The Mermaid's Mirror

Chapter 30

My darling Selena,

You are four weeks old today, and already I cannot imagine life without you.

I thought I knew what love meant before you came ... now I know that mother-love is more powerful than any other kind. The idea of being separated from you is unthinkable.

But I take up this pen today, knowing that if you are reading this, it means that we have been parted. The unthinkable has happened.

The only force that could take me away from you is as ancient as mother-love: magic. On this day in the future when you read these words, know that I would never leave you. I may have been taken from you by magic ... but please know, my precious maid, I would never go willingly.

Your loving mother

"Would never leave me? She's swimming around in the ocean and I'm sitting here in the house with you and Allie and Cole. She left me." Lena was surprised to feel a lump in her throat again.

"No," insisted her dad. "I told you ... the moment that cloak was on her body, she had no choice." He raised his voice, old loyalty flaring to life. "In fact, Lena, I'd bet my life that your mother made sure you were safe first, then walked down the street with a broken heart, not even knowing why she was crying. So let's show her some mercy, all right?"

Lena swallowed. "Okay. I'm sorry." She hesitated, then asked, "Dad? Where was the cloak?"

He stood up. Lena thought he was going to refuse to answer, but instead he headed for the sliding-glass door. "Come with me," he said, taking a flashlight from the desk drawer.

She followed him outside to the garden. It was dark. As in a fairy tale, the moon swelled above them, full and faintly yellow. Lena thought of her mother, hiding in secrecy, waiting for the full moon to transform her beautiful tail into legs.

They could hear the sound of the surf in the distance. Lena's dad turned on the flashlight, and they picked their way carefully through the obstacle course of Cole's toys in the backyard. He stopped and shone the light along the length of the fence. It was adorned with stone garden sculptures: a long-bearded god of wind, his cheeks puffed out, a smiling sun, a sleeping moon, a spouting whale, a dolphin, and a mermaid.

"Don't tell me you buried it under the sculpture of the mermaid!" exclaimed Lena.

He grinned. "No. I may not be a smart man, but even I am not that obvious."

She watched as he lifted the dolphin off the fence and turned it over. On the back of the dolphin sculpture, there was a hollowed-out space. It was empty.

"This is where I kept the key," he said. "I don't know how she found it." He shook his head, as if he still had trouble believing it. "I never saw her act like she was searching for the cloak, but I don't know. Maybe mermaids can't help searching for their cloaks, whether they want to or not."

Lena's knees felt weak, and she sat down on Cole's plastic picnic table. It seemed almost inevitable that events would lead her mother back to the sea. "Where was it?"

"The cloak was in the chest. I kept it hidden in the crawl space above the garage."

"What crawl space?"

He gave a half-smile. "See? No one even knows it's there. The chest was in a box that was taped shut, surrounded by other boxes, and covered with clothes. It just looked like a big pile of junk. I don't know how she found it."

Lena pictured her mother searching for the cloak—maybe not even aware she was doing it—then she thought of her own search to find the lock for the key. One quest had torn her mother from Lena, the other had given her back.

"Now it's my turn to ask some questions," said her dad. "You said Lucy gave you the key." He swallowed. "So you've seen her. You were... with her? At Magic's?"

"I was at Magic's," said Lena carefully. She didn't want to tell her dad she'd been close to drowning. "But I wasn't with her. I didn't know she was there at first. I was in the water, and she, um, put the key into my hand."

Her dad stared.

"I didn't know she was my mother. But I saw her once before. It was on my birthday!" she said. "And I kept looking for her after that."

"Lena," said her dad. "You surfed at Magic's?"

"I thought she might be there. And I was right."

Her dad shook his head, muttering, "I knew it." He pinned his gaze on her. "Now do you understand? Now do you see why I didn't want you to surf? Once you learned, how could I keep you from Magic's?"

"You couldn't," said Lena.

They sat silently for a moment.

Finally her dad said with a sigh, "I've been such an idiot. Trying to keep a half-mermaid from surfing!" Then he smiled wistfully. "How do you like it?"

