Rexi headed out the door, and Kato padded behind her.
My temper and hair crackled, and I wasn’t about to let that wench get the last word. I stalked after Hydra and turned her around. “Hey. You don’t know jack sprat. Kato could be puce with green stripes that clashed with everything I owned. He could turn into a mountain troll and eat nothing but goats. Wouldn’t change a thing. And you’re right; he might be stupid for wanting me, but for some reason he does—curse, shoe addiction, and all. So a little thing like being furry won’t stop me from falling in love.” My face grew even hotter than my emerald flames. “Not that I am or…”
A slow smile spread over Hydra’s face. “And that were exactly what I needed to hear.” She grabbed a new head off the shelf and pushed us out the door. “Out, out, unless you wanna git squished.” An excited shiver shook her body. “This is gonna be good.”
“Rule #92: Need to wake a sleeping cutie or transform a frog into prince charming? The best magical cure is always a kiss.”
—Definitive Fairy-Tale Survival Guide, Volume 1
29
A Spoonful of Sugar…
Hydra yanked off her current head and tossed it to Rexi again.
“Yech. Throw one of these at me again, and I swear I’m gonna chuck it like a golden ball into the river,” she said, holding the head as far away from her as possible.
Kato shook his head. “Dot was right. You’re too wussy to be an evil villain mastermind.”
Hydra ignored us all and positioned the new head. It was dark skinned with sharp bones piercing the bridge of her nose. Small opossum-ish creatures hung from holes in her earlobes. And her hair was shaped and colored like a lemon afro. Once the new head connected to Hydra’s body, the parts store closed itself for business and folded up.
We all watched Hydra’s multiple personality disorder in action. Kato looked elf-struck, since he had been passed out the last time. Even for those of us who had already seen the show, it was impressive.
The tinderbox reopened and became a grass hut with a conical stick roof lined with wendigo horns. This time, the outside was decorated with dragon hides and chupacabra skins. Hydra looked at the hut expectantly, like something was missing. She muttered and kicked the door. A small sign rolled down: The Witch Doctor Is In.
Apparently satisfied with the transformation, Hydra opened the door and invited us in. Curved shelving lined the walls from roof to dirt floor. Aside from the heads, the shelves were stuffed with jars of all sizes and contents. I read a few of the labels: lizard breath, spider’s shoes, pickled pixie pops, rotten beetle juice.
In the center of the floor was a big black cauldron boiling over with purple mist. Hydra went to the counter, picked out a little recipe card, and traded it for the head in Rexi’s hand. “You be makin’ yaself useful now and be gatherin’ ingredients.” Her voice was smooth and reminded me of caramel. It was different than it had been earlier. Come to think of it, the body shop voice was different than the blind hag too. I suppose it made sense in a “not really at all” kind of way.
Rexi held up the list and groaned when it folded down like a Jacob’s ladder, tripling her work.
Kato sauntered over and tapped me on the back with his tail. He was grinning so wide you could see his back fangs. “So…love, huh?”
High up on the ladder, Rexi reached for the jar of newt nuts but couldn’t resist getting in a jab. “She’s been hit on the head multiple times and drugged. Her judgment is clearly impaired.”
I didn’t have a mirror, so I couldn’t tell if my flames were burning the tips of my ears or not, but it felt that way. My pronouncement had been made in the heat of the moment, and now I was in the awkward after moment. What had I just done? Thoughts zip-a-dee-do-da’ed through my mind. I very carefully replayed every word Kato said. Not one of them was love. Or even like. He said, “She’s worth it.” Maybe he was thinking of my political value. Or the worth of my new powers. Maybe it had nothing to do with me as a person at all.
Instead of just asking him how he felt, I took the coward’s way out. “What was that, Hydra? I’ll be right over,” I said, cocking my ear to the imaginary call. I ran over to the small prep table where Hydra was making some calculations. Kato followed me but didn’t say anything more; his smug, satisfied look spoke plenty.
Tugging on the tiger-print tablecloth she was writing on, I got her attention. “You spoke about costs earlier. I don’t have anything on me right now other than the jewels in the dress. Will that be enough? Or do you need more?”
Her face smoothed and got very serious. “Costs not be in da terms of jewels nor gold. Cost be comin’ from ya life.”
“Are you talking about a sacrifice? Because if so, I nominate Rexi,” Kato said, trying to take a peek at Hydra’s notes.