The Elves of Cintra (Book 2 of The Genesis of Shannara)

She heard Ailie this time and realized that she was out of control, racing toward an almost certain collision, charging toward her own destruction. She throttled back on the ATV, fighting both the machine and her emotions, trying to bring herself under control.

?Que pasa, Angelita? ?You are never like this! Johnny’s voice was a sharp, quick warning in her mind, an admonition that she could not mistake. She clenched her teeth, tightened her grip on the handlebars, and resurrected the steely determination that had seen her through so many terrible battles.

Do not be such a coward! Her own voice this time, her own scathing admonition to match Johnny’s. She knew better. She had allowed herself to panic over possibilities and not for any good reason. It was a weakness she could barely tolerate in others and not at all in herself.

She rode the Mercury over to the side of the road and parked it with the motor still running, taking deep breaths to steady herself, aware of how hard her heart was beating in her chest. Behind her, she felt Ailie sit back on the seat, her grip loosening. She felt the pain in her body return in a sudden flood that racked her with enough force to cause her to jerk sharply in response.

“I’m sorry,” she said to Ailie without looking at her.

She shut off the engine and sat motionless in the ensuing silence, breathing in the night air, feeling the intense heat of her body begin to diminish and the wild churning of her emotions subside. The highway was a black ribbon to her left, stretching north and south as far as the eye could see, empty of everything, including the trash that was so prevalent everywhere else. Mountains hemmed in the highway from both sides, their peaks outlined in stark relief against the sky by ambient light from the stars and a sliver of moon.

“You had reason to be afraid,” Ailie said quietly.

Angel tightened her lips and flexed her shoulders against her tenseness. “I had reason to be afraid, but not reason to panic. Panic is a road to destruction, and I know better than to turn down that road.” She exhaled sharply. “

The demon managed to make me do so back there, but it will not do so again.

That much I can promise.”

“I believe you,” said Ailie.

She climbed down off the seat and walked around in front of the ATV where she could see Angel’s face. The tatterdemalion was a wisp of white gauze and pale flesh that shimmered with ghostly translucence. Her luminous eyes fixed on Angel.

“I am afraid all the time,” she said.

Angel stared at her. “Why would that be so? What are you afraid of?”

The tatterdemalion’s gaze did not waver. “Everything.” The dark eyes blinked. “I am afraid of everything, Angel. It is a condition caused by the nature of my existence. I live only a short time, and I know that other creatures live so much longer. If I did not think and were not aware of life spans, if I were an insect perhaps, it would not matter. But I do think and I am aware, and so I can appreciate how precious my time is. It does not help that I know I am in constant danger because of what I am and whom I serve. The demons hate creatures like me. So I am afraid even when I do not want to be or even when I do not need to be.”

“That sounds very unpleasant.” Angel hugged herself.

Tatterdemalions lived a mayfly existence, their lives spanning not much more than thirty days on average. They were there and gone in the blink of an eye.

“No one wants to be afraid. Even if it’s only now and then, let alone all the time.”

Ailie nodded. “I have learned to live with it. I have learned not to be ashamed of or angry with myself. I have learned that some things are simply a condition of our lives, and we cannot help them.”

Angel pursed her lips. “You are telling me I should be more like you. I should not be ashamed or angry about my fear. I should accept it.”

Ailie’s smile was small and winsome on her somber face. “At least you could think about it.”

Angel smiled back. “I guess I could, little conscience.”

Ailie climbed back up behind Angel. “I think we better go.

The Elves have need of us.”

Angel nodded. “Elves.” She brushed at her thick black hair.

“I still can’t get used to the idea. But I suppose I better.”

She turned the engine on again, engaged the throttle, and steered the Mercury back onto the highway headed north, its engine a dull roar in the night’s silence, its metal body sleek and silvery in the pale wash of the stars.