He pulled her into his arms while she tried to wipe away the tears that were still streaming down her face. He took the knife she’d been holding in her other hand and laid it on the table while she struggled to control herself.
He nestled her against his chest and murmured against her head, “Why are you crying? Please tell me. Did something happen?”
“I’m sorry.” Sophie was ashamed of her tears, but at the same time, a warmth having more kinship with anger than anything else, welled up inside her.
“You can tell me,” Gabe crooned, stroking her back.
“It is nothing. I am well.”
“Please tell me.”
“Nothing! It is nothing!” She pulled away from him, wiping her face with her apron. She turned her back on him.
There was only silence behind her. What was he thinking? That she was not worth his trouble?
“Are you angry with me for leaving?”
“Yes. I mean, no.” She shook her head. “I’m not angry.” What reason did she have to be angry? Could she be more undignified? More unreasonable?
He pulled her back against the hardness of his chest.
“You’re leaving me.” Shut up, Sophie. Don’t say any more. “You won’t tell me where you’re going.”
“Sophie, please. I —”
“Go back to your Brittola! Marry her! Why would you marry me when you have her?” She threw the words at him like she was hurling rocks. She knew she should stop but the words continued to flow from her mouth. “You don’t deserve to have a scullery maid for a wife. Go on.”
Gabe let go of her shoulders. She didn’t dare turn around. Had he left? Had he gotten sick of her crying and her cruel words and walked out the door? She wouldn’t blame him. She was an imbecile, a lackwit. How could she say those things to him? The pain inside her grew until it had overwhelmed all reason and restraint.
She wiped her face. Turning, she found Gabe still standing behind her, leaning against the kitchen table. He pulled out a chair and sat down, resting his elbows on the wood and leaning his face in his hands.
What have I done? Her stomach twisted at the obvious anguish he was feeling. He probably would decide to go see Brittola now, even if he wasn’t before. She was a lackwit.
He looked up at her, dropping his hands from his face. He gazed at her sadly, his brown eyes tearing at her heart. She had thought herself all cried out, but she had to bite her lip to keep from crying again. If she couldn’t control herself, she’d never find out what he was thinking. Why didn’t he say something? She couldn’t look him in the eye after all the stupid things she’d said. Why must I always doubt him? Doubt myself?
Instead of speaking, Gabe simply stretched out his hand toward her.
She stared at his hand, held out to her, waiting. She moved toward him and he slipped his arm around her waist. He drew her down on his lap and buried his face in her hair.
Sophie wrapped her arms around his neck. Listening to his breathing, feeling the slight rise and fall of his shoulders, her heart gradually slowed to normal. She breathed him in.
He was leaving.
She couldn’t let him leave without apologizing for her ridiculous outburst.
“Forgive me, Gabe. I’m sorry for what I said.” Still, he didn’t move. “I’m afraid you’ll marry Brittola instead of me. Please say something.”
With a deep sigh, he pulled away and loosened his hold on her. “Sophie, I love you. I don’t love anyone but you, and you will marry me, if I have anything to say about it. So stop trying to get rid of me.” He dropped his head so their foreheads were touching. His expression was serious. “But I do expect you to trust me.”
“You’re right. I should trust you. I’m sorry. I know I behaved badly. I let my fear take control, and what I said was ridic —”
He stopped her with a kiss, pressing his lips firmly to hers. Then he pulled back and captured her gaze with a penetrating and somber look. “I know your stepmother did some bad things to you. She said things to you that weren’t true.” He spoke quietly, but unwaveringly. “My mother once told my sister, ‘You must let God’s love heal you.’ ”
Sophie touched his cheek, and he reached up and cradled her face in his hands. “You must let God’s love and the blood of Jesus heal you of all those things the duchess said and did to you.”
Sophie swallowed. “I will.”
“My mother’s childhood was a little bit like yours. She had to let God heal her, and you have to do the same. You don’t have to believe those lies. You can give them to God.”
Give them to God? “How do I do that?”
“God says we should cast our burdens on him and give him our cares. And you have some heavy burdens you need to give to God.” He sighed. “And so do I.”
“You do? What?” They were both whispering, and Sophie didn’t want to break this magical moment, feeling as if Gabe was not only revealing God to her, but he was about to reveal himself to her.