She was undermining things. For my sake. And I hated myself for it. “We don’t live in one of those place, Lulu. You need to rest.”
“Rest?” she said. “My best friend was missing. I couldn’t just lay there. I had to do something, even if it was just sit here with the rest of the town and worry.”
I squeezed her tightly. This was a detour. I should push her away and start my tirade of crazy sense-making, but I needed this. I needed this respite to remind me of who I was, of what I was fighting for.
“Thank you,” I said over the noise of the crowd. “But I’m not missing anymore. Go back. I’ll be okay.”
“Will you?” she asked, her mouth twisting up. “Did that bastard hurt you?” She studied my face as though the answer might lie in my sunken cheeks or disheveled hair.
“It wasn’t like that,” I assured her. “Abram’s not who you think he is.”
“Don’t you mean he’s not what you think he is?” Ester’s voice screeched in my ears like fingernails on a chalkboard.
“I don’t have time for you,” I snapped, looking past Lulu and the epitome of privileged bitchiness that was Ester. Returning my attention to Lulu, I continued. “He’s not a monster, Lu.”
“The hell he’s not.” Ester tilted her coiffed head. “We all saw it, and the fact that you’re still willing to defend whatever that thing is, after what he did to you, means you’re either sick or stupid.”
“Ester!” Lulu spun around. “Charisse has been through a horrible ordeal. I can’t even imagine—”
“Neither can I,” Ester said, folding her arms. “But I don’t need to.” Ester’s eyes traced me, resting on my bosom. “Look, it’s no secret that you and I aren’t exactly friends. But that doesn’t mean I wanted to see you dead, and it sure as sugar doesn’t mean I wanted to see you kidnapped and harmed by some strapping man-monster.”
“Sure as sugar?” I repeated slowly. “What are you, from Pleasantville?”
“I have children to protect.” She pursed her lips. “We all do. This is our home and, unlike a certain washed-up slash never-was supermodel, we actually like it here. So, while I have all the sympathy in the world for you and your plight, if you’re insist on being the twenty-first century Patty Hearst, I’m just going to have to write your plus-sized behind off.” She looked to Lulu. “And you’d be smart to do the same. You’ve got as much to lose as any of us.”
“You’re right,” Lulu said, and my heart sank. Was it possible that she was turning on me, that one of my worst fears was coming to pass and Lulu had finally realized that she had outgrown me? “I do have a lot of things to lose, Ester. But a friend won’t be one of them. Certainly not my best friend.” She took my hand and, in some small part, that was enough. It certainly helped to see Ester’s face fall in recognition.
“I hope you know what you’re doing then.” Ester glared at me. “Putting your friend in danger like this.” She clicked her tongue and narrowed her eyes as she leaned in closer. “But I’ll say this much. You have brought nothing but trouble to our town since the minute you slunk in here. Death after death. One strange occurrence after the next.” Ester shook her head, then turned her attention back to my best friend. “Don’t come crawling to me when she gets you killed, Lulu.”
I would have told her dead people don’t come crawling back, but it wasn’t worth it, for more reasons than one.
Lulu squeezed my hand as Ester turned and walked away.
“She’s kind of a bitch, isn’t she?” Lulu asked, smiling.
“A little bit,” I answered.
Looking to her, I felt a wash of emotions. She had just had a baby, a baby I hadn’t even seen. And what if Ester was right? This was, in some way, my fault. What if knowing me, if choosing me, was enough to get Lulu killed? I couldn’t live with myself if that happened. But there was Abram to think about, too. He was out there somewhere, injured. If he died …
I couldn’t even think about that.
“You believe me then?” I asked.
“I believe that you believe,” she answered, her face placid. “But I also believe that you’ve been through a lot, much more than anyone should have to.” She squeezed my hand again. “And maybe you’re not seeing things very clearly right now.”
Oh, Lulu. She meant well.
I felt hands on my back. I didn’t have to turn to know they were Dalton’s. I knew his hands and, though they had never been as rough with me as they were now, planted firmly against my shoulders, I recognized them.
“We need to go, Char,” he said softly. Looking ahead, I realized that the crowd was dispersing, funneling out the front of the building undoubtedly on their way to ‘take care’ of Abram. And Dalton wanted me to go with them.
“I won’t help you!” I spun around. “I won’t lead you to him! I can’t!”