“I know.” I sighed, glancing back at the glade, knowing she watched me, even now. “I know.”
Ariel a was waiting for us when we returned, standing under the elder tree, talking to the empty branches. At least, it was empty until two golden eyes appeared through the leaves, blinking lazily as we came in.
Grimalkin yawned as he sat up, curling his tail around his feet, and regarded us solemnly.
“Made your decision, have you?” he purred, digging his claws into the branch holding him up. “Good. All this agonizing was getting rather trite.
Why does it take so long for humans and gentry to choose one path or the other?”
Puck blinked at him. “Oh, let me guess. You knew Ariel a was here all along.”
“Your kind does have a f lair for stating the obvious.” Ariel a was watching me, her expression unreadable. “What is your decision, Ash of the Winter Court?”
I drew close enough to see her face, realizing it hadn’t changed in all the years she’d been gone. She was still beautiful, her face lovely and perfect, though there were shadows in her gaze that hadn’t been before. “You told me you knew the way to becoming mortal,” I said softly, watching for her reaction. Her eyes tightened a bit, but her 91/387
expression remained neutral otherwise. “I made a promise,” I said softly. “I swore to Meghan that I’d find a way to return. I can’t walk away from that, even if I want to. I need to know how to become mortal.”
“Then it is decided.” Ariel a closed her eyes for a long moment. When she spoke, her voice was low and distant, and it raised the hair on the back of my neck. “There is a place,” she murmured, “that resides at the end of the Nevernever. Beyond the Briars that surround Faery, beyond the very edge of our world, the ancient Testing Grounds have stood since the beginning of time. Here, the Guardian awaits those who would escape Faery forever, who wish to leave the world of dreams and enter the human realm. But to do so, they must endure the gauntlet. None who accepted this challenge returned sane, if they returned at all. But legend states that if you can survive the trials, the Guardian will offer the key to becoming mortal.
The gauntlet will be your test, and the prize will be…your soul.”
“My…soul?”
Ariel a regarded me solemnly. “Yes. A soul is the essence of humanity.
It is what we lack to become mortal, and as such, we cannot truly understand humans. We were born from their dreams, their fears and imaginations. We are the product of their hearts and minds. Without a soul we are immortal, yet empty. Remembered, we exist. Forgotten, we die. And when we die, we simply fade away, as if we never existed at all. To become human is to have a soul. It is that simple.” I glanced at Puck and saw him nodding, as if this all made sense. “All right,” I said, turning back to Ariel a. “Then, I need to get to the Testing Grounds. Where are they?”
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She smiled sadly. “It is not a place you can just walk to, Ash. No one who has gone to the Testing Grounds has ever survived. However…” Her eyes glazed over, becoming as distant as the stars. “I have seen it, in my visions. I can show you the way.”
“Can you?” I gave her a long, searching look. “And what would you ask in return? What would you have me swear?” I stepped closer, dropping my voice so only she could hear. “I can’t give you back the past, Ariel a. I can’t promise it will be the same. There’s…someone else now.” A face rippled across my memory, different from Ariel a’s; pale-haired and blueeyed, smiling at me. “This quest, my earning a soul, is all for her.”
“I know,” Ariel a replied. “I saw you together, Ash. I know what you feel for her. You always loved…so completely.” Her voice trembled, and she took a deep breath, meeting my gaze. “All I ask is that you let me help you. That’s all I want.” When I still hesitated, she bit her lip and her eyes filled with tears. “I haven’t seen you in years, Ash. I waited for this day for so long—please don’t walk out and leave me behind. Not again.”
Guilt stabbed at me, and I closed my eyes. “All right.” I sighed. “I guess I do owe you that. But, it won’t change anything, Ari. I have to keep my promise to Meghan. I won’t stop until I’ve earned a soul.” She nodded, almost distracted. “It’s a long way to the End of the World.” Turning from me, she walked over to the shelves, her next words almost inaudible. “Anything can happen.” CHAPTER SEVEN
THE RIVER OF DREAMS