“What was it like growing up with that?” I glanced over at him, suddenly feeling guilty for moping about my life when he’d had it even harder. At least I had Matt and Maggie.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Probably like growing up in a boarding school with a strict headmistress. She was always lurking in the background, and I knew that she had the final say on everything. But her interaction with me was at an absolute minimum.” He looked at me again, this time uncertainly.
“What?”
“She’s not quite as secretive as she thinks, though. This is a big house, but I was a sneaky little kid.” He bit his lip and fiddled with a button on his blazer. “You know she used to sleep with Finn’s dad?”
“I do,” I said quietly.
“I thought he would tell you.” Rhys fell silent for a minute, chewing his lip. “Elora was in love with him. She’s strange when she’s in love. Her face is different, softer and more radiant.” Rhys shook his head, lost in a memory. “It was almost worse seeing her like that, knowing that she’s capable of kindness and generosity. It made me feel gypped that all I ever got were icy glares from across the room.”
“I’m sorry.” I put my hand gently on his arm. “I wish I could say something to make you feel better. But to be honest, I can’t imagine how horrible it must have been to grow up like that.”
He forced a smile, then shrugged, pushing away the memory.
“Anyway. Finn’s father left Elora, for his wife, which was just as well.” Rhys looked thoughtful for a moment. “Although I bet she would’ve thrown it all away to be with him, if he had really loved her. But that’s not the point.”
“What is the point?” I asked shakily.
“Rumor has it she keeps Finn around because she still loves his old man, even though he never loved her. Nothing’s ever happened between Finn and Elora, I’m sure.” Rhys let out a heavy sigh. “But . . .”
“But what?”
“Finn’s dad never looked at her the way Finn looks at you.” He let it hang in the air for a second as I tried to figure out what he meant. “So you’ve got that strike against you too. She never wanted to be a mother, and you’re getting the one thing she never had.”
“What are you talking about? I haven’t gotten anything she never had, and I definitely don’t have Finn. I . . . we never . . . it’s just official business.”
“Wendy.” Rhys looked at me with a sad smile. “I know that I wear my heart on my sleeve, but you’re just as bad.”
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I stuttered and looked away from him.
“All right.” Rhys laughed. “Whatever you say.”
To lighten the moment, Rhys made some joke that I didn’t really catch. My mind raced and my heart pounded. Rhys must be imagining things. And even if he wasn’t, surely Elora wouldn’t punish Finn for that. Would she?
TWENTY
resignation
Finn reached the stairs, and I scrambled to my feet. He had probably only been with Elora for fifteen minutes, but in my mind it seemed like forever. Rhys had been sitting next to me, but he got up much slower than I had. Finn looked over us with disdain, then turned and started walking up the stairs without a word.
“Finn!” I jogged after him, but Rhys rather smartly made his escape to the kitchen. “Wait! Finn! What happened?”
“A conversation,” Finn replied glibly. I scurried to keep up with him, but he made no effort to slow down, so I grabbed his arm, stopping him halfway up the stairs. He glanced back over his shoulder as if looking for Rhys, clearly avoiding my gaze. “I thought I told you to stay away from the m?nsklig.”
“Rhys was just sitting with me while I waited for you,” I said. “Get over it.”
“It’s very dangerous for you to be around him.” Finn faced the top of the stairs but looked at me from the corner of his eye. “It’s dangerous for you to be around me.” I didn’t appreciate the way he wouldn’t look at me directly. I missed his dark eyes.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I demanded.
“Let go of my arm,” Finn said.
“Just tell me what’s going on, and I’ll leave you alone,” I said, tightening my grip.
“I have been relieved of my duties,” Finn answered carefully. “Elora no longer perceives a threat, and I have been insubordinate. I am to pack my things and leave the premises as soon as possible.”
The air completely went out of my lungs. It was my worst fear. Finn was going to leave, and it was my fault. He had been defending me when I should’ve been defending myself. Or I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.
“What?” I gaped at him. “That’s not right. You can’t . . . You’ve been here for so long, and Elora trusts you. She can’t . . . It’s my fault! I’m the one who refused to listen!”
“No, it’s not your fault,” Finn insisted firmly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”