Hurt engraved itself into my heart. The truth was, I did love Abram. I loved him more than I had every loved anyone in that way. And he … just didn’t feel the same way.
It was then that a sickening truth leveled itself onto me. Is that why Abram had gotten so close to me? Had he wormed his way into my heart hoping that I might be the person he could fall in love with? Had he used me in some halfhearted attempt to break an age-old curse? And, worse than that, had he found me lacking?
Still, it wasn’t as though I could fault him for his feelings, or for trying to love me, or for wanting to break his curse.
Fact was, I would fight for him until the end. And, even though he didn’t love me, I knew he would fight for me, too. He had proven that much. He had risked his life for me time and time again. Even now, in our darkest hour, he didn’t flinch once as he faced the incredible odds to keep me safe. But why?
“Are you sure about this, Abram? If you don’t break the curse tonight, it can really never be broken?”
He gave a solemn nod. “I would still have the days, same as now. But that would be it for me. The hopes of reclaiming nights as a man will be gone forever. All chance for redemption will be lost.” He looked down at his clawed hands and let out a sound between a growl and a sigh. “But that doesn’t matter now.”
“Of course it matters,” I said, determined not to let his lack of feelings for me alter my feelings for him. I took his hands in my own, claws be damned. “There has to be something we can do. Anything. Just tell me what.”
“You shouldn’t concern yourself with this, Charisse. There’s too much going on, too much at stake. The curse is the least of my concerns.”
“Well, it shouldn’t be,” I said. “And you shouldn’t have started whatever mystical clock you did by bringing Satina back.”
“I don’t want to fight with you right now,” he answered quietly, recognizing the tone in my voice.
“Too bad.” I ran hands through my hair, shaking out my natural curls and trying to reset my tired brain. “I’d rather not be running from a Frankenstien’s monster-esque mob, but we are where we are.” My voice was lower now, more sincere. “I didn’t ask for this.”
“I understand that. And I also understand that you didn’t do anything to deserve it. You were born into this life.” He was barely able to keep his human form now, struggling as he was against his beastly nature. “But I will keep you safe,” he said. “I swear it.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” I said, my voice breaking. “I know you’ll do everything you can to keep me safe. But I didn’t ask you to. And I certainly didn’t ask you to give away your one chance at happiness to get it done.”
“Charisse—”
“No.” I threw my hands in front of me, no longer willing to let the elephant in the room remain unseen. “I get that you don’t love me and, if you give me a little time to process that, I might even be able to understand it. But what I don’t understand—what I’m not sure I’ll ever understand—is why you would do something like this for someone you didn’t even care about.”
His eyes shot open. The entirety of his morphing body tensed. “Why would you say something like that?” He moved closer to me. “Why the hell would you even think something like that?”
I bristled as he neared me. It was strange. Hours ago, his body felt like home to me—that safe place I had spent my entire life looking for but had never found. And now, with this newest revelation, I couldn’t think of anything more ludicrous.
“You know why,” I said. “You don’t love me.” Anger started to pool in my gut and bubble up like venom through my throat and out my mouth. “I scoffed at Satina when she compared me to all your other conquests. I actually thought there was something different about me, about us. But I was wrong. I didn’t think someone could touch someone the way you touched me and not feel anything behind it.”
His mouth, almost completely a snout now, clenched together. With pain etched in his face, he transformed his face back into human form. “I know you think you know everything. God knows you’re stubborn enough to think you can see every piece on this chess board. But there are some things, Charisse, that are even above that beautiful, hard head of yours.”
“You either love me or you don’t, Abram. Love isn’t a complicated thing. It’s there or it’s not.”
A loud shuffling sounded from far off.
“They’re coming,” Abram said, crouching into a feral position. “We need to get into the house.”
“Why?” I asked.
“There’s no time for that. Get on.” He leaned over, motioning for me to climb on his back.
I didn’t move.
“Damn it Charisse! Get on my goddamn back!”
Again, I didn’t move.
“Do you want me to beg to save you?”
I didn’t answer. The rustling just got louder, signifying that the mob, or at least part of it, was getting closer.