“I AM NOT PETER PAN!” Puck bellowed as smoke blasted out of his nostrils. A moment later the top of the family car rocketed into the atmosphere, turning the old jalopy into a very crude convertible.
No one was hurt, but the outburst launched a massive, manysided argument. Granny argued with Veronica. Henry shouted at Puck. The three bears roared and snapped at one another. Puck bellowed at everyone. The air was heavy with angry words bouncing around violently from one person to the next. All Sabrina could do was watch quietly and hope everyone didn’t turn on her. When a hand slipped into hers and gave it a quick squeeze, Sabrina was elated. Finally, she and her sister were getting back to normal. But when she looked down she realized she was actually holding Red Riding Hood’s hand. The little girl was trembling in fright from all the shouting. Sabrina quickly pulled her hand away. Red seemed hurt but didn’t say a word.
As the argument hit a fever pitch, Granny Relda inserted two fingers into her mouth and blasted a high-pitched whistle that rattled Sabrina’s brain. When everyone was quiet she turned her attention to Uncle Jake.
“Jacob, why in heavens are you driving so fast?”
Sabrina eyed the car’s ancient speedometer. The red needle was pushing one hundred and ten and the engine was rattling and screeching worse than usual.
“Because we have a major problem!” Jake cried.
“What are you talking about?” Henry asked.
“Well, big brother, before you insulted the boy fairy everything was fine, but you had to go and make him angry and he blew the roof off the car. So the integrity of the interior has been compromised,” he shouted over the wind.
“In English, please,” Veronica said.
“The inside of the car was enchanted to fit all of you in it. Now the inside is also the outside,” Jake said as he reached into his pocket and took out the little wooden box that held the powder he had used to cast the spell on the car.
“So?” Granny asked.
“So, the universe now has two choices. The exterior, which is the whole world, gets bigger to match the spell, which would be very, very bad. I’m talking earthquakes, tsunamis, insane weather. Real. Bad. Stuff.”
“Then what’s the other choice?” Goldilocks asked.
“The interior of the car is going to shrink back to normal, which means it’s going to get cramped in here fast.”
Sabrina looked around at all the people and animals in the car. There were almost a dozen passengers in the car, three of them weighing in the area of eight hundred pounds. “How fast?”
Suddenly, there was a pop followed by a loud hissing sound, as if someone had just stuck a balloon and let the air out. Before Sabrina knew what was happening she was pushed roughly to the center of her seat. She was practically sitting in her mother’s lap.
“Very fast!” Uncle Jake floored the gas and tore down the narrow country road. The car shook and quaked, pistons screamed and gears screeched. With every mile added to the car’s odometer, the interior got smaller. The passengers were squeezed closer and closer to one another. Worse, Sabrina realized she was sitting next to Puck, who was now hip to hip with her. She noticed he had mud and several plump, slippery earthworms in his hair.
“You need to go faster,” Henry shouted over the wind that beat against everyone’s faces. Veronica had moved onto his lap and Granny seemed destined for it, too.
“Don’t tell me how to drive,” Uncle Jake said.
“I’ll tell you how to drive if you’re driving like an old woman,” Henry snapped.
“You want to drive? ’Cause I can pull over and you can show me how it’s done,” Uncle Jake replied.
“They sound like you two,” Puck said to Sabrina and Daphne.
Both of the girls glared at him.
The shrinking increased dramatically and Sabrina found Puck’s nose just an inch from her own. The car door was pushing him closer while Red and Daphne were shoving her from the other side. If the interior shrank again they would most certainly be pushed even closer together. Accidents could happen! Accidents with lips!
“I hope you brushed this morning, piggie,” Puck said with a smile. He closed his eyes and puckered up for a kiss.
“Uncle Jake, drive faster!” Sabrina begged.
Looking offended, Puck scampered to his feet, using Sabrina’s head as a crutch. “Fine. I’m out of here,” Puck snarled as his pink fairy wings popped out of his back. He leaped into the air and allowed it to sweep him high above the car. Sabrina was relieved, but not for long. When the inside of the car shrank again she found her face buried in Poppa Bear’s hairy armpit.