“What is it?” he asked, following my gaze out the window to where the young woman still stood. She turned woodenly and walked away. “We could sit on the porch, if you prefer.”
Couldn’t he see her? I should have been freaked out that I was either seeing ghosts or hallucinating, but in the scheme of the last few months, the turn of events seemed almost mundane somehow. Or perhaps my numb-reaction-to-horrible-events gene was in overdrive.
I opened my mouth to say something but decided I’d better figure a few things out first. Last thing I needed was another repeat of the whole Ivory situation. She was still barely talking to me, and it wasn’t for my lack of trying. If that was the general reaction to people ‘hearing things’, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the reaction to people ‘seeing things’.
I forced a smile at Charles. “The living room is fine.”
The teacup warmed my fingers as I sipped. “Honey?”
“Yes, Dear?”
“You’ve put honey in the tea, I mean.” I smiled, shaking my head. “Tell me you’ve been waiting all day to use that line.”
He grinned, flopping on the couch beside me, and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
The streetlights outside flickered on, reflecting off the icicles hanging from the storm gutters on the houses across the way. The street was empty, and I sighed my relief, snuggling closer to Charles and relaxing against his warm body.
Mentally I struggled to block any emotions trying to surface. Sure, last night changed things between us. I knew we were ‘together’ now, in our own way, but I would age, and he would stay the same. We had no future, not unless he rid himself of his Cruor side so that we could age together. I wasn’t ready to make a commitment under these circumstances.
His breath was hot against my neck, and a fluttering repeated in my stomach. He touched his lips to the hollow beneath my ear, then he buried his head against my shoulder.
“I want to be with you. To not resist the urges you create,” he murmured against my neck, “but more than anything, I am compelled to protect you. Compelled beyond reason, perhaps, but I know I must. What happened earlier today, outside the diner…”
“I’m glad you kissed me,” I said with sudden boldness.
He sighed, leaning back and closing his eyes. “I can’t let you get hurt.”
“I’ve made it this far,” I said quietly. “Still in one piece, too.”
His jaw tensed. “That’s not the kind of hurt I mean.”
I knew that. I knew he didn’t want to hurt me physically or emotionally. And I was trying not to get attached. Really and truly.
Some things were beyond my control.
“This wouldn’t be a problem if we could age together.” I regretted the words almost as soon as I’d spoken them.
Charles scoffed. “Many would kill for immortality.”
“All I meant—”
“Would you sacrifice your way of life for me? Or do you expect only the reverse?”
I didn’t want to be selfish, but, when it came to this one thing, I had to be. As much as I wanted to explore the possibilities of getting more involved with him, I refused to allow myself to commit when we had something as huge as immortality standing between us. Maybe I wasn’t capable of keeping strong against my desires, but I would fight to protect my heart.
The front door rattled as Adrian stepped inside and stomped snow from his tidy black dress shoes. “My apologies. Am I interrupting?”
I stood. “No. We were waiting for you.”
I turned back to Charles, frowning.
He stood and kissed my forehead, then whispered low in my ear, “We’ll figure things out. I promise.”
He continued over to the front door and clapped his hand against Adrian’s arm. “Good to see you. Come sit.”
Adrian pulled a stack of books from a navy-blue messenger bag and stretched his arm to set them on the coffee table, keeping the furthest possible distance from me.
“These may help, though I must warn you, they contain some…non-traditional views. And,” he said, taking some small USB-port-type thing from his pocket, “there’s always the Internet.”
“Ha!” I said, trying to contain my laughter. “The Internet.”
“Why do you say ‘ha’?” His brow furrowed as though I’d suddenly grown a third arm. He slid the device across the coffee table toward me. “That is D-connect.”
I examined the wireless card, studying the red encircled symbol of a snake on the side. “What is this?”
Adrian grinned. “Something we should not have in our possession. Queen Callista—and anyone else on the Maltorim—would impose some undesirable consequences for such an offense. The alterations I’ve made should ensure that doesn’t come to pass.”
Charles cleared his throat.
“I should say, actually, that Charles is the one responsible for the alterations. He placed an electronic leech on the card, thus erasing data as entered. Activity cannot be tracked.”
Charles tapped his fingers against the coffee table. “It’s not perfect.”