“You were worried. I wanted to help.”
I turned onto my side and curled into the fetal position. “She’s got to be hurt or trapped somewhere. She can’t contact me. The spell would work, otherwise. It always works.”
Mina plucked a feather from the comforter. “I don’t know her very well. But she seems . . . like a regular girl.”
“What does that mean?”
“You really thought a spell was the only way to be friends with her?”
I put my phone up against my heart, letting it warm me. “If my own sister wanted to get away from me, why would anyone else stick around?”
“Katelyn.” She tugged at my blanket, waited until I was looking right at her before continuing. “When did I try to get away?”
“As soon as you got better you were gone. Globetrotting without me. We used to talk about traveling together, but I guess that was dying-girl talk—not a real promise.”
“You had school.”
“So did you. But you didn’t go. The whole plan changed. You changed. Look at you.”
She bit her lip ring and shifted in her safety-pinned shirt. “When we found out the cancer was in remission . . . Yeah, I guess you’re right, in a way. I thought the rules had changed. They changed so I could live.” She frowned, remembering. “I had to jump at the chance. For the first time in years, I wasn’t dying. You don’t know—”
“No, I get it. I don’t know how hard it is to be sick and all that.” I took a breath and whispered, “I wanted you to get better, Mina. That’s all I wanted. For years. Mom and Dad spent all their time on you, and so did I, because I loved you.” I tried to breathe again but couldn’t because of the snot leaking from my nose. “This is the horrible selfish stuff I shouldn’t even be feeling. But I do feel this way. So it’s like I told you, I’m horrible.”
“I will still be your best friend, no matter how horrible you are.”
You know when someone says something super nice and heartfelt, and you know it’s true and she has no reason to lie, but instead of lifting you up it curdles and twists unbearably?
Mina did that. I should’ve been happy that my sister bothered to take the time with me—it should’ve washed away the past two years, or at least made them slightly less awful.
But Diana was out there somewhere, in trouble, because of me. Not to mention Ari and Cal—they were all potentially in danger. From something I’d done to them.
I don’t think even Mina would want to be my friend if I got Diana hurt. Or killed.
Or maybe she would stand by me, always understanding, loyal forever—but I didn’t want to be someone who she had to forgive every second of every day. I wanted to be better than that. Deserving. Someone that she would be proud to stand next to for the rest of our lives.
My phone buzzed with a text. I knew it wasn’t Diana, and I knew what I was going to do before I even read it. It was from Ari: Come to the hardware store NOW.
Mina read it over my shoulder. “I need you to drive me somewhere,” I said.
“Let me guess . . .”
I shook my head. “I have to stop somewhere first.”
Mina nodded and held my hand.
It would be okay. I would fix what the hook had broken.
I left my brothers and ran to the hardware store, which wasn’t easy after two weeks of living on Fritos and beer. By the time I got there it was officially the middle of the night, and the street was deserted, stores all dark and shuttered. You could hear the ocean hitting the sand a couple blocks away. Ari unfolded herself from where she was sitting, tucked in the store’s doorway. She stumbled and nearly fell, catching herself with a hand on the “WA” of the “WATERS” label on the glass door.
I thought I’d be furious to see her again, but it was a relief. For a second it didn’t matter that she’d forgotten Win—she cared about Diana as much as I did. That was something.
“You look like shit,” she said, her voice cracking.
“Thanks. Why don’t you fall down some more?”
“If you’re lucky. I fall like a goddamn angel.”
I got out my keys and gestured for her to get out of the way of the door.
“You really think she’s here?” I asked.
“Can’t hurt to check.”
I propped open the door with a brick. “Dev went through a couple hours ago when we were looking for Cal and said it was empty.”
Ari blinked a couple times. “Cal’s missing too?” I couldn’t read her face in the darkness. I was going to answer but she reached out and grabbed my arm, hard. “Do you smell that?” she asked, and as soon as she did I could: a dry, sharp chemical scent coming from inside the store.
Not good.