His voice was so tender that a knot formed in my throat.
“She started to,” I said. “If you don’t want to talk about it…”
“I don’t mind—it happened a long time ago, during the war. Warriors from the Maltorim discovered Kate was a dual-breed through a friend she had trusted. They tortured her, trying to get her to reveal our parents, bringing her close to death several times then waiting for her to heal before starting again. She was only fifteen—not yet able to shift.” His voice fell, hoarse now. “It’s my fault they killed her.”
“You aren’t responsible.”
His eyes remained on the floor. “I was there. It was during the war, and at the time, any one known as a Cruor was expected to fight. Fight or die. I did my best to show my allegiances without hurting anyone, but my sister acted more on her honor, and that’s how they eventually discovered her true nature. She never revealed our relation, and I didn’t say anything. I did nothing to stop them.”
“They would have killed you both,” I said, knowing it wouldn’t be any consolation.
“If I’d done something—anything—at least she would have known I cared. When they abandoned her dead body, I snuck her home to my parents for a proper burial. I cannot describe to you the guilt, the grief—” He shook his head as his voice cracked. “I failed her.”
“I’m sure she knew your love for her,” I said gently.
He didn’t respond, and I opted for a shift in conversation. “Your other siblings—they were okay?”
Charles’ eyebrows pulled together. “My other siblings?”
“The twins.”
“What twins?”
I searched his expression for answers, but the only emotion there was confusion. I spun the beads on my bracelet. “A misunderstanding, I guess.”
Charles let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t think my parents wanted to have more kids after what happened to my sister, and I certainly didn’t want more siblings. I’d failed my sister. That can’t be redeemed with new life.”
“We can’t bring her back,” I said, “but you can do something. We can change things.”
He scoffed, but the strain around his eyes revealed he was more hurt than annoyed.
“We’ll fight back, somehow. The war against the dual-breeds can’t go on forever.”
“I shouldn’t have dragged you into this.” His expression softened, along with the edge in his voice. “If I could do it over again, I would have—”
“Done something different? Like with your sister?” I didn’t need clairaudience to evaluate his thinking. He was afraid he might lose me to the darker side of his world, the same way he’d lost his sister.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said. “We’ll think of something.”
Something, yes, but what?
I didn’t know.
Chapter 19
THE EVENING AFTER the Liettes’ visit, I attempted to use my clairaudience to locate Thalia’s coterie. I’d already tried twice, hoping to zone in on them and see if their thoughts would reveal anything useful, but both my attempts had been unsuccessful.
Charles said not to worry about his father’s fear of being followed, but I wanted to make certain. If anyone would know anything, it would be Thalia and her coterie. Despite what Charles had said, I was certain Thalia wasn’t harmless. He might know more about his world than me, but his intuition sucked.
Soon, however, I’d learn my own intuition was lacking as well.
I turned off my cell phone and the lights. A few lit candles, scattered around the room, released sweet walnut and vanilla into the air, and the red light of the setting sun burned through the basement windows. I sat on the floor in my chalk circle, straightened my posture, and took several deep breaths. I imagined vines growing from the earth, gently embracing me, leaving me connected and comfortable. I fell into the practiced rhythm of breathing until even the sound of my breath dissolved in my ears.
My world grew silent, but the voices blared. I centered my energy on the back of my mind, visualizing a map beside a tray of pushpins. As I descended deeper into my meditation, the tingling sensation in my mind intensified. I focused on the loudest whisper until the others fell away. A single voice remained; it would be Charles. I listened long enough to use his voice as a marker, just as I’d practiced late last night with him and Adrian. I dropped Charles to focus on the next closest voice.
Last time I tip Lucia on the best hunting grounds. I come back here, and what do I find? Nothing. Greedy little—
I tuned out and scanned for another voice, at what I guessed was about a mile further out than the last.
Why should I bother hiding? If anyone said they saw me, they’d get booked to the nearest mental institution.
Another failed attempt.