I clenched my jaw to keep from yelling obscenities at him. Deep down, I understood that he wasn't actually homophobic or necrophobic. He was just hurting, and lashing out.
"Well, quite frankly, Fin ... it really doesn't matter what I want to do with my private life. You're not part of it any more so you get no say. If I want to start my very own harem of kitsune women, vampires, wolves, and skinwalkers, I damn well will." Actually that idea appealed to me more than I was willing to let on. How great would it be not to have to choose? If the goddess Inari could do it, why couldn't I?
Fin scoffed. "You want a reverse harem? Be my guest. What do I care? Now you're telling me you're fucking wolves and skinwalkers, too? Since when?"
"I'm not—" I broke off, taking a breath to calm myself. "I don't need to defend myself to you, Fin. Is this what you wanted to spend two hours talking about? My love life and how disgusted it makes you?"
"No," he admitted, sounding a little sulky. "I wanted to tell you..." He trailed off and sighed. From the corner of my eye I saw his shoulders slump and he stared out the window. "I wanted to say I'm withdrawing my complaint against you. I'm going to the meeting with you, and I'm going to ask that Trina bind your ninth tail so you can have your magic back."
This was entirely not what I had expected from him, and I took my eyes from the road to peer at him for a moment.
"Sorry, say that again?" I blurted out and he turned to glare at me.
"You heard me. I just wanted to let you know, so you're not blindsided at the meeting and do something stupid, like insult the kitsune-tsukai." He arched a brow at me, like that was something I might do. In fairness, he knew me pretty damn well and that was absolutely something I would do. Stuffy old hags with their power trips.
"But ... why?" I didn't want to talk him out of it, but this seemed like a really selfless act on Fin's part. Something he wasn't well-known for. Not that he was selfish as such ... but he definitely looked out for number one first and foremost.
He sighed again, drumming his fingertips on the door handle. "Because, Thea. Your boyfriend called me last night. Or this morning ... whatever, it was late at any rate."
"My ... boyfriend?" I squeaked, feeling like I almost needed to pull over and squeeze the information out of him.
"The vampire. He called and told me—yelled at me, actually—about how apparently you went rogue last night and took on a nest of those diseased wolves without any magic." He paused but I was too stunned to speak. "He told me you almost died, and that it was on me. It's my fault you have no magic right now. It's my fault you couldn't properly defend yourself and worse still, it's my fault that you didn't have the magic to heal yourself. Thea ... I was hurting. Ry and I both were. But honestly ... we don't deserve you. Hearing from the vampire that we could have lost you for good, all because of my stubborn pride ... it damn near broke my heart, babe."
I didn't know what the fuck to say. First, how the hell had Mik known so much? Second, he called Fin to yell at him? So much for not wanting to fuck his food ... but most shocking was Fin's reaction.
"So ... you admit you were wrong?" I asked gently, not wanting to set him onto the defensive.
"I do. I thought maybe you just needed a push, that if you saw how serious I was then maybe you'd come back to us. But ... it's only pushing you further away, and that was never my intention." He sounded utterly miserable and I had to force myself to keep driving instead of pulling over to comfort him.
"Right," I murmured, exhaling a long breath and letting my mind process before speaking again. "So, you'll move on and start dating crossers?"
He chuckled a light laugh. "No. If there’s one thing I have come to understand in this past week, Thea babe, it's that I am still totally in love with you. I'm withdrawing my complaint from the council and releasing you from our betrothal, but I do not intend to let you go so easily."
This time when I stared at him, I took a little too long and had to do a rapid steering correction to get Lola back on the road and away from the cliff edge.
"What the hell does that mean?" I panted, after finally getting us safely back on the road and decreasing my speed a little.
"It means," he explained patiently, like he was speaking to a small child. "That I want you back ... no matter what it takes. You're the love of my life, Thea."
"Fin," I groaned, feeling like a migraine might be sneaking up on me. "I can't ... I have ... other interested parties right now."
He made a little frustrated growl in his throat. "I know, but that's my issue to handle. Besides, if the goddess Inari can have a harem of both men and women ... why can't you? I don't see any rule book for how the youngest Nine in history needs to act, do you?"
Any response I tried to formulate just came out in a strangled squeak, so for a really long time, neither of us spoke.
Eventually, I gathered up my scattered wits and glanced over at Fin, who was watching me with those gorgeous warm brown eyes of his.
"I don't even know what to say, Fin," I whispered, and he gave me a small smile.
"Just say you'll give me an equal chance. That's all I ask? You lead such a dangerous life now, I honestly don't think I can bear another minute of us fighting ... we need to make the most of all the time we have on this planet, right?" His smile was bittersweet and I knew he was thinking about me almost dying last night.
My heart felt useless to me, like it was flopping around in my chest and being entirely zero help. "Okay," I agreed in a whisper. "Equal chance. But—"
"No one says you have to choose, Thea babe. You can go against the grain, just like Inari did thousands of years ago," he reassured me, and I smiled. He knew exactly what I'd been about to say without me needing to say it. "If you end up falling in love with those other fuckers ... well then you can have your very own polyamorous relationship."
I gave him a quick grin. "Inari calls hers a harem, remember? Because they all love her, and her alone. Between themselves they're just ... good friends." I winked at him and he gave me a smile back.
"Speaking of good friends, I haven't discussed this with Ry. I didn't want to influence his own decisions so everything I've said ... it's just from me. I have no doubt he’ll want you no matter how he can get you, though. You know he still cries out for you in his dreams?" Fin gave me an almost puppy dog kind of face when I glanced to him and I growled.
"Fin, you shouldn't tell me that. Let Ry come to his own decisions ... but just so we're on the same page, I never stopped loving you two assholes. Even though you were totally jealous and flat out wrong all those years ago," I scolded him.
He snorted a laugh. "Were we? You and the vampire seemed awfully friendly on his desk the other day."
"That was ..." I sighed, remembering the feel of Mik's lips on mine, his hands on my body ... "That was the first time we'd ever kissed."
"Are you sure?" He sounded suspicious. "Because that had a whole lot of intensity to it; you looked like you would have fucked right then and there if Ry hadn't put his fist through the glass."
"Are you calling me a liar, Fin?" I challenged him and he grumbled something under his breath. "Anyway. Let's just ... get through this stupid council meeting and get my tail bound, okay? You have no idea how awful it is to be without the earth magic. I feel like my hands are tied behind my back and I'm blindfolded."
"I'm sorry," he whispered again, and I shrugged.
"It's fine, we're getting it fixed tonight, right? Then maybe I can really make a difference in curing this disease." I tapped my fingers on Lola's steering wheel, feeling better about myself than I had in weeks.
Fin made a little chirp, not unlike what Ziff did when he was curious about something. "How, though? I thought there was no cure?"