His forehead creased. “Anything, Sophia.”
“I have this thing,” I said. The space from the bedroom door to the dresser where Charles stood extended a hopeless distance. “I hear things sometimes—thoughts that aren’t my own.”
Charles blinked but said nothing.
“It started as a hissing noise a few years ago but has gotten worse over the past six months.” Even my voice was shaky. I tried to swallow, but my mouth was too dry. I needed to say this. If he didn’t want to be with me because of this, then maybe we shouldn’t be together. “I’m sorry. I’ve been one disaster after the next. I’m complicating your life. If you want me to leave, I would understand.”
Charles crossed the room and grabbed me by the elbow. “You’re nuts if you think I would want you to leave. This is what’s been bothering you?”
I shrugged one shoulder, as though that would hide my hurt. “I was afraid to tell anyone. Everyone else I’ve ever opened up with has turned away.”
“Sophia,” he said, touching my cheek. “I’m not going to turn away from the only person I’ve ever trusted to accept me. Not for anything. You belong to me. If for a moment, then for eternity.”
“Eternity?” I asked wearily.
“We’re going to find a way,” he promised. “This is one of many hurdles we will face, but we will overcome this—this and everything else standing in our way. Whatever it takes. We can fight for this, too.”
“I know, I know. Whatever you do, fight,” I droned. “But I’ve been fighting this for a while now. The voices aren’t going anywhere.”
“Perhaps they aren’t supposed to. Remember, you’re the descendant of a spirit elemental. If she was telepathic, you might be, too.”
Charles didn’t understand. I pressed my lips together and shook my head.
“Will you at least look into it?” he asked.
My breath rushed from my lungs. “I don’t think—”
“Good idea. Don’t think for a minute.”
All this time I’d worried that opening up to him would cause problems, but it was the secrets that kept us apart. The more open he’d been with me, the stronger our bond became. I needed to start opening up to him, too.
I sat on the edge of the bed, and Charles knelt in front of me. The cardboard box he pulled from beneath the bed ripped a little as he tugged. He sifted through the contents until he found a large, unmarked book.
“This is one of my mother’s old journals.” He leafed through the pages, fingers running over the lettering and lips moving rapidly until they reached a page headed ‘Telepathy’. “Do you try to tune out the voices or listen to them?”
“Block them,” I said. “Sometimes I can’t hear myself think because they’re so loud and they’re all clattering at once.”
He set the book on top of the box. “Perhaps you try so hard to block the voices that you block your own thoughts in the process.”
I spread my hands. “What am I supposed to do?”
Charles sat beside me on the bed, his hands resting in his lap. “My mother used to say, ‘much confusion can be lifted with an open mind.’ Try.”
I curled my legs beneath me. “Try what?”
“To stop fighting. Stop pushing the voices away.”
“If I focus, the voices get louder. Not clearer.”
“Don’t focus. Open your mind.”
Open my mind? How was I supposed to do that?
The closest I’d ever come to clarifying the voices was when I was relaxed, so I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing while Charles waited quietly. Several minutes passed. Just as my frustration threatened to take over, something sparked in my head.
…help in some way.
“Is that you?” I asked.
“Is what me?”
“The voice.”
“No. Telepaths only hear their own kind.” But it might help.
Now I was certain it was Charles’ voice echoing in my mind. “Help with what?”
Charles stared at me for a long moment, as though considering, then gave a silent nod. “That’s not telepathy.”
“I know.”
For a minute, hope fluttered in my stomach at the idea Charles might be able to help. But either way, at least I was no longer alone in this.
We spent the next thirty minutes testing my ability. Sometimes the thoughts of several elementals floated through my mind at once. At least I assumed they were elemental. Last I checked, humans weren’t very concerned with their fangs or the pain of shifting or whether their wings would be visible in sunlight. If I pinpointed Charles’ voice, the others fell away. I dropped the connection, and all the voices snapped back to a jumbled mess.
Charles pinched the bridge of his nose. “Other elementals wouldn’t like this, you in their thoughts. Perhaps this is why you were so easy for Cruor to influence at first but are now capable of blocking their attempts. We need to tell my parents.”
“Do we?” I asked. I didn’t want to tell anyone more than necessary.