Tales from the Hood

“We’re aware of her troubles. What kind of treatment are you using on her? Drugs? Therapy? Counseling?” Robin asked.

 

“Treatment?” Nurse Sprat asked. “She’s completely off her rocker. There’s no treatment for a brain like hers. Poor thing. The things she’s seen. I’d probably have a couple screws loose, too, if I saw my grandmother get eaten.”

 

Nurse Sprat led them down a long, sterile hallway and stopped outside of a doorway that read MEDICAL PERSONNEL ONLY. The door had a dozen heavy-duty locks and a metal bar across it. Obviously, the staff had as little faith in the barrier spell as Sabrina did.

 

“She’s right in there, folks,” the nurse said, and she went about unlocking the door. When she was finished she opened it and stepped aside.

 

“You’re not going in with us?” Granny Relda asked.

 

“No way. She gives me the heebie-jeebies. But if I hear you screaming, I promise I’ll come running.”

 

“Thanks,” Sabrina grumbled.

 

“By the way,” Nurse Sprat said as she waddled back down the hall. “Keep your fingers in your pockets. She’s a biter.”

 

“Perhaps I should guard the door,” Barto said as he peered into Red’s room.

 

Robin Hood led the group into a bright white room with prison bars on the windows. Crayons and colored pencils were scattered about, many smashed underfoot and smeared on the room’s marble floor. Thousands of drawings were taped to the walls, all depicting the same scene: a small house in the woods surrounded by a mother, father, grandmother, a dog, and a small girl in a red cloak. The mother was carrying a baby in her arms.

 

Red Riding Hood sat at a tiny pink table bolted to the floor. She was having a tea party with several stuffed dolls. All the dolls were mangled and beaten. Most were missing their eyes, others legs and arms.

 

“Party guests!” Red Riding Hood cried, clapping her hands and laughing. “Please, do have a seat. There’s plenty of tea.”

 

“Relda, if you’d like to ask the questions, feel free,” Little John said, eyeing the girl nervously.

 

“Of course,” Granny said. “I’ve had some experience with Red.”

 

“Yeah, like that time she tried to kidnap you and kill us,” Sabrina said.

 

“Lieblings, stay close to me,” Granny said to the children.

 

The group approached the table tentatively, like they were sneaking up on a gorilla. Granny Relda was the first to take a seat, followed by Daphne, Robin Hood, and then Little John. Sabrina was happy to stand. She felt she could keep a better eye on the deranged Everafter if she were on her feet.

 

“It’s a lovely party,” Granny Relda said.

 

“Thank you,” Red Riding Hood said as she gestured to an empty plate at the center of the table. “Would you care for a cookie? My grandmother made them.”

 

“Thank you,” the old woman replied. She reached over and pretended to take one of the imaginary cookies. Robin and Little John did the same, while Red Riding Hood poured imaginary tea from a pot into everyone’s cups.

 

“Red, how are you feeling?” Granny asked.

 

“They took my basket,” the little girl said. “I need my basket. I have to take it to my grandmother’s house. She’s very ill.”

 

“I’m sure they will give it back to you, Red. We were wondering if we could ask you some questions,” Robin said, then pretended to take a sip of his tea.

 

“I have questions,” Red said. “So many questions. The people in the white coats won’t answer them, though. They say it’s all my imagination.”

 

“Well, how about if we play a little game? You can ask me a question and I will try to answer it, and then I’ll ask you a question and you can do the same,” Granny Relda said.

 

“Games! I love games!” Red cried. “Me first!”

 

“Very well, what is your question?” Granny replied, as Robin Hood took a tape recorder from his briefcase and turned it on.

 

“Where is my kitty?” Red asked.

 

Granny looked at the girls for help. It was clear she didn’t understand Red’s question, but Sabrina knew all too well what Red wanted to know. She was referring to the Jabberwocky she had used to terrorize the town. It was a nearly unstoppable killing machine with a thousand teeth, but to Red it was a cuddly kitten. The family had used an enchanted sword known as the Vorpal blade to kill it.

 

“She’s talking about the Jabberwocky,” Sabrina whispered.

 

Granny’s face flushed. “Red, your kitty is sleeping.”

 

“Sleeping?”

 

“Yes, he went to sleep and he didn’t wake up,” Granny said.

 

“Oh,” Red said, then grew quiet. “I love my kitty.”

 

“Perhaps you could get a new one,” Robin Hood said.

 

“A smaller one with less teeth,” Sabrina replied.

 

“And one that doesn’t breath fire,” Daphne added.

 

“Your turn!” Red said, rebounding from her sadness.

 

“What can you tell us about the Wolf?” Robin asked.

 

Red Riding Hood peered at him for a long time. It was obvious that she was confused, but Sabrina remembered what Red had once called Mr. Canis.

 

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