“You can go home when you can prove you can feed; when you can show me that you will continue to feed—even without me. I won’t let you go just so you can starve yourself. I can’t change the past, and I’m not going to play on words and say I’m sorry for what I did, because I’m not. I’m Fae; it’s how we are raised. Had you been raised with us, you’d see that this is how we get what we want, and how we show who the better mate is.”
“You were not in Faery, and I was raised by humans. You can’t expect for me to react as someone who was raised in Faery, any more than I can expect you to act like someone who was raised here. We just need to end this before it gets too complicated. Adam found his family, and I’m happy for him. I’m not staying with you, though. I can’t play cat and mouse anymore. You shouldn’t have killed Adrian, or ordered his change. I’m not even sure where we go from there. You’re not in this for me. You’re in it because you want me. Believe it or not, there is a difference.”
“I want you,” he growled and ran his fingers through his hair. “I know that much. It’s not just going to stop, because you tell me to. I take what I want, always have. I told you when we started this, Syn, I make no excuses for what I am.”
“You had my boyfriend turned into a Vampire,” I snapped.
“And you just almost got my men killed by the same group that tried to take out the Fae compound.”
“That was an accident. You gave an order! You wanted something like a spoiled fucking child, so you took out anything in the way to get to it,” I barked angrily, and heat fused in my cheeks with guilt.
“I wanted you, and I went for it with everything inside of me. I’m not some fucking little boy that will stand aside and wait for what I want. I did what I have been taught. I set events in motion so I could have you. I wanted you from the moment I saw you, Synthia Raine McKenna, and I did what I had to do to make it happen.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t expect him to act like a human, because he was anything but. Still, I wasn’t sure I could forgive him right now either, and wondered where we went from here. “I need to feed,” I whispered. “And then I need to get away from you.” I fought against the tears, but they fell, regardless of how much I tried to stop them.
The tick in his jaw was hammering wildly; his brands were pulsing in perfect tempo with them. I walked to the bed, ignoring him as I did so. I removed my shirt slowly, and tossed it on the floor, before unbuttoning my jeans and stepping out of them.
“You can’t leave without someone to feed from, Synthia.”
“I’ll figure it out, but at least that will be my choice. I need to get away from you. I need time to figure out what to do.”
“And if I say no?” he asked, narrowing his eyes as he stepped closer.
“Then you won’t like what happens. I have told you, repeatedly, that I’m not a pet. I can’t just be leashed, because you want to keep me, or because you enjoy me in your bed. I need more than that. I need someone I can trust, and who can trust me. That’s not us. We don’t trust each other, and I’m only yours until you are done. Truth is, I’m not even sure why I agreed to allow it to happen the first time. I should have run faster in the hunt, and I should have been smarter and told you no.”
He growled, but he didn’t move closer. Instead, he sifted from the room, so suddenly it left me breathless. Obviously, it left me boneless as well, because, the moment he was gone, my legs gave out and I cried. He’d told Vlad to change Adrian, and he hadn’t considered the consequences of it.
I wiped angrily at my eyes as the hunger pangs clenched agonizingly inside of me, but, once again, I tried to push it away. It’s how we’d gotten here in the first place. I was gulping down huge sobs when Ryder sifted back in, violently, sending a wind through the room in his haste. He picked me up off the floor, and cradled me against his chest as he sat on the bed.
“Fuck, Syn. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to think I was the better man, but I didn’t even stop to think of you. I don’t take humans to my bed. You were the first I had to have. I’d never thought this far ahead; I only thought as far as getting you into my bed. I fucked up. I was only buying time with you by sending Adrian away. I was stacking the deck in my favor so that I could make us happen. I was the smarter and better man; it should have impressed you. Instead, it broke you. I was supposed to be done with you by the time Adrian was done with his change. Instead, I only wanted you more after I’d had you. I hated that I wanted you; that someone like me could be obsessed with something like you. You were human, a Witch, and beneath me. It should have been a simple thing to get you out of my system. Instead, you rocked my foundation and made me need you. My mistake was expecting you to react like a Fae. Because of that, you will end up hating me.”