Between this information and Charles’ declaration that I would be safe so long as I traveled in groups, especially at night, I realized I didn’t have many options. I couldn’t move in with Lauren; she would freak if I overpowered her home with daffodils because of her whole ‘floral scents give me a headache’ thing.
I wasn’t exactly stuck where I was with Charles, but I couldn’t think of better solution, and I wasn’t sure I still wanted to. Our location was safe. All I had to do was leave the house during daylight and return before nightfall. The daffodil did the rest.
I wish that would have been enough forever.
***
OCTOBER 31ST marked the beginning of the darker half of the year. Red’s bandage had come off the week before, and I thought he’d be ready to fly home. Wherever that was.
I took him from his cage and lowered him to the ground. “Here’s your chance. Get on with your little bird life. Just be sure to build yourself a nest and stay there at night.”
Red walked across the cold ground, stared out at the muted clearing, then hopped back to the perch in his cage.
I crouched to peek inside. “Don’t you want to be free?”
After several failed attempts, I let out a sigh and headed back to my Jeep with Red still in tow.
With the fading of daylight, the voices returned. Slowly at first, pulsing into my own thoughts in place of the thudding silence, but then more rapidly, rushing by with renewed intensity. Unintelligible. Tangled. I didn’t know if it’d be better to understand them, or if that would only make me feel crazier.
This year, Samhain would be especially important. On this sabbat, the spirits of ancestors visit their descendants—to help them and advise them—and I needed all the advice I could get. This would be my last hope of getting answers on my own.
My friends would be joining me in Charles’ backyard to perform our ritual. Well, my ritual, mostly. Lauren wasn’t Wiccan—she was only joining the ceremony to support me in my beliefs, just as I often celebrated Christian holidays with her. And Ivory said she didn’t want to do a ritual for her ancestors but would come along for my sake.
We met at dusk. I draped an orange cloth over a stone I’d chosen as an outdoor altar and perched pictures of Grandpa Dunne, Grandpa Parsons, and Dad, along with Elizabeth Parsons’ court document, in a semicircle around the altar’s pentagram. I never included my mom in these things. Even with her gone, I wanted to honor her distaste for my beliefs.
As I performed the rites, I kept my thoughts to myself, wanting the support of my friends but not wanting them to know what I needed support for. Start to finish, the ritual took nearly an hour and was entirely uneventful. Maybe the answers would come later. I stubbed out the mint, apple, and nutmeg incense sticks, then shared cakes and a bottle of sparkling wine with my friends.
Lauren suggested we spend the evening making grave-rubbings, and Ivory said she knew just the place. I wasn’t sure. I hadn’t been out after dark since I’d gone to Club Flesh with Ivory…not even to buy milk or bread.
After I closed the circle, I stepped aside to call Charles, who was out for the evening. “Ivory and Lauren want to go do grave-rubbings.”
“That one of your Wiccan things?”
“No,” I said, incredulous he was even asking. “Grave-rubbings. You lay a piece of paper on the grave, then rub it lightly with lumberman’s chalk. It gives an ‘imprint’ of the grave. Didn’t you ever do coin-rubbings in school? It’s like that.”
“I didn’t go to school,” he said, “but it sounds fun.”
“It does?” I walked farther from my friends, lowering my voice. “I mean at night. They want to go now.”
“You won’t have to worry at the cemetery. Cruor don’t go there. Besides, you should be fine in a group.”
An icy breeze crossed the yard, biting at my nose and cheeks. I pulled my coat tighter to ward off the chill. “No Cruor in the cemetery? You’re sure?”
“None in that cemetery,” he said. “The only Cruor residing in a cemetery are the Maltorim in Damascus. The Queen, Callista, says it keeps other Cruor away. Cemeteries are where the original Earth elementals came from and the one place they don’t want to return. Moreover, there’s nothing there for them. They want living blood, not dead bodies.”
“Okay, if you’re sure.” I waited for him to say something else—anything—but he didn’t. “I better get going. Meet you later.”
We said our goodbyes, and I snapped my phone shut.
Ivory cleared the black taper and white pillar candles from the altar. She hadn’t said much since arriving.
“How’ve you been?” I asked lightly, coiling the black cord that had marked our circle.