I took one more glance at the sleeping classes and headed back to him. The daimon had decided to show its hand. I couldn’t let Mercer rush into whatever trap lay upstairs.
Daylight flashed from above as I reached the roof access door. He’d already beaten me. I took the steps two at a time to reach him. My breath was sucked from my lungs as I stepped onto the roof. It was as if a black void had taken a hold of my heart. This was all in vain. Mercer was on his knees with his head bent. I took a couple of steps and collapsed next to him as tears burst from my eyes.
What made me think I could contend with any daimon? I was useless. Aunt Dahlia had never let me forget that little fact while growing up, and Aunt Jo had told me so. Even if I tried, I’d just end up like my mother. She’d been so much more than me.
I choked back a sob and looked up, blinking through the bleariness. James had his back to us as he looked down at the people below.
“James,” I croaked out. “What are you doing?”
He turned in our direction and stared with wide, red-rimmed eyes. His hair was a tangled mess, which was a feat since he kept it short in the first place, and his cheeks held a sallow quality. The wrinkled shirt and jeans was the same as I saw him wearing on Monday. He closed his gape of surprise and gave me a sad smile.
“I’m ending the pain,” he said.
“Why?”
He laughed. “You should already know that. I’m worthless.”
“No one is worthless,” Mercer ground out. “You’re not thinking straight, James. How about you come downstairs and we can talk.”
“What would you know?” James sneered. “You’re gifted … You’re—”
“This isn’t about me,” Mercer said.
“He’s right, James, you’re not worthless.” My voice sounded hollow, even to me. How could I be convincing with this emptiness filling me?
His gaze snapped back to me. “You of all people know that’s a lie. I mean, you left me.”
“You cheated on me.”
Great, Cassi. Let’s bring up the bad parts.
“Right,” he said. “You see what a piece of shit I am? I don’t deserve to live.”
“Just because we weren’t a good fit doesn’t mean you should die,” I said.
“Why shouldn’t I? I’m doomed for a life of mediocrity,” he said. “We all are chained to Fate.”
My mouth went dry. “I can make my own choices.”
“But here we are,” James said. “You’ve fallen onto this path despite trying to avoid it.”
I frowned. “Wait … what?”
He held his hand out to me. “There’s one definite escape.”
“Cassi, don’t,” Mercer said.
I swallowed hard and stared at the ground. He didn’t need to worry. I was too much of a coward. Death was one of the reasons I ran in the first place. Even though I claimed that I wanted to live my life on my own terms, I mostly wanted to live.
“Killing yourself doesn’t solve anything,” I said. “If you want to be better, you have to make yourself better.”
He laughed bitterly. “With people like you and Serenity, or him.” He pointed at Mercer. “That’s all but impossible.”
“I gave you an opportunity,” Mercer said through gritted teeth.
“That was a sham to make you and yours look better,” James said. “But I should thank you. You showed me how doomed I really was. Now, I can save myself a lifetime of misery.”
He threw himself backward, and his eyes closed with an almost peaceful look. With a scream, I lunged for him, but the distance between us was too great. He disappeared, and the screams from below mixed with my own.
Chapter 13
The hours following James’s death passed in a blur. At some point, the police arrived and I was pulled into an empty classroom for what seemed like endless questions. Yes, I had noticed James had seemed a little depressed a few days ago. No, I didn’t think he was capable of doing something like this.
I found myself sitting in front of the door to my aunt’s hotel room with the cooler resting in front of me. My car was parked a few feet away, so I’d driven here. The sun was high in the sky when Aunt Jo rolled up. She stared at me with her lips pressed in a thin line as I slowly stood. I followed her inside and plopped the cooler on the table. The water sloshed around inside. I stared down at the table with my back stiff.
“You know?” I asked.
She snorted. “Course I know. It’s all over the news.”
I sank in the nearby chair and buried my face in my hands. “I couldn’t stop him.”
“Ya can’t even unblock yerself. What were ya expectin’?”
I shook my head, still hidden on my hands. What had I expected when I raced to the roof? James and I weren’t even close to resembling anything like friends. I should have found someone to help instead. Though, they couldn’t have handled the aura that permeated the air up there.
“This is why I been tellin’ ya to prepare. Yer all but useless,” Aunt Jo said. “What’s in the cooler?”
“A piece of whatever was stalking me this morning.”