girl-talk. "Hav is very nice," she said. "Lori, I want to know how to get a tail."

Lorelei's smile faded.

"Please. My mother won't tell me."

"Then I should certainly not!"

Lena put her hand on Lorelei's arm. "Lorelei. I am in love with Nix. You know I am."

Lorelei's expression softened. "Anyone who looks at you knows that."

"I want to be his equal. My legs slow me down."

"But what if ... what if you want to return to land?"

"That's what I need to find out: whether the change is permanent. My mother says no one knows for sure, because it's been so long since anyone asked for a tail."

"It's—" Lorelei looked down at the blood-red jewels in her hand. "I've heard it's painful."

Lena nodded. That made sense.

Lorelei sang:

"The twain of human legs, with their bones and blood and flesh,

Must knit with tears and pain, as the mermaid's tail doth mesh."

"I understand. But ... is there no song about getting the legs back?"

Lorelei looked uncomfortable. "There is one song."

"Good! Sing it, please."

"It's an ancient song, cousin. Your mother is right ... no human has made the change in recent history. The song must be considered more legend than fact."

"Sing it, please," repeated Lena more firmly.

Lorelei closed her eyes and sang:

"The riving light will take a mermaid's tail,

cleaving it hard in two.

When she walks into the welcoming sea,

her tail returns anew.

The burning sand will take a human's legs,

leaving a strong sleek tail.

When she abandons the clasp of the sea,

her legs return, though frail."

"Her legs return," said Lena. "There's the answer!"

"Frail," said Lorelei. "Did you not listen?"

"I heard. So they're weak ... the song doesn't say they're lame."

"Oh, curse Halia!" cried Lorelei. "It was she who put this idea in your head."

"I'm glad she did. How does it work? Who do I ask?"

Lorelei shoved her handful of garnets back into their pouch and turned away. "I have said enough. And I'm sorry, Selena, but I must get ready for ... for ... I need to surface."

Lena regarded her cousin for a moment, then said, "Then I will find Halia. She seems to know about transforming."

"No!" Lorelei grabbed Lena's arm. "Don't go to Halia. She is my friend, but she is perhaps not the kindest of maids. I will tell you what you wish to know." Lorelei's voice grew hushed. "There is a goddess of the sand. Her name is Psamanthe."

"Psamanthe," murmured Lena. "A goddess of the sand? Like an actual Greek goddess?"

Lorelei said reluctantly, "She is the one you would ask for a tail."

"Can you take me to her?"

"She doesn't live here in the village." Lorelei shook her head as if the idea were preposterous. "She lives in an underground cavern near the shore."

"How do we find her?"

Lorelei fingered the leather pouch holding her garnets. Then she poured them out into her hand again, sifting them between her fingers. Finally she answered, "Hav will know. He travels far and wide. I will ask him, if you like. Are you quite sure, dear cousin?" She looked wistfully at Lena's legs. "They're such pretty limbs. Why would you risk losing them forever?"

"It's not forever. The song said so. And even if—" Lena swallowed. "Even if it were, I probably wouldn't mind. A tail would anchor me to this world."

Lorelei's gaze was full of sorrow. "Or perhaps it would merely imprison you."