And that equation included her. Whatever connection she felt? Whatever lame response her Dust tortured her with? It was one-sided.
Jackson looked back over his shoulder. He flashed a sickly half-smile and indicated with a gesture that he was going to hurry up the long corridor to talk to Reyes. She waved her fingers at him, telling him to go.
The two men walked together ahead of her, Reyes dangerous and controlled and Jackson eagerly matching his pace. The men slowed, and Reyes turned to Jackson, finally engaged in whatever he was saying. She hung back.
She could see Reyes’s nature now in the easy smile he flashed at Jackson. His dark eyes still calculated and ran through scenarios. Was his mind ever still? A memory rose, of Reyes reciting poetry as he remembered his father to her. She pushed it away.
Whatever he’d offered Jackson had lit up the younger man’s face with relief. Her heart squeezed. Hope shone out of his smile like a beacon. Other than those wide, heavy shoulders, Jackson’s smile was the best of many good features. It was broad and excited now as he nodded and shook Reyes’s hand in agreement.
She returned her scrutiny to Reyes. He relinquished Jackson’s hand and turned to flash her a satisfied smile before moving away down the hallway, his confident stride graceful and smooth.
Jackson stood in front of her, then, and she forced herself to look away from Reyes’s back. “What was that all about? Did you make up?”
“Make up?” He gave her a puzzled look.
“Yeah. You said you were worried about someone catching us together. Obviously from your reaction, you were worried about what Reyes would think.” She was pissed at Reyes. She shouldn’t take it out on Jackson.
“I wasn’t—Lena, I was worried, period.”
She glared at him. “Why?”
“Why?” He stopped walking. “Really?”
“Yes, why really,” Lena snapped. “You’re twenty-four years old. What do you care if someone catches you kissing some girl?”
“I’m a Ward,” he said, as if that explained everything. It didn’t make it any clearer to her. “And you’re not just ‘some girl.’ I’ve been trying not to jeopardize my graduation.”
“Why would kissing me jeopardize your becoming an agent?”
He shook his head, closing his eyes. “Because of who you are. It just does.”
Oh, so this is my fault? She couldn’t help a sullen mutter. “It didn’t look jeopardized to me.”
“No. No, he understands. And he’s not going to say anything to the Councilor.” He looked away down the hall. “I hope you understand. I know you don’t like him, but he’s being very generous. He’s even offered to mentor me when this assignment is over.”
She couldn’t keep the hurt from flaring. “This assignment? Is that what his comment back there was about?”
His face fell. “I—no. They don’t want—I don’t have permission to—”
“Permission?” Her voice wasn’t sullen anymore, it was angry and loud. She didn’t care. “You’re waiting for permission to be intimate with your assignment?”
He shook his head, lips compressed and face unhappy. “I didn’t mean you’re an assignment. I meant—”
“I know what you meant.” She lifted her chin. “Where’s Erwin’s office? I’d like to get this over with. And the sooner you drop me off,” she added with brittle precision, “the sooner you can go report on the status of your assignment. Or maybe you were planning to ask for permission? If that’s the case, don’t bother.”
He sighed, a whisper of sound that became her name.
Lena turned away, rapid footsteps carrying her to the elevators. She’d rather sit in an office with a Guardian than listen to whatever Jackson had to say.
***
Except for his luxurious lion’s mane of golden brown hair threaded with washed out grey, Guardian Erwin was a middling man—middle-aged, mid-height, and of middling weight. Even his eyes were washed out, a watery hazel mix somewhere between brown and green. When Jackson ushered her in, Erwin distractedly told her to have a seat at a cluttered table shoved into the far corner of his office. In the same breath, he ordered Jackson out. Lena didn’t turn back when he left.
With a long-suffering sigh, Erwin settled himself into the seat beside her. “How much did your—” his voice took on a note of distaste “—zone educators teach you about the history of the Great Disaster?”
She shook her head, willing herself to focus. She felt herself shrinking back into her chair and reversed course, straightening her spine. She refused to be cowed by any of them. “I didn’t go to school.”