"No," he replied so quietly it was hard to hear him. "No, I just ... I'm still in love with you, Thea. I never got past that, even when you ran away from us."
"I didn't run away, Riot. You pushed me away." I bit the words out with a heavy amount of bitterness. Even after all this time, it still hurt.
"Whatever," he sighed, giving me a sad smile. "My point is that I don't want things to be like this between us. So tense and angry. It's hurting you, and me. I'm smart enough to see that much."
"So what are you saying? You want to forgive and forget? Give us another shot, even though I'm seeing other people?" I frowned because that didn'tfeel like what he was going to say. A girl could hope though, right?
He scooted closer to me on the branch, moving so that his knees brushed mine and his tattooed hands rested on my outer thighs. "I'm sorry, T," he whispered. "I can't. I can't bear the thought of sharing you with anyone other than Fin. I can't stomach the idea that you'll be sharing that vampire’sbed and even worse ... a wolf’s. You know how I feel about the wolves, T."
My fingers traced the twisted scars on his forearms, disguised with tattoos. "I know, Ry. But that wasn't these wolves. There's bad in every species, just like there's good."
He laughed without humor. "Oh? And this alpha ... he's a good man?"
I bit my lip, dropping my eyes from his intense gaze. There was no way I could confidently say Bennett was a good man. I didn't know him well enough, and what little I had seen...
"Ry ... I don't know what to tell you." I looked back up at him with tears stinging the corners of my eyes. Somehow, I already knew this was going to be goodbye when we came up here. I just wasn't ready to hear it yet.
"There's nothing to say, T. I love you too much to keep interfering in your life, but I just can't keep seeing you with them. It hurts me too damn much, and I am simply not as big a person as Fin to even try." His voice was thick with pain, and I cupped his cheeks, pulling him closer so I could rest my forehead on his. "If you love something, let it go and all that crap, right T?"
"No, Ry. That's a bullshit saying and you know it."
"I think it's time I went in search of my own kind. I've been living among the kitsune for so damn long, I sometimes forget what species I am." He chuckled, and my heart melted to see his smile. "Maybe one day I can get rid of my issues and we can be friends again."
"You're leaving leaving?" I was stunned. I had fairly much expected him to tell me he was horrified and disgusted by my new choices in my sex life. But he was leaving Vail?!
He leaned in closer, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips that tasted of wine and herbs.
"I'll miss you, T. Please stay safe?" He kissed me again then, and it was full of sorrow. When I opened my eyes again, my face was slick with tears and he was gone.
"Riot!" I yelled after him, seeing his sleek black jaguar form leaping through the branches. As fast as the Goddess allowed, I shifted forms and scrambled down from the branch to follow him, but a fox stood no chance against a jaguar when fleeing through a forest. He'd lost me within seconds and I collapsed onto the forest floor in a puddle of emotions.
We had ended our relationship some eight years ago, but it truly felt like it wasn't over until now.
I lay there, sobbing, for what felt like an eternity before finally gathering the shattered pieces of my heart and heading home.
It was almost morning by the time I finally made it back to my house. I'd taken the scenic route home to give myself some time to decompress. Sometimes a nice drive through the night can really help to clear the head.
Sadly, this wasn't one of those times. I arrived home feeling even crappier than I had when I left the Earth. The last thing I wanted to deal with was more aggressive propositions from one of my seemingly many love interests right now. Since when did I start becoming attracted to such alpha assholes? I wasn't exactly a blushing submissive myself, so how the hell did I keep winding up with these guys? Girls too, I guess. Revel was definitely an alpha asshole in her own right.
No, I needed a break. Something to just clear my head.
Before I even pulled into my driveway, I'd called and left a voicemail for both Chris and Bex, telling them we were going out that night. On a whim, I also called the Vail Valley Pack house—their number was listed online—and left a message for Shelbi to join us. I had no idea whether she'd get it or not, and I didn't leave my name just in case Bennett listened to the messages or something. But it would kind of be nice to see that little wolf again.
Mercy was smiling down on me, and when I opened my front door I was greeted by silence. Thank Inari and her nine lovers. I hadn't realized how much I appreciated my solitude until I constantly had people waiting on my doorstep.
"Ziff?" I called out, and he came skittering around the corner on excited paws, yapping to be picked up and cuddled. Obliging, I tucked him into my chest and made my way up to my bedroom.
The sheets were still messed up, but that was no great shocker. I sucked at making my bed and my cleaner only came once a week.
"Did you have a nice night without me, buddy?" I asked my fennec fox, placing him gently down on the bed so I could get changed. He chirped and trilled away at me, like he really was telling me about all the fun he got up to in my absence. I nodded and murmured noises of response when he paused, and he seemed to appreciate the effort I made at a fake conversation with him.
Crawling into my massive bed in just some soft granny panties and a random oversized men's t-shirt that I'd grabbed off my floor, I tucked Ziff onto the spare pillow and yawned heavily.
"Sleep time, Ziff," I told him, patting his oversized ears and closing my eyes. It felt like I hadn't slept properly in weeks, and I seriously doubted this would be any different. It would give me a small reprieve from the pain of Riot leaving for good, though. Not to mention it would let me avoid Fin a little longer. I'd missed about twenty calls from him after leaving Vail, so no doubt he knew about Riot leaving and wanted to bitch me out for it. Either that, or he was going to feel sorry for me. If he got too tender or emotional about it, I’d break. I wasn’t sure which was worse: him being an ass, or him trying to comfort me.
I wasn't in the mood for it either way though. Even though we'd been over for years, the hurt was fresh.
On that melancholy note, I drifted into a deep and dreamless sleep.
The scent of musk and man wrapped around me like a hug, and I snuggled happily into it.
"Bennett," I sighed, rolling over into his warmth.
"Girl, you better not put your hand on my dick or there will be problems all up in here," Chris's sleepy voice warned me and I sat up with a small scream.
"Fae-Bitch?" I asked, rubbing at my crusty eyes. "What the hell?"
"Well, I was sleeping, til you started talking in your sleep about someone called Bennett." My sparkly best friend blinked up at me from my pillows with a sassy look on his face. "Who exactly is Bennett, hmm? And is that his shirt you're wearing?"
"What—" I glanced down at what I'd fallen asleep in, and cursed. It was Bennett's shirt, which explained why I had been able to smell him just before. "Uh, technically yes? But only because it was the first thing I grabbed when I got home."
"Mm-hmm," he hummed, giving me that sassy face he did so damn well.
"What the hell are you doing in my bed anyway? I gave you your own guest room down the hall." I scowled at him and whistled for Ziff to check he wasn't squashed under Chris' fat ass. I joke, of course. He had a smaller ass than me, and mine was pretty tiny.
"I know," he yawned. "But I came straight here from the club when I got your message and you were like having a nightmare or something, so I came in to wake you up."