If only, he thought. If only.
No1 sat on the front step, flanked by a squad of LEP officers bristling with the latest weaponry. Artemis knew that his DNA was coded into their guns, and all they had to do was select his icon from a list and there would be no escape. Jayjay had wrapped himself around the demon’s crown like a hunting cap and seemed most comfortable there. He roused himself when he saw Artemis and leaped into the boy’s arms. A dozen LEP rifles instantly beeped, and Artemis guessed that his icon was being selected.
“Hello there, little fellow. How do you like the present?”
No1 answered for the lemur. “He likes it fine. Especially now that no one will be sticking any needles in his head.”
Artemis nodded. “You duplicated the fluid. I thought that might be an option. Where is Dr. Schalke?”
“He collapsed once Opal departed. Butler put him in a guest room.”
“And Artemis Junior?”
“Technically, you are Artemis Junior,” replied No1. “But I know what you are trying to ask me. Your younger self has been transported back to his own time. I sent a Retrieval captain and stayed here as a marker. I thought you would want him out of the way as soon as possible, what with your father and the twins on their way home.”
Artemis tickled Jayjay under the chin. “It might have proved awkward.”
Holly was troubled. “I know we promised not to wipe him, but I’m not particularly thrilled that there’s a little Fowl running around with fairy knowledge in his devious skull.”
Artemis raised an eyebrow. “Devious skull? Charming.”
“Hey, if the flap fits . . .”
No1 was a little pale. With a flex of his tail, he lifted his squat rump from the step. “About this no mind-wiping promise. The thing is, nobody told me.”
Holly stared at him. “So you wiped him?”
No1 nodded. “And Schalke. I also left a residual spell in young Artemis’s eyeballs so Butler will get it too. Nothing fancy, just a blanket memory loss. Their brains will fill in the gaps, invent believable memories.”
Holly shuddered. “You left a spell in his eyeballs? That is revolting.”
“Revolting but ingenious,” said Artemis.
Holly was surprised. “You don’t seem too indignant. I was expecting a speech. Rolling eyes, flapping arms, the whole Fowl thing.”
Artemis shrugged. “I knew it would happen. I didn’t remember anything, so I must have been wiped, therefore we must have won.”
“You always knew.”
“I didn’t know what the cost would be.”
No1 sighed. “So I’m off the hook, as you humans say?”
“Absolutely,” said Holly, clapping him on the shoulder. “I feel a lot better now.”
“On the positive side, I bolstered your atomic structure. Your atoms were a bit rattled by the time stream. I’m amazed you are still in one piece. I can only imagine how hard you were forced to concentrate.”
“Well, you had bolstered my atoms, and I have to beg one more favor,” said Artemis. “I need you to send a note back in time.”
“I’ve been ordered not to open the time stream again, but maybe we can squeeze back one more thing,” said No1.
Artemis nodded. “That’s what I thought.”
“When and where?”
“Holly knows. You can do it from Tara.”
“How do you spell stupendous?” said Holly, smiling.
Artemis stepped back and craned his neck to peer upward at the front window of his parents’ room. Jayjay mimicked the action, climbing onto Artemis’s shoulders and tilting his tiny head back.
“I’m afraid to go up, for some reason.”
He noticed himself wringing his fingers, and stuffed both hands in his jacket pockets.
“What she must have been through, all because of my meddling. What she must have . . .”
“Don’t forget us,” interjected No1. “We were submerged in animal fat. You have no idea how gross that is. Eyeball spells are the epitome of good taste compared to animal fat.”
“I was turned into an adolescent,” said Holly, winking at Artemis. “Now, that was gross.”
Artemis’s smile was forced. “Strangely, all this guilt-tripping is not making me feel any better. The DNA cannons aren’t helping either.”
Holly gestured at the LEP squad to stand down, then tilted her head slightly as a message came through.
“There’s a chopper coming in. Your father. We’ve got to fly.”
No1 wagged a finger. “And that’s not just a figure of speech. We actually have to fly. I know humans use that expression even when they don’t intend to actually fly, so just to avoid confusion . . .”
“I get it, No1,” said Artemis softly.
Holly raised her forearm, and Jayjay jumped onto it. “He will be safer with us.”
“I know.”
He turned to Holly, meeting her gaze. Blue and hazel eyes.
She gazed back for a second, then activated her wings, rising a foot from the surface.
“In another time,” she said, and kissed him on the cheek.