The Mermaid's Mirror

Chapter 40

"Fossegrim, please put aside your flute," said Merrow. He floated in front of the group of young children, waiting for quiet.

Fossegrim lay his flute on the seafloor next to him and beamed up at Merrow. "Will you teach us more about the care of seahorses? Mine keep dying."

Lena suppressed a giggle. In this world, pet seahorses lasted about as long as goldfish or box turtles did on land.

"Another time," said Merrow. "Today we will practice our Clouding."

"Oh, that's hard," sighed Syrenka. She turned to Lena. "You're not very good at it."

Now Lena's giggle burst out. "I know, Syrenka. I'm trying, though. Where I come from, we talk out loud instead of with our minds, so we don't have to learn Clouding."

Lena loved to take lessons with the children—on land, she supposed they would be five or six years old. For some reason, she was filled with happiness when she was with them, although sometimes the sight of their rounded cheeks and bright eyes caused a nameless ache inside her.

Merrow lifted his hands, as if conducting an orchestra, and began, "Clouds are kind..."

The children sang the rhyme that reminded them to obscure their thoughts when necessary:

"Clouds are kind to everyone.

Some thoughts are just for me.

Clouding works and it is fun!

Some thoughts are not to see."

It was true that Lena was still struggling to cloud her private thoughts from regular speech. But she practiced diligently, because she worried that too many people could read her thoughts about Nix. And those thoughts were definitely private.

Merrow described various methods of Clouding while the children listened. "Perhaps you may visualize a blanket of seaweed covering up your unkind thoughts," he said. "Or a large clamshell closing around your angry thoughts. What do you picture, Thoosa, when you want to hide your thoughts?"

Thoosa piped up, "I picture a cloud of squid ink!"

"Very good. And you, Achelous?"

"I picture an upside-down basket on top of my mean thoughts."

Merrow smiled. "Lena? Do you have a particular image that works for you?"

"Yes," said Lena. "I picture a curtain falling over my private thoughts."

"What's a curtain?" asked Thoosa.

"Oh," said Lena. "You don't have windows. Well, see ... okay, let me explain what a house is. On land, humans live in these things called houses. And windows are—"

"Selena," interrupted Merrow. "Let us talk of houses another day. These children are a bit young to comprehend human dwellings. We teach those concepts when they are older. I believe I know what you mean by a curtain, and that image will work quite well for Clouding." He continued on with the lesson. "Lealiki, what do you picture when you want to hide your thoughts?"

Nix appeared at the edge of the school circle, and Lena did not hear another word her grandfather said.

"Shall I teach you to find food?" he asked. His voice was quiet, but Lena felt the pull of his presence like the tide feels the moon.

She dropped a mental curtain over her own thoughts: I can't believe that gorgeous merman wants to be with me.

"May I be excused, Grandfather?" she asked.

Merrow nodded, and Lena swam quickly to Nix's side. He took both of her hands in his large ones. Warmth spread from Lena's fingers all the way to her toes.

"I shall expect a great bounty for my evening meal," Merrow called after them, and they laughed.

Nix released one of her hands but kept hold of the other one, and they swam slowly away from the village. "I confess my offer is made out of self-interest."

"Oh?"

"If I teach you to find food..." He looked at her slyly. "We will have time alone together."

"That's brilliant," sighed Lena.

As they foraged for abalone, Lena did her best to explain how humans acquired food.

"The food is already packaged," she said. "And sold in—" But there was no word for stores in their language. "...in public centers."

"Circles?"

"Um, no. In public buildings. You've seen human buildings, yes?"

"Yes." Nix loved to travel and had seen many human coastal towns, wearing his sealskin cloak as a disguise. "So workers gather the food from the ground and carry it to the centers?"

"Yes!" said Lena. "Farmers grow the crops, harvest them, and sell them in stores. I mean, public centers. Other people raise—" Again, there was no word for livestock in their language. "...certain animals for food. And of course," she said, smiling, "fishermen catch fish for people to eat, too."

"Does no one forage? As we are doing?"

"Well, not really. Some people do. They go out picking—" She thought of berries and mushrooms. "Um, foods that grow in the ground," she amended. "And some people hunt and kill animals for their own families. But most people just buy their food at the ... public center. Using money."

"Ah, yes, money," said Nix. Lena had already explained the concept of money to him. "I like foraging," he said. "Wondering what the sea will yield ... discovering a nest of turtle eggs or a new kelp forest. It must be strange to see so many kinds of food arrayed in one place, and never to know the people who provided it."

