“There…is?” She nearly stumbled over the two words, her voice smaller than usual.
The Cruor’s existence defied explanation, just like my curse. Ivory might be the only one who would understand. The only one who might accept me even knowing about the voices. “Remember the positive energy ritual I told you about? A few weeks back?”
She nodded.
“Well, ever since, I’ve been hearing these voices—”
The hairbrush paused. Ivory’s voice came out clipped and quiet. “What kind of voices?”
I shouldn’t have said anything. Obviously feeding on blood was fine. Seeing auras was acceptable. But no matter what ‘world’ you lived in, hearing voices meant you were crazy.
“Nothing,” I said, closing my eyes against the hurt. “Anyway, they’re gone now. Probably just stress or something.”
“Maybe.” She dropped the brush on the bed. “We should get you home.”
***
ON THE RIDE HOME, we passed yards of grass covered in frost. A finger unable to move less than three hours ago flicked the car lock back and forth with ease. How powerful was Cruor blood? Could it cure cancer?
“Will you be there for Samhain?” I asked, blurting the first thing that came to mind. Blurting anything, really, that might break the silence between us. Though the Sabbat was still nearly two months away, it was present in my mind as the best chance to speak directly with my ancestor’s spirit. I hadn’t given up on that, even if the voices were on vacation.
“Sure.” Ivory’s eyes didn’t break from the road.
“Ivory—”
“I said I will. Okay?” She pulled in front of my house. Her hands gripped the steering wheel, eyes straight ahead.
With Ivory not bothering to look at me, I felt as though she’d already driven away. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong?”
“What’s the point?”
“Ivory, it’s not like you weren’t keeping something from me, too.”
Her eyes watered, and her jaw tensed. “I knew someone who heard voices.” Her face swung toward me, her expression full of a hate and anger I couldn’t place and couldn’t bring myself to ask her about. The raw emotion made me flinch.
“I—I’m sorry.” I swallowed, but my mouth and throat only became drier. “Are they okay now?”
“They’re dead. So what do you think?”
I didn’t know what else to say. “I guess I’d…better get going. See you soon?”
“Yeah, see you.”
As soon as I stepped out of her car, she tore off down the road. I was an idiot. No matter how close I was to anyone, no matter what secrets they shared with me, I’d be foolish to think they’d accept my problems.
My breath formed clouds in the air. It’d gotten cold so fast. Too cold for mid-September. This would be one of Colorado’s early winters. And, with the way things were going, one of the loneliest.
Pushing my emotions away, I faced my house. Another flash of Adrian’s life played before my eyes: a dual grave arrangement. The image cut off before revealing the names on the headstones. Something in my head popped, and a pressure on my mind released.
Please let that be the end of that.
As I opened the front door and hung my coat in the closet, Red chirped, bringing a smile to my face but somehow making me sadder at the same time. I headed to the kitchen, where my yellow, pink, and purple lupines wilted in their vase on the windowsill from too much sun and not enough water. It felt like weeks had passed since I’d been home, but it hadn’t even been twenty-four hours.
“I haven’t forgotten you,” I said to my little cardinal. “You need fresh water.”
After refilling Red’s tray, I headed to my bedroom. All the thoughts and feelings I’d been avoiding charged at me. How many people knew about the Cruor? How many people had died at their hands?
I plopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Dust piled like dark clouds on the blades of the motionless fan above, but instead of grabbing some cleaner and a rag, I just stared, wondering at the intensity of the stale odor the dust created in my room.
Being Wiccan, I believed in the energy of the earth, of the gods and goddesses…but vampire-like creatures? It wasn’t as though being Wiccan was synonymous with believing in things such as UFOs or thinking Elvis was still alive. Having faith in one thing didn’t mean I had to have faith in everything.
Yet, what choice did I have? Today I’d learned vampires were real. There was no erasing that—no ignoring what Adrian had proven to me only hours earlier.