Lena's face glowed. "Oh, Dad, I love it so much. When I'm out there, it's like I'm—" She sighed. "I don't think I can even describe it. I feel like I'm in church ... like I'm close to God, or something. Like the earth is so huge, but while I'm in the ocean, it feels like I'm in all the oceans on the planet, or something. How can you stand not to surf?"

He looked away, turning his eyes to the moon. "I can stand it."

"Dad," Lena said, struck by a new question. "You met at Magic's. Wouldn't she have come back to Magic's eventually? Did you look for her?" I would have haunted Magic's every day for the rest of my life until I found her, she thought.

Her father was silent.

"Dad," she persisted.

He made an impatient gesture with his hands. "Lena, stop."

"No," she said, raising her voice. "This is my story. If you won't tell me, who will?" An idea struck her. "Except Mom. She knows everything, doesn't she? I can ask her."

Her dad rounded on her. "Leave Allie alone. This is hard enough on her."

"She's my mother!" shouted Lena, and for a second, she wasn't sure which mother she meant. They were both, truly, her mothers. One gave her life, the other gave her everything else.

Her dad paced back and forth. "Please, Lena. Please trust me."

"Trust you?" She made a sound of disbelief. "Are you kidding?" She moved toward the door. "Fine. Mom will tell me."

Her dad grabbed her arm, then let go. "Wait." He stared inside the house, as if looking for answers. After a moment, without turning his gaze to Lena, he said quietly, "I was safe in the water as long as I was with her."

"What?"

"I was safe ... in the water..." He faced Lena. "...as long as I was with Lucy."

Lena looked at him in confusion.

"Your mother's parents—your grandparents—had found out about her plan to live on land, and they were ... not happy. That day we were headed to Lucy's village, before we ever got there, a group of mer-folk accosted us." He paused, remembering. "It was chaos. All of these voices in my head ... yelling ... threatening..."

"In your head?"

"That's how they communicate. In thoughts."

"Oh." Lena almost asked, In English? But she didn't want to interrupt again.

"Someone grabbed me and started to drag me away. Someone else—I think it was her mother—ordered Lucy to be restrained."

Lena swallowed. Her own mother?

"She pleaded to go with me, but they wouldn't let her. The only reason I'm alive today is that Lucy's brother—your uncle—followed the mermen who took me away. When they stripped the cloak off me and left me half-conscious in the water, he carried me to shore. He risked his own life to save mine."

"But—" said Lena. "Lucy got away later. How?"

"They tried to feed her lotus blossoms, to take away her memory, but she wouldn't eat them. She stopped eating entirely. Rather than watch her die, her parents allowed her to leave, finally."

Lena sat still and silent, trying to absorb this tale of love so tragic, it rivaled anything by Shakespeare. After a time, she said, "I still don't understand why you didn't go back to Magic's after she left us. I know the surf is rough, but you were a great surfer, right? Once she saw you again, she would've remembered."

He massaged his head, as if that old injury had flared to life. "That day ... that day under the water ... there were so many voices. But someone ... someone with power—I could feel the words in my head like thunder—someone swore that if I ever set foot in the sea again, they would destroy me."

"Who was it?"

He sighed. "I think ... it was your grandmother."

Lena shivered. "But how could she do that?"

"I don't know. I just know Lucy told me I was safe in the water as long as I was with her." Her dad stared sightlessly toward the sea, remembering. "Once I lost her, I was willing to risk my life to find her. But I couldn't."

He opened the sliding-glass door and paused, turning back to say, "I've never forgotten those words." He closed his eyes, chanting:

"Man, beware: I banish you from the sea.

The cold salt clasp is forbidden to you.

Death will be quick should you fail to heed me,

And those you love will die gasping in blue."

With a bitter sound, he added, "Their version of 'sleep with the fishes,' I guess." He stepped inside the house. "Do you understand now? You, and everyone else I love, are safe in the water ... as long as I stay out of it."

Lena watched him close the sliding-glass door and walk away, but she stood alone in the garden for a long time, unable to make her trembling legs work.