Lena smiled. "It does sound strange, when you put it that way. But we have so many, many people on land. Not like the village, where you know everyone."

Nix slowed in his swimming. "It seems a miracle, does it not? That you, from the wide world, should come to our small village." He spoke as if he still couldn't quite believe it.

"No, it's not a miracle," said Lena. "This is my mother's home. It was inevitable that I would come here."

"But you were separated for so long! What if your father had removed you from the town of your birth? You and Melusina might never have found each other."

"True," said Lena, shivering. "I only wish we had found each other years ago." She paused. A wisp of doubt niggled at her. But if we had found each other years ago, she thought ... and her mind encountered a white space that had once been filled with memories.

"I would like to see the place where your parents met," said Nix. "Will you show me?"

"I don't know how to find it," said Lena, and the wispy doubt blossomed into a vague worry. What if she wanted to go there?

"Can you describe it to me?"

Lena pictured Magic's. "There is a large cove. On the northernmost point, there is a lighthouse." Luckily, mer- folk had a word for lighthouse. Roughly translated, it meant "tower of pulsing light." She closed her eyes to better see the beach in her memory. "On the southern end of the cove, there is a long, jagged jetty. Shipwreck Rocks. The beach between the rocks and the lighthouse is called Magic Crescent Cove. The waves there are sometimes huge ... very dangerous to humans, but they cannot resist trying to conquer them." She opened her eyes.

Nix had a wondering expression on his face. "It was you," he said.

"What was me?"

"I knew I have seen you before. You are the girl who greets us."

Lena looked at him in confusion, then in dawning comprehension. The sea lions! All those times she had waved at seals and sea lions ... some of them hadn't been animals at all. Some of them had been mer-folk, wearing their cloaks. "That was you?"

Nix reached for her hand. "I knew there was a reason."

"A reason for what?" she said faintly.

"For the way I feel about you." Nix pulled her closer.

Lena's gaze moved from his dark, soulful eyes to his beautiful lips. He's going to kiss me, she thought.

But after a long moment, Nix pulled back, straightening her cloak. He seemed worried that he might have caused it to slip.

Lena looked down at the cloak. It might be protecting her ... but it was getting in the way, too.

***

After the day's catch had been deposited in the village kitchen—shark eggs and spiny king crabs—Lena and Nix stacked their collection baskets in what Lena thought of as the "supply closet," which was really just an area used for storing tools.

Then they floated together, not speaking, loath to say goodbye.

"May I be with you later?" asked Nix.

"Yes, please," said Lena, her gaze moving again to his lips. She felt her fingers twitch with the urge to touch those lips. They looked so soft, so full ... Too late, she realized she should have Clouded her thoughts.

Nix took her hand and lifted it to his lips. With his eyes never leaving hers, he slowly kissed each of Lena's fingers. Desire suffused Lena, like sand soaking up water.

Nix released her hand, then backed away, finally departing.

In a lovestruck daze, Lena drifted toward the village circle.

"Cousin!" Lorelei grabbed Lena's arm and pulled her toward a trio of young mermaids. "Is it true?" she asked, her eyes wide. "Are you going to marry Nix?"

"What?!" Lena's own eyes went wide. She looked around at the other mermaids, who were staring with interest at her.

"Everyone speaks of it," said Lorelei. "How Nix, who has never taken a mate, cannot be pried away from your side." Lorelei shook Lena's arm playfully.

"I ... we ... we're not getting married!" said Lena. "I'm only sixteen. People my age don't marry. Not where I come from."

"Sixteen?" asked a mermaid with light brown hair. "You are quite a baby. In that case, it is right that you send him away."

"Send him away?" Lena's bewilderment grew. "I'm not going to send him away. I love—" She hesitated. "Being with him. But we're not, um, mated. We're just getting to know each other. I'm sorry ... I don't remember your name."

"Russ."

"Russ?" repeated Lena.

"Short for Rusalka," said the girl. "This is Wata." She pointed to another mermaid.

"And I'm Halia," piped up a third mermaid. "No doubt Nix is fascinated by your legs!" She giggled, oblivious to the effect her remark had on Lena, who was stung by it.

"Idon't—"

"Well," said Lorelei. "It is a fact that Nix has never shown a fraction of the interest he shows you to any other maid. For a time it was believed he might want to mate with Scylla. Did you meet Scylla?"

