“Yes?” he says, and then pushes the glorious pile of grated cheddar cheese off the lump of iceberg lettuce on his plate. “Is that a problem?”
“We’re at a greasy spoon. You should at least have the decency to get something greasy. That’s their specialty. This,” I say, pulling his plate away, “doesn’t even fall into the proper definition of salad. This is just lettuce.”
“I like lettuce,” he says, but the grimace on his face betrays how he really feels.
“How do you maintain all that muscle if you eat like a rabbit?”
“We eat different things in the Underrealm.”
“He doesn’t like anything,” Garrick says from the adjacent table. “He’s the pickiest eater this side of Tartarus.”
“You mean you don’t like bacon cheeseburgers?”
“I’ve never tried a bacon cheeseburger.”
“You’ve never …?” I place my hand over my heart like this news wounds my soul. “We are changing that right now.”
I take a knife and cut my burger in half. I shove a rebellious piece of bacon back under the sesame bun and present it to him like it’s precious cargo. Which it is. I don’t take sharing my bacon cheeseburgers lightly.
“I can’t,” Haden says, trying to nudge my hands away.
“I will be morally offended if you don’t at least take a bite.”
“Just eat it so she’ll shut up!” Garrick says. “I’ve got a headache.”
Haden takes the half burger from my hands and holds it gingerly. “If I’m going to eat this thing, you have to do something for me first.”
“What?” I ask reluctantly.
“Tell me how you did what you did to that Keres. How did you know how to make it go solid enough for me to kill it?”
Garrick nearly knocks his Pepsi off his table. “You killed a Keres?” he says. “That’s impossible!”
“Not with Daphne’s help, apparently.”
“What did you do?” Garrick asks. He almost sounds angry.
“I … screamed at it,” I say with a shrug.
“What?”
“But how did you know to scream at it like that?” Haden says. “Plenty of people have probably screamed at a Keres before, but I’ve never heard of one becoming solid as a result.”
“I don’t really know,” I say. “I was just scared and tried the first thing I could think of; I didn’t really know what would happen.” I take a sip of root beer. “It was like how I calmed your cat that one time. You know how I told you that I hear the songs that living things put off? People or animals or even plants? Well, when I was a kid, I figured out that if I imitate the tone an animal puts off, they’re more likely to listen to me. I use it all the time on the strays my mom brings home. Some of them can be pretty wild until I give them a good talking to.”
“So you were trying to charm the Keres?” Haden asks. The grease from the burger is starting to run down his fingers but he doesn’t seem to notice.
“I mostly thought I’d imitate the screeching noise it was making and see what happened. It actually seemed to make it angrier. I’m just glad you were able to kill it before it attacked me.” I point at the burger. “Now, are you going to take a bite of that before it gets cold?”
“Do I have to?”
“I answered your question, so yes.”
Haden bites off a small corner and starts to chew.
“So?”
“It’s … actually, it’s …” His eyes widen and he drops the burger on top of his salad and stands up. His gaze goes out the window and then darts to the trucker at the bar. He scans the whole restaurant quickly, as if looking for someone.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“That green car out there,” he says, pointing to a BMW at the far end of the parking lot. There are only two other vehicles in the lot. A big rig and Haden’s Tesla. “It was behind us most of the way here.”
“So? They probably just made a pit stop, too.”
“Then where are they? There’s nobody else in here.”
“Maybe they went across the street to that … abandoned gas station?” I start to see Haden’s point. “You think they’re following us?”
“There’s one way to find out.” He tosses a wad of cash on the table. “Grab your food to go. Come on, Garrick.”
“Harpies,” Garrick mumbles.
I take two big bites of my burger and a swig of root beer and then follow Haden as he leads Garrick by the elbow out to the Tesla. We’re all trying to look as nonchalant as possible as we buckle in. Haden pulls out of the parking lot and around to the road behind the diner, then pulls over to the side.
“What are you doing?”
“Just give it a minute.”
About forty-five seconds later, the green BMW pulls out of the parking lot and starts in the direction we went. This still seems like a coincidence to me, but it’s enough to set Haden off. He slams his foot down on the accelerator and whips his car around so we’re blocking the BMW. The other car comes to a screeching halt. Haden bursts out of the driver’s-side door.