Erwin leaned back, the chair creaking long and low. His attention flicked over her shoulder. “There’s more you need to know. More that explains—” he released his breath in a long sigh “—everything that has happened to you. When you’re ready, ask. We know you’re confused, but we are here to help you. And I think once you understand, some of your impatience and uncertainty will subside.”
She looked up from the map. She blinked. Information swirled in her head. “Oh. Am I…? Are you dismissing me?”
Erwin raised his hand up in a grand gesture at the entry behind her.
Lena twisted in her seat. Reyes leaned against the jamb of the opened door, hands buried deep in his pockets. His face was as relaxed as his posture.
“Where’s Jackson?” she asked automatically. She gritted her teeth at herself.
Something flitted over the calm mask, gone before she could name it. “He volunteered to go out on field exercises until tomorrow evening. He was worried he might lose his…” Reyes paused and smiled briefly. “Particular skills. Thomas agreed.”
“Oh.” She couldn’t think of anything else to say. She couldn’t think of anything at all, even though her mind raced.
He cocked his head slightly in the direction of the hall behind him. “C’mon. I actually have a surprise for you.”
Lena looked back at Erwin. “Thank you. You’ve given me a lot to think about.” She stood and shook the man’s hand. A part of her watched with incredulous detachment.
She joined Reyes and walked with him back down the halls to the elevator, and then off the elevator to her room. She said nothing. She was aware of Reyes studying her. He even managed to look concerned.
When they reached her door, Reyes leaned to key the lockbox. She grabbed his arm. He waited, staring back at her while her fingers held tight to his arm. She had to know….
“How old are you?” Her voice was low and hoarse and tense. She didn’t know why it mattered, but it did. For all of his experience and authority, he seemed young and handsome and strong. He didn’t look a day over thirty. And yet, all of the stories of his exploits she’d heard since she’d been here—if he was only thirty, how could he have packed so much into the five years since graduation? She answered herself now: he couldn’t. “How old are you, Reyes?”
His head cocked to the side, and he searched her face. Bit by bit, he let the mask go. He let her see the pinched lines around his brown eyes, the lines of worry between his brows. He let her see his chin work as he chewed the inside of his lower lip. He took a deep breath and gave her the truth that she needed.
“I’m forty-eight years old, Lena.” He nodded, acknowledging the shock that must be obvious on her face. “I’m forty-eight.”
Chapter 14
Alex held her shocked gaze. Her shock wouldn’t merely be over his age, or the confirmation of what Erwin had told her, but must be born from the implications of what all of this meant for her. This wasn’t simply news about her probable lifespan. It required a total reexamination of what she believed to be true, even of her own parents. Would she ever question if her mother had been older than Lena thought? She had been, by a couple of decades.
He waited for the explosion of denial, or more anger, even. He didn’t expect the wobble as her knees let go. If she hadn’t been holding onto his arm with her death grip, she might have gone down.
He wrapped his free arm around her, giving her support, and pulled her to him.
No, no. Danger.
He had no business holding her in his arms. For someone who gave such an overwhelming impression of fire and strength, she curved slight and soft against his chest and stomach. She even smelled good. The voice shouting in his head for his attention was absolutely correct: he didn’t need the kind of trouble she could bring into his life, regardless of how much the rest of him was interested in exploring the idea. He’d spent the last month and a half avoiding her for precisely that reason.
Alex maneuvered her around and leaned her against the wall and put several inches of space between them. “Breathe,” he told her, voice low. “Just breathe. And try not to think of it all right now.”
She gasped out a laugh. “Don’t think of it. Excellent suggestion. Tell me how.”
He leaned away, and her hand tightened again on his arm. Okay, she needed the connection. Not a big deal. “I mean take it in pieces. Don’t try to see all of it at once.”
“Pieces, huh?”
He nodded. Her fingers were moving as she thought, back and forth as she gripped and released his arm through the sleeve of his shirt.
“I’m strong? I know I am, but…I’m really strong, right?”
He nodded.
“So that means…?” She must know what it meant, but she moved on, as if the concept was too big to apply to herself. “How is this possible? How does everyone not know?”
He shrugged. “The strongest, the longest-lived, they all become Wards, who all become agents. The mid-ranges, their life spans vary enough that it isn’t that obvious to most people.”