"I ... wait. Scylla? As in Scylla, the sea monster? Six mouths? Liked to eat sailors? I thought that was a myth."

"No," said Rusalka, shaking her head so that her long hair danced. "Not a myth. But our Scylla is perfectly lovely." Her white, translucent face quirked in a smile. "Our Scylla possesses one mouth only, and does not dine on sailors. It is her ancestor who was turned into a monster. And to be fair, that Scylla was a great beauty, before her unfortunate transformation."

"Never mind all that ancient history," said Lorelei. "As I was saying, for a time we believed Nix might want to mate with Scylla. He invited her to the Gifting of the Cloaks last spring, and he sometimes dined with her family. But Scylla says—" She lowered her voice. "His eyes were never alight with love in her presence. She could see no future in them."

Lena caught her breath. I see love and light in Nix's eyes, she thought. And the more I look, the more I see the future.

"But everyone notices how he seeks you out, and looks at you with intense desire. Do you think it is the legs?"

Lena glared. "It's not my legs!"

Lorelei looked surprised. "No? They're very clever." She reached down and touched Lena's kneecaps. "Especially these hard, bony parts. So unexpected."

"Why do you not remove your cloak?" asked Halia. "You have been here ages, and yet you still wear it."

"I want to remove it," said Lena. "But I need it to survive down here."

"Oh," said Lorelei, looking sympathetic. "Did Auntie Lu not explain? When your heart tells you true, it will be safe to take off the cloak. Then you will breathe like the rest of us."

"She told me," said Lena. "But how will I know for sure?"

"I just told you. Your heart will tell you true."

Lena rolled her eyes. What did that mean?

Wata touched her arm. "You must not feel uncertainty. Do not remove the cloak if you do." Her expression was worried.

"I won't," said Lena. She shifted under its weight. "Although I want to take it off! It feels so heavy now."

"Ah." Lorelei looked relieved. "That is the beginning."

The other mermaids nodded.

"The beginning of what?" asked Lena.

All four mermaids chorused together:

"When the weight of fathoms presses down on you,

The moment for doffing the cloak is due."

Lena laughed. "Does everything have a song?"

"Of course," said Rusalka. "How else does one remember things?"

Lena noticed that Halia was staring at her legs. "Um, did you want to touch them?"

The mermaid startled, then tried to pretend indifference. "I do not envy you your clumsy legs." But her avid gaze said otherwise.

Lena shrugged. "They're only clumsy down here."

"Well, since you offer," said Halia, and she stretched out a hand quickly, feeling the muscles and sinews of Lena's leg. Then she grasped Lena's foot, examining it with the scrutiny of a scientist. After a long moment, she said to Lorelei, "They are clever, aren't they? So much stronger than they look. And so very many bones! It would be a shame to give them up."

"Give them up?" said Lena. "What are you talking about?"

"Won't you ask for a tail?" said Halia.

Lena just stared.

"Halia," said Lorelei. "I do not think—"

"Surely you intend to transform," persisted the mermaid.

"Halia! You speak nonsense." This time it was Wata who chided Halia. She said to Lena, "It is a myth. We do not know of any humans getting tails."

"But—" said Lena. "Up until a few weeks ago, I would have said that mermaids were a myth."

The mermaids shifted uneasily.

"I spoke hastily," said Halia. "Pay no mind." But her amber eyes held a sly light.

"How does someone ask for a tail?" said Lena. " Who does one ask?"

But the mermaids were drifting away from her.

"I believe I hear my mother calling," said Rusalka.

The others nodded, as if a chorus of mothers had begun clamoring for them. And they fled.

***

Brian woke up on the beach.

He jerked upright, scanning the waves with eyes that peered out of a sunburned face. What if she'd come back while he was sleeping? But the surface of the sea remained empty. For the first time since Lena's disappearance, tears rolled down his cheeks, now thin and covered by a beard.

She's not coming back.

He stood and looked down the beach, almost hoping to see Allie heading his way. But it was barely dawn, and Allie was asleep at home. He moved stiffly toward the rocks and clambered up. When he reached the place where Lena and Lucy had jumped, he stared down into the dark, inviting depths.

It would be so easy ... Two more steps and he would be in the clasp of the sea.

Brian picked up Lena's shoes—still waiting on the rocks—and turned to